Many of us believe logic is the way to make a decision and for some things it may work out just fine.
The truth is “LIFE IS ILLOGICAL.”
We plan for A and B happens, we get upset and disappointed, because somehow we believe we have control over how everything goes, especially when we mapped it out so logically.
Intuition is alway in operation 24/7, it nudges us in the direction we should go……it is simple, not complicated (as our logical decisions where we analyze everything to the nth degree).
Most of us simply don’t trust it, we think it must be more complicated and often, it goes against what our “brain” says the right thing to do is in a situation.
The brain operates from experience and intuition from our truth. We always know the truth, but we let past experiences interfere in our journey, so as to keep us safe.
Intuition knows no time….intuition is not looking at the past as a barometer for what will happen in the future. if it didn’t work in the past, it doesn’t care…there is an opportunity for different circumstances, people and opportunities than there may have been in the past moment.
How do we learn to trust it? To know it?
Besides meditation as a way to know ourselves, what can we do daily to check into intuition?
1. Press pause.
Most people who read my posts, know I recommend pausing for a variety of reasons. Pausing gives us a minute to have our mind, body and spirit get in sync. When I am struggling with a decision or stressed, I pause for a moment and pay attention to what is going on inside of me….it’s an opportunity for the voice in my head to quiet down and the voice in my gut to be heard.
2. Feel the urge and follow it.
Our intuition can be felt physically. Whenever we feel like we fight the urge, we’re fighting our truth. The urge is our intuition directing us to where we should go. When I go against my gut, I almost always regret the decision. It doesn’t work out how I pictured it in my head and even if by chance it does….I don’t feel a sense of fulfillment. Intuition is a flow and we feel in the flow of life when we follow our intuition.
3. Test your intuition.
When we are thinking about lunch, it’s a great opportunity to stop. Just stop thinking and feel what our “gut” wants….and do it. Start testing it out when driving, just because we’ve always taken one road home, perhaps our gut is telling us to take another road. When we test our intuition, it is an opportunity to build trust in following its directions.
The more we test drive our intuition, the more we can rely on it for our successes in life, for the opportunities we might have missed had we just relied on our brain and its encyclopedia of experiences.
Intuition brings true freedom and leads us away from our subconscious programming….try a tip today and see what happens! :)
For years I thought a state of perfection was attainable..and that once I reached it, my life would work. I would be okay and could then accept myself.
I have a myriad of excuses as to why I didn’t deserve my own love. It kept me in a constant state if stress and pain. It did not help me to achieve fulfilling success, if anything it just screwed me up more….it set me on a journey to fix myself.
Yep…I thought I could fix my fatal flaw, whatever that was and along the way…I learned something about the goal. Clearly, there’s no state of perfection. It was a whacked out goal that could NEVER bring me happiness.
I stopped seeking and started accepting myself…all the hard bits and pieces. We’re all okay just the way we are…today. Not our future self, but our present self….
In my early twenties, my career was in sales.
I hated the thought of it, cuz my warped idea of sales was like a used-car salesman: fake and conning people into something they didn’t want.
In sales, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing! My entire focus was on getting through a call or dealing with rejection, so the thought of competition with others was a foreign concept.
I intuitively knew back then, competing with others never brings us fulfilling success.
We may temporarily feel like the king or queen of the mountain, when we win, but it quickly fades. We need something else to fulfill the ego, the emptiness and tell us we’re okay.
In sales and later sales management, my focus was never on the competition.
It wasn’t because I was without ego, it was because I was competing with myself to be MY best.
Whenever someone complemented my ability to bring in clients from cold calls or land accounts that those around me deemed impossible….I didn’t feel good, I’d become afraid.
My first thought: “How will I sustain this? I will surely fail.”
My fear was letting ME down, because someone had recognized I did something well. I was so afraid of future criticism about failing, it spurred me for years!
I never felt like a winner.
I landed large accounts and would do the impossible, all while blocking out what others in my business would do…no comparing, no topping, no nothing….the thought of looking at someone else’s techniques or copying their way of selling, overwhelmed me. It just seemed to make it harder.
When I got into coaching, it was accidental (which is a story for another day)…and my classmates there, said I had a natural talent for it! That scared me! Oh shit, now I had crazy-ass expectations of me.
Whenever we compare….whether it’s to ourselves and our own expectations… or to another….we take our joy away. The last thing we’ll feel like is a winner in the long run. Instead, we’ll find more ways to believe we must keep up, copy someone else or beat them up (and ourselves in the process).
Intuitively, I went within, I didn’t look at anyone else. I incorporated my psychic work into my coaching….and for a long time I had no website, it was all in-person. When I started to invest in marketing myself, I looked at the competition and that feeling of overwhelm returned.
Everyone else looked so successful and I had nothing to COMPARE TO…LOL, NOTHING!
It made me GULP; I started comparing what they did and what I did. The horrible expectations and comparisons I already had going on inside me, were let loose!
What did I find in this comparison hell? Nothing, but… pain.
How did I figure a WINNING solution? How did I shut up the critic in my head?
1. I went cold turkey, no paying attention to what everyone else was doing.
It never feels good. It’s never fulfilling. It feels like shit and besides that, if there was a true formula for success, wouldn’t we all be able to do an exact copy and re-create the success?
2. Focused on my joy.
Whether I succeed or fail externally had to be put aside, when that’s the focus we’re strung out, stressed out and criticizing the crap out of our every move. Re-focus on what allows passionate engagement.
3. Believing in my own way of success.
Trusting the intuitive rather than playing ping pong in my head, means being more in the moment and engaged daily in what I do. Creating by taking action and not focusing on it’s success, will naturally lead us toward success or realizing we need to change something.
I’m human, we all are…being kind to ourselves as we smack into our limited thinking, fears and other crap, not to mention external obstacles FEELS WAY BETTER than mentally beating ourselves up. Shit will happen….the best we can do is not personalize and keep doing number 2.
Need more help with it, contact me to develop your own winning way of living!
Shame just sucks.
It can keep us playing small indefinitely.
We may be loving our NEW choice and then we’re reminded of how we aren’t good enough, failed or have not lived up to some self-imposed expectation. We then may stop doing what we have decided to do…and instead retreat back to the safety of what is known.
If we really want to live, we must take risks…and we must try again, and sometimes what has failed in the past must be re-visited and taken on again.
Shame can deter us, take our confidence and make us search out the opinions’ of others who will reinforce the shame. They may want to keep us safe or fear we may not need them anymore or because they themselves would be too fearful to go in the direction we are headed; they may push our SHAME buttons.
The key is to hear the voice, understand why it is pushing us to stop, hide or ditch our efforts. When we know the reason, we can clearly see that shame is of the past, not the present. Each day is a brand new slate to begin, so we can choose what we’re going to do … even if shame is beating us down. :)
Watch my video that goes into shame and what you can do to stop it.
I am sharing this based on a question I recently received. I feel so many things are thrown at us and we are always struggling with the answers. Am I living my life on purpose? Is this my mission? Is this all there is? And so on.
So, as I sat writing the other day, I took a break for a few minutes to record this video, which answers the question: What is Your Life Purpose? :)
I received that statement in a text.
It came from a man who I shared an on/off relationship with for 5 years.
It’s not so much of what would provoke him to write that statement, but the lack of self-responsibility in having created the situation for himself…causing him to feel that way.
It seems he believed this occurred through no fault of his own.
In my response…I held the mirror up and suggested he might want to look at how he rejects his own happiness and that as much as he claims, “He’s complicated,” it’s his own choice, so that he may remain alone.
I didn’t want to tell him what he’s doing right or wrong, nor did I want to rescue him from himself. I just tried to mirror back his statements, because I used to say things like that to myself all the time!!!
All the time. Daily. Morning, Noon and Night.
I thought the Universe was out to get me….or that I just attracted shit, because of something beyond my control. I didn’t realize my feelings about me and my life were attracting people/situations that suited my depressed outlook.
This man labeled himself complicated.
Being complicated is an excuse.
It keeps us busy with our rules and fears, so we let nothing in; it holds up the walls from any intimate intrusion.
When we’re complicated we need things to be in a state of perfection (only known in our minds) before we can allow ourselves to go there.
And where is that exactly? To being vulnerable.
I used to be complicated.
I could sit in my head for days.
A state of self-absorption, everything was personal and the outside circumstances were always a source of frustration; A STORY, because I was trained to have an inauthentic reaction.
Being complicated is inauthentic…..simplicity comes from being real.
HE lives in his head by his own proclamation. His next response to me, “Who wants me?” This statement used to make me prove myself, my love, my loyalty…to save someone him.
I used to rescue him, so I could ignore myself. Now it felt so heavy…so victimized, because he again showed no responsibility for where his life appeared to be…
And a few days later he wrote another text, basically blaming me for his feelings. For his choices. For how he treated me.
Over five years, I let go slowly, because I wanted to understand ME and WHY I chose PAIN. I became important to myself in the process. I’m no longer looking for the qualities of PAIN in a relationship that I subconsciously held onto when I met him. I don’t need the approval, the win or to slog thru his pain as the focal point of a relationship.
I had learned that as long as I said yes to pain–it’s what I would receive.
We’d always reach the point, where he’d state he couldn’t be consistent, show up or commit to anything more than being on the outskirts of my life, BUT HE wanted the deep emotional space within me that is open for an intimate relationship.
Basically, he wanted me to hang out til he was ready.
I share this, because so many people who contact me hold out hope of a person waking up and owning their life…so the relationship they’ve invested in and believed to be “the one,” becomes a reality.
It cannot be the focus.
The focus must come back to ourselves; letting go of wanting someone to change, and instead understanding our attraction in the first place.
We must accept the reality of how this person shows up, stop blaming them and know our attraction to the inevitable pain in a relationship.
Take responsibility for our choices, by quitting the fight for our needs to be met and to feel loved.
Inside of us is where true peace, love, evolution and happiness reside.
If you’re stuck in a situation, where you feel victimized, stuck or can’t let go, please contact me: email@example.com
Thoughts can weigh us down, especially when we don’t realize there is a whole other way to approach our life.
The freedom in not thinking, rationalizing or brooding over something(someone) we want to fix, change or grow is as Einstein said, “I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.”
Focusing on creation is the heart beat of life; it’s where the small seed resides, which leads us to the next discovery, opportunity and way out of the prison of fearful, trapped thoughts.
The merry-go-round of thoughts over and over waiting for something to change or thinking how to force change upon circumstances outside of us is anything, but creative!
I’ve learned more and more to focus on what I want to create, less on what is not working and letting go of what I cannot control. The more we release the heavy burdens and fearful thoughts causing us stress of what we cannot control….the more room there is for creativity.
To create means it builds upon itself, there is no linear path and there’s no stop sign (Stop signs exist in our head); we may choose to make a left turn, but if we’re really in the thick of our creative focus…whatever direction it leads is okay. We cannot predict or know the road we have not yet traveled.
To be okay and accept the place we currently are IN THIS MOMENT with it’s unsolved riddles is the first step in creation. When we focus on the frustration of the never-ending, repetitive cycles and problems we encounter, all they will do is grow and our perspective will remain unchanged.
We will stay in the limitation of being controlled by everything around us.
As Einstein also stated, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
If you’re going through a struggle or trying to start your life over or make a change….do yourself a favor and don’t invest in the struggle mentally, don’t think things have to be a certain way and definitely don’t keep trying to force things that are beyond your control to fit into this picture.
Most people, when they come to me have no idea about what would truly make them happy, all they know is they want to escape where they are now.
Soooo…what is the first step?
Get clear on ONE thing…something that brings you a great deal of joy to engage in whether it is art, meditating, walking, creating a flow chart…whatever it is, DO IT! TODAY!