Chasing, Tripping And Falling Down

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Have you ever found yourself running after something? Literally or metaphorically? As in, wanting something so bad, whether it wants you or not?

It’s a single-minded attachment to having that person, place or thing, right?

Often we may hide it. No one really knows what we deeply desire and so we covertly chase after it; wishing, wanting, praying, hoping and putting immense energy to shoving it down, so we seem like we really don’t want it to the rest of the world.

But we do! We want it sooooo bad!

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we at times openly chase something, and at other times ‘act’ like its no big deal, even though we want it just as much?

Because we feel we cannot have it.

We don’t deserve it, aren’t good enough, haven’t proven ourselves, want to appear above it–not needing (or needy), and so these deeply held shiteous beliefs run our lives delivering exactly what that barren desert ending is… the one confirming our worst fears.

Rita felt like everything was always a struggle. Her marriage had been, her kids, work, maintaining the house and the financial responsibility. It always fell on her shoulders. She divorced, moved, and was sorta, kinda, speaking up at work, BUT she still felt stuck.

She also found herself hooked on someone from her past, totally impossible to let go of and it made her crazy!

She wanted a relationship, but nothing in her life reflected one coming to her without major struggle. She felt it was too hard, not enough good men and believed she possessed some deep flaw that kept okay ones at a distance! If you met her, you wouldn’t know any of this, because she appeared to have it together!

Her energy was focused on the past guy, while she longed for a real partnership, she would chase after the old one; send him text messages, call him, ask him out and so on. He would respond once in awhile, but her hard work just didn’t yield the results.

Why did she work so hard for nothing? Chasing, tripping and falling down….and then blaming herself for her fatal flaw.

Andrea is in a relationship with someone who does not share her lifestyle, or too much of her life. He is very attentive to his own life, squeezing her in when he has time. She drops everything when he calls and anytime she brings up the state of their relationship he gets angry that she doesn’t understand where he’s at.

To her, he is better than her ex, they have fun when they are together, but she comes up empty when viewing it as a true partnership. She doesn’t feel heard, or seen and has told herself to work harder, be more available and just be patient.

She has worked at it as though it’s her last hope, embodying everything she feels is expected of her and is afraid to let go.

Both women are committed to struggle, but couldn’t see the pattern clearly. They both didn’t feel they deserved better, even though both repeated the sentiment that they deserved so much more quite often!

What about Sheila? She works hard and is successful in her career; she’s never had a real committed relationship as an adult. To others she appears to not need or want one, but to her, no matter what it seems a relationship is elusive, leaving her feeling lonely, isolated and trying to fix other people. Her deepest desire is to get married and yet she chased after her greatest success: her career.

She only knows how to chase after what she wants and has found herself tripping into a bad ending each time she does it in her personal life.

Some of us are in total denial that we want something different than what our life looks life. Fear of wanting more, keeps us from relaxing by allowing ourselves to believe we will receive what we want. Fear makes us feel greedy or that our desires are unattainable.

Fear leads us to chase.

We chase for a variety of reasons:

  • To purposely fall down, proving to ourselves we really can’t have what we want.
  • Go after the wrong people, places and things: It looks acceptable from the judgment of others, but we don’t really want any of it and don’t trust we can have what we REALLY want. Interestingly enough, when chasing what we don’t want, somehow we find ways (unconsciously) to fail, or if outside validation is extremely important we’ll succeed only to suffer a lack of fulfillment.
  • To stay busy.
  • Thinking it will solve the problem of the void within us.

On top of it–it’s a narrow vision, and it can be exhausting to be wrapped up in the intellectual pursuit of the chase. Keeping it narrow, instead of appearing to want more, gives the impression of remaining stationary, so it doesn’t threaten our relationships.

Nature desires more life everyday–it grows. If humanity didn’t want more, we’d all still be living in a cave.

How do you get more into your life without chasing it?

  1. Admit you want more, perhaps different or scary, because it may mean loss.
  2. Become visible. Most of the time if we’re chasing, we don’t have a connection to our deepest desire (not the emptiness or belief something outside of us can solve the problem), because if we did, it means we’d have to stop hiding out.
  3. Time to be available. Many of us are shut down to wanting more or what seems impossible, so we’re unavailable to actually having it. Notice where you have a wall, shield or act in opposition to the deeper desire.
  4. Relax. It’s not time to eat bonbons, but to release going after things a full time job.
  5. Oh yeah, get rid of plan B, and start living Plan A, when you do take inspired action toward what you actually want–it’s never a chase. It is taking small steps forward, in alignment with your real goal. Totally different energy, totally different outcome.
  6. Give yourself validation by building trust that you can take appropriate action for your aspirations. You can do it!

Want some help in learning what you really want and how to have it without force? Schedule a discovery session to see if we would be a good fit!

Gone Bananas!

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Yup, it’s my new favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner. Okay, well maybe not dinner, but it is just a perfect blend of chocolate and banana frozen together for a very satisfying flavor explosion of ecstasy in every bite. Mmmmm, mmmmm GOOD!

This post isn’t really about my one-item smorgasbord. It’s about going bananas! Or something like that.

I woke up today, after having a fun little get together in my backyard last night. I have a very cool fire-pit and wonderful space to entertain. But I am getting off topic here. Where was I? Oh yeah, waking up.

I did my meditation, which is guided, because for me I need something to focus on and I tend to pull them off YouTube, which is great unless you get the commercials about something violent as you’re trying to listen to the birds, and nature.

I spent a leisurely morning trying to figure out a FUN way to write this post. I couldn’t think of one, so I recorded my latest podcast.

You see this blog post is supposed to cover goal-setting. And it just sounded so BORING, that I couldn’t wrap myself around it (I am giving away a real fun worksheet, yes it really is fun–you can download it below). To be even more honest, I have been in a place of HUGE ambivalence and resistance around some of my goals.

Do I really want what I say I want?

Let’s see. I do. Sorta. Well, let’s take one of my goals. I do want a relationship. And then I don’t.

I want one for some amazing reasons, truly I do. But, my ambivalence is in my laziness and my resistance is in the effort to actually make it a big focus in my life. I have a dating coach who has been listening to me dig my heels in about having ease around meeting someone…you know just having him show up on my doorstep (though that could be a bit scary, considering what would you do if someone showed up one day and said “Hi, I’m your new relationship!” LOL)

I love the idea of kismet, just meeting someone out of the blue. It’s happened before, I would love it to happen again.

Anyways, so back to the point of this blog: my resistance and ambivalence to my goal. Here’s the thing. When we (notice I said “WE”)….have a goal, there is bound to be some resistance and ambivalence. And to get clear, it is to determine if the competing issue, as in my case: my laziness to making an effort to go to singles’ parties, show up in places single men might be and continue with my online foray into the wonderful world of dating has a stronger value than my actual deep desire and goal of a happy, healthy relationship.

Of course, this comes after determining if this is an actual goal I want for myself, which it is and I can thank my little worksheet I put together! Yes, you can use it too and figure out if your unreachable goals are really ones you want or get some clarity on what’s standing in the way to get to em’, just click to download. (it’s free)

I know my competing value of laziness was super strong when I discovered it, which would explain my current dating issue (talking to men online and losing interest or not following through, because I made a decision quickly, so I could basically remain in ambivalence.) and as the days have gone by since my dating coach cornered my on my b.s……I am growing less lazy.

I am feeling less resistance and actually started looking around for how I can work at this (with ease) without making it into a second job. I am committed to the desire for a relationship, and that’s the key for everyone. Make sure your commitment to what you want is bigger than all your excuses!

Yes, it really is…just make it a bit bigger than the resistance and stay connected to the journey! Even when you feel a total disconnect, trust yourself to get back in the saddle, because you will, if you really want it! And it’s okay to have days when you have just gone bananas!

Oh and don’t forget to download this free worksheet. It helps!! Really. I figure whatever helps me can help you too.

Click to download, in case you haven’t yet!

The Impact Of Being Honest

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Most of us live in stories.

Heck, as human beings, we love a good story! One we relate to in some fashion, whether it’s our own experiences or something fantastical making the impossible appear real.

The issue with the stories we tell ourselves is their limitations. We may not dare to stretch beyond the confines of it, because it’s scary, or we feel unworthy or somehow undeserving.

And we stay stuck.

I had a multi-nuanced stuck story around dating, just like most of the b.s. we feed ourselves.

I always thought I was different, a bit odd–hard to love. In contrast, even though I was weird, I was special and unique. For years I thought I was perfect (measured in what I gave to others–not because I believed I was amazing), and on the other hand, I felt I was easily discarded and so on.

All the contradiction represents how I had a great deal of it in my self-evaluation. My story stemmed from a place of unworthiness, judging myself harshly (as I used to do); holding everyone and everything to a crazy-ass expectation!

Can you relate?

So… this story around dating.

A deep epiphany: People meet you exactly where you are with yourself.

I saw myself on a past first date. I was engaging, nice, interacting  (Hell! I was in sales for years, I know what to ask.) and usually asked out on a second-date. It was my goal. Make it so they liked me…and then I’d hook em’!

Hahahaaaaaa…I laugh at this image now (I sure wasn’t honest back then)!

The b.s. here: I could show up as emotionally unavailable (It’s exactly where I was, ahem!) and lo’ and behold after the guy was done chasing me….it turned out he was emotionally unavailable too! What a surprise! Not.

That epiphany hit home on a very deep level, people meet you exactly where you are, so the next time you want to finger point, put your finger back in your pocket.

My story was based in fear.

The fear of engulfment, rejection, losing independence, not believing I was lovable (prove it!) and so on. Lying kept me stuck in this vicious circle for years.

I didn’t realize I was lying, it was just the story I always told myself. Until I came to realize how lonely, disappointing and draining it was to live and date this way.

Man, I was so scared!

It’s no wonder I talked myself into half-relationships, or soulmate situations with high drama! Staying in this heightened state of pain with few euphoric moments kept me in the biggest lie! The biggest story I could tell myself, so I was the victim and the heroine at the same time…

And the biggest lie was this is all I deserved.

It was unlike a movie with its romantic drama, it didn’t get tied up in a neat little happy ending!

It was an unraveling leading to an amazing awareness!

Until, I started to accept my b.s. stories around “I’m meant to be alone,” or as a friend said to me years ago,”I think you’re here on a spiritual journey and aren’t meant for a relationship.” (Um, our greatest spiritual lessons come from relationships–staying alone actually keeps us stunted in our comfort zone)

Do you get what I’m throwing down? Do you get our lives are based on our choices, our perspective of ourselves and what we deserve?

As I started working with my dating coach last week, I found I’d already moved into deeper awareness. Just the act of hiring her, committing to me, lead to this epiphany, (it was before my first appointment) something I heard a million times, but never really got emotionally.

The impact of being honest about my past way of dating, lead me to the discovery of choice, empowerment and re-weaving of what I thought was possible for me.

As I took more responsibility for my part and how I acted in fear, I could see the contrast of what is now feasible by trusting myself. Trusting the Universe with my conspiring feelings, lead to my visual: anything is truly possible!

Want to be released from the prison of limitation? Commit to changing your story! Find a way. Allow yourself to question everything.

Perhaps, like me, you’re ready to really do it honestly? Deconstructing the story? Scheduling a discovery session with me can give you insight into whether you’re really available to change or you want to stay stuck in your story a little longer.

Click to book a complimentary discovery session.

Being Real Or Being Numb? Why It Matters.

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Do you ever act or speak in ways to be accepted or looked to as someone who has your shit together?

I mean, having the appearance of being ‘real’? Down to Earth?

For years, people said that of me.

I said that of me too.

It wasn’t true.

Being numb can seem like real or calm to the world, it gives the impression that all is well, until, well, it isn’t.

If a crisis happens, or even better, if someone criticizes you….how do you feel?

Do you feel shame? Are you cringing, as though you’ve finally been found out? Do you do a ‘mental’ scramble to get back in auto-pilot, appear in control?

It’s really a sign of being numb. Numb, numb, numb…until a sharpshooter pierces your veil. Unraveling the ‘real’ disconnection to yourself.

Insulated, in control of all circumstances (it gives the impression of peace/calm), builds a small world. Even if you travel, move residence, buy or sell a company, a car, get in a relationship….or go to yoga, in other words the appearance looks like action….but you still feel bad.

Appearances aren’t the true story.

Being numb means repetition: buy more, sell more, travel more, work more and so on.

Taking you back and forth between calm and anxiety. Calm when all is under control, and anxious when it appears you can’t trust what is happening.

Yup……..

I know this so well. SO WELL.

I journaled this morning, thinking about my recently hiring two different coaches, for two different areas of my life. And how in the past, when I hired someone, I looked to outsmart them! As though, the issue was to prove I was okay, successful, etc, so I could believe help was useless. To appear evolved was more important than my happiness and well-being.

I went to therapy only to be told I was too evolved.

Really?

No way.

I knew I could intelligently explain what was going on with me, speak psychology, but really…I wouldn’t have been sitting in their offices, had I not been suffering from a shit-ton of anxiety.

Being real was NOT happening, there was NO vulnerability.

I intellectually leveled the playing field, so the therapist had no more knowledge or power than me. Crazy right? If I was feeling inferior and wanted to show I was superior, how the fuck could I get help?

It took me a long time (this scenario was over a decade ago) to get it emotionally. The defensive way I stood ground, proving no one could help me. Oh brother!

I looked calm, in charge and connected. I WAS NUMB. Until something out of my control happened. In the form of a relationship or monetary loss, or some security. Anxiety would pull me a long day after day, while I intellectually tried to solve the problem.

Intellectually trying to resolve feelings or emotions makes you numb…there’s a wall inside of you keeping REAL out. It locks out fulfillment, while protecting your stale belief system.

Your world gets smaller. Being real requires emotional risk. Not actions that just look like risk, like quitting your job and moving to a third world country to help people. It requires emotionally being connected to your WHY, to challenging yourself to break open, to breathe, relax, allow, trust, YOURSELF and life.

By smaller, being unaware that your life is HUGE repetition of last year. It’s familiar, you don’t go deep and act from there. Numbness is preferred. REAL possibility doesn’t exist, because you repeat the past.

How is it real? Being numb matters, because YOU never experience life at the level of inner fulfillment.

Being real means non-attachment to outcomes, being emotionally present and stepping into UNLIMITED possibilities! A numb control freak cannot do it.

For me it’s having help, allowing it. So, if I start disregarding advice… I ask: will this help me if I disprove it? Or will I be more fulfilled, successful, happy and so on, allowing a helping hand….by being real and vulnerable?

It matters to live this way. It sparkles! Being real is a flow, it’s a free ride, because the cost of being numb and rigid to old ways is gone. Every time I say YES to help, to emotional risk and listening to my heart–my external circumstances bring more fulfillment–connection.

Want to break out of the numbness? Want an opportunity to really grab onto a shooting star and FEEL amazing? Schedule a discovery session, we can dive into together!

 

The Curse Of Intelligence

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Living in your head, ‘intellectually’ got it all figured out. You know what’s coming, because you get the nuances life has to offer….and know what each situation calls for in response.

It’s not a fun way to live; there’s rare surprises and even rarer variation from the rigidity of holding to the way you do things (and the when). With the complex rule book in your head, you don’t even know why you hold tight, it just seems right.

Yeah…right in your comfort zone.

Right, so nothing can hurt you, get under your skin or perhaps take you off ‘perceived’ balance.

It’s why so many smart people are single or stay in crappy relationships or even have an okay relationship while giving the sheen of a perfect life.

I can relate.

I’m not a dating expert or coach. I’ve been a mix of a love coach (learning to love oneself), empowerment (in control of one’s emotional state) and relationship coach (teaching people it’s within their power to change a relationship or at least have a different experience of it).

I share, it took me a long while to understand where a coach could help me change my life too. I’m very self-aware, intelligent and always looking within, but I still miss so much–obviously, otherwise my life would look different.

I have a business coach. And now, I’m hiring a dating coach. To help me, like I help others to get the flashlight out and shine a light on my intellectualizing, keeping me from getting real, vulnerable and open.

I’ve seen my fear lately.

I see it lurking and I’m starting to unravel this veil. It’s deeper. I’ve worked this area before. Re-visiting the same stuff, in a different way, but once again it’s a deep dive.

Smart people y’all are your own worst enemy trying to control everyone and everything with smoke and mirrors, which aren’t fooling anyone.

Do you ever find yourself intellectualizing others’ emotions?

Or not wanting to have others witness you crying or looking vulnerable? Believing if you appear strong, everything looking good on the outside, that you or anybody else never has to look inside too deeply (The world will assume you’re okay, so they’ll never ask). We can leave the scary monsters alone.

It’s a lonely, empty and unfulfilling place to live. The intellect doesn’t feed you or anyone else emotionally, it keeps you distant.

In my biz, I speak to many individuals appearing to have their shit totally together, by giving the right intellectual answers to the questions (What emotions? What issues? You have none?). Fortunately, for them, I was one of those people too; I call bullshit on it and get deeper–so their lives change.

Point is, we all need help, or we never really move off our dime.

After coming off my own high horse in the realm of seeking help (because I’m very self-aware) if I don’t commit to someone helping me, things will stay the same. Stale. Boring. Predictable and completely cut off from a life I dream about and am now more courageous than afraid to claim.

No thank you to attracting the same kind of guy, that’s a one-way ticket to hell. Yet, I don’t feel bad, or as though I’m fatally flawed, or anything horrible. I just see my reality, and that I’m the common denominator. I’m single and it’s not tragic, BUT I’ve been unable on my own to achieve my aforementioned dream. So, there must be a mental construct buried needing to come to light.

Smart people can stay stuck for years.

Our lives may not be horrible or unmanageable, but we manipulate ourselves into believing the bullshit we feed others, about how we appear to the rest of the world. Buying into our own story will keep us in it for the rest of our lives.

An example of a story, it’s wanting to stay angry, blaming someone else (especially a parent), holding an intellectual wall holding in place, so you don’t have to be vulnerable or be accountable. It’s old protection from being hurt as a child.

That story of another being a bad or good person is part of what those who intellectualize bring into the carefully constructed persona, in essence we victimize ourselves and remain powerless to change it, as long as we stay in our intellect.

Intellectualizing around dating, career, relationships or anything where feeling (our gut) should be in place, will never allow us to deeply connect with the world. Everything remains at the surface and those patterns tougher to break.

Got anxiety? Depression? Stress and feel overwhelmed? Waiting for a dysfunctional situation to be functional?

You’re in your head.

To be in your intellect is to live in a cocoon, to be busy showing everyone you’re okay and that you have all the answers; pushing away anything threatening the image and to feel dreadfully alone (even in a relationship).

It’s such a waste of time, we’re meant to be living LARGE! Emotionally and spiritually connected, getting uncomfortable as we move toward our dreams!

I’ll let you know how my dating coach adventure goes, because I’m committed to change. How about you? Ready for change? If you’re interested in what I offer in taking a deep dive within, please set up a discovery session.

Click here for the appointment.

 

It’s Complicated.

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Why do we human beings complicate the crap out of everything?

  1. We’re bored.
  2. It’s what we know.
  3. We like drama.
  4. We’re not good enough or worthy.
  5. We’re afraid of abandonment.

And so on.

It’s a circle of hell.

I moved this week and even though I’m self-proclaimed as the queen of disorganization, I’m also pretty anal about having things completed and my ducks in a row. It’s how I get to the end result, which was the complicated part.

I decided that I would just ‘let go’ starting with the internet/cable company having their computer call back 8 times in three days, and threatening not to show up on Tuesday, if we didn’t answer the same questions. I would not call the president of Charter Communication (I already had a conversation with him a couple months ago) and just breathe, remaining in a state of ease through the move.

I did call their customer service who didn’t understand why we wouldn’t answer the questions from the phone robot, instead get on board and take care of the issue. The deal is folks, I lived in a world of uptight for years! Years.

I was anal and full of expectations, so do you know what most of my thoughts used to be around? Failure. Other people letting me down, me letting me down and expectations of perfection, which were enough to stress someone out and give them health issues.

I assumed constantly; I looked for problems, always strategizing to solve them before they happened. It’s what can appear to make most of us Type A’s successful, but it also makes us crazy!

I thrived on people handing me a flaming inferno, so I could figure out how to put it out and change the circumstances (in jobs, clients who hated on the company ended up becoming my new best friends), because I over-cared. I took it personally, if shit was not working and this translated to my personal life.

I spent sooooooo much time trying to prove something, fix everything and everyone; my life was complicated with minutia, and it served a purpose (I didn’t know it at the time), so I could do one thing…..avoid myself!

I remained free of criticism or disdain (in my own mind), as long as I was handling everyone else’s shit. I couldn’t be abandoned, I was needed and it was complicated. EVERYTHING was an ordeal; it kept me busy.

Know what I mean?

What’s your biggest problem right now? If it is anything outside of you, then I have news for you…you’re WAITING on someone or something else to change. And that situation or person has your power, as you WAIT for what you want.

Notice how much time you spend assuming, strategizing and looking at the rest of the world as the issue and if he or she or it would only get their shit together!

If you spend any time imagining a variety of scenarios to whatever it is keeping your life complicated, then I have news for you, nothing will change, until you decide YOU are going to change.

My move was significant in terms of other issues showing up and my decision to keep breathing, staying in a place of ease. Where I would normally be uptight, I let it go. I asked myself what good would it do to fight? I no longer had the drive for it!

Life is not so complicated anymore. Relationships which were complicated are gone–my thinking around them gone. In fact, the realization on a deeper level of what real connection is and is not has floored me. Even clearer is the old way of moving at lightening speed created from the complicated scenarios in my head have fallen away too.

All the years of impossible to-do lists and the feeling of emptiness around their fulfillment is gone. In fact, if I find myself starting to go down the OLD road, I immediately stop. No thank you.

To desire ease in your life is one thing, to actually live into it and the simplicity it brings is another thing.

Being in a state of ease means allowing, connecting, and trusting. 

Allowing yourself time, space and the peace to receive help, opportunity and clarity. Slowing down and having awareness when you start to automatically speed up, why are you doing it? What complicated crap is rolling around in your brain? (Remember 90% of our thoughts are repeated daily)

What problems were resolved and you now feel a state of limbo or stress, as though you don’t know what to focus on, is it complicating your thinking?

Allowing yourself the internal space to breathe and just focus on creation from your heart (not your head) is hard to do, if you’re not used to it. You may talk about letting your heart lead, but what are all the excuses you have as to why you cannot?

To maintain a state of allowing is not to sit back and eat bon bons, it is to participate, place effort daily and allow others to show up. It also means letting go of perceived control and never feeling bored again.

Connecting to yourself means you know what you want, how you really feel and not hiding from your own truth. I guarantee once you start living this way, your whole life simplifies, you’re no longer trying to please or outthink anyone else. You do things deliberately without holding onto the outcome.

The connection to yourself takes courage, because fear has a loud voice–so any time you notice all sorts of voices in your head telling you WHY you cannot do something, tell them to shut up and focus in your heart, your gut…listen for the answers from your inner wisdom, and get uncomfortable. Real uncomfortable.

You are leaving what you knew for the promised land.

Once you see yourself from a place of truth, all the complicated thoughts cease. You stop over-caring about their existence and the meaning you gave to them about your self-worth. You connect to your true value. Drama becomes boring.

Trusting from the inside out is an act of compassion, vulnerability and love. If you allow yourself to relax, to say okay to the unfamiliar and trust yourself when you make decisions from your inner wisdom, miracles happen.

Second guessing, and strategizing are no longer appropriate. You roll with the waves, you don’t play victim or have crazy-ass expectations. You trust in yourself, a higher power and life… that it really will all be okay. It’s understanding your control is really inside of you not on the outside and trusting ease.

Ease only comes when we’re willing to participate in the flow of life, instead of standing on the outside of it, complicating every situation, so we have stuff to roll around in our heads and believing it’s entertainment or our life wouldn’t have meaning without it.

Need some help moving into ease, please schedule a complimentary discovery session with me and find out how you’re blocking your own good time.

 

Why Lack Matters.

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Ever pay attention to your thoughts and accompanying feelings during your day? Perhaps, hearing certain ones over and over; along with the same feelings, over and over too?

Stick with em’ and really listen to their force, diction and feeling, often there’s lack at the base.

“I can’t do that”

“I can’t have that”

“I am not enough or good enough”

“It’s impossible”

“This is it, there ain’t no more”

And so on.

Noticing the majority of our thoughts as repetitive and imaginably, centered on lack and limitation; it colors our present and future. Reminding us of how we not only don’t deserve more, but apparently life appears to work against us.

In looking back on my life, the events where I felt burdened, heavy, angry and just plain sad–were generated by my thoughts and feelings; it created my perspective. I couldn’t help myself. I remember saying hopeless words to myself while trying to dress up a pile of shit, into a fashion model.

Excuses, blame, and inertia go together. It can fool us into thinking this is it! We’re unable to move toward fulfillment. If “Life is hard” is truth, we create it and should ask, “what am I afraid of having happen?”

Leaving the unfulfilling known hardship, because the known misery is safer than the unknown, is frightening!

Just as the statement “life is great” is only truth, if we create it.

Notice the lack inside of us causes us to focus on lack outside of us; it’s a reflection. But, we don’t see it as a reflection, we see it as a prison.

If you read my posts or listen to my radio show, I speak to the power within us. It’s a disservice buying into the belief(s) around lack, and remaining afraid of doing something different.

Recently, I signed up to work with a business coach; deep inside me I knew two things.

First, unless I did something different my business would always be the same and it scared me; it was a limiting thought, because of where I WANT to go. The second reason was I needed the discomfort of the unknown; not just listening to my coach, but trusting I would enact her words…believing in myself, I could do it!

It took me understanding no one was going to wave a magic wand and my life would change. It had nothing to do with change in others or my outer circumstances. I had to release what was steering my ship toward unnecessary rough waters.

Most of us have an iron grip on our daily routines holding on for dear life; it’s familiar! Wake up, go to work or do yoga or walk the dog or __________, work more, come home, then what?

As much as we state we’re miserable, we can’t give up the confines of our day, by doing something different. Nope, we like to face the same challenges, over and over.

But……What if? We find expansion in life? Possibility? Freedom, excitement, creativity, passion and love?

Moving out of lack, impossibilities or let’s call it what it is….fear, we’re so insignificant, so undeserving and doomed to fail, lose or fall down, by believing our authentic truth….that we stop.

We DO NOT trust ourselves.

I’ve spoken with amazingly creative people and yet, they don’t paint, dance, write or draw.

I’ve spoken with people in dysfunctional relationships (mainly with themselves) and they stay put, afraid of what change will bring.

I’ve spoken with people who say they must sacrifice and yet never arrive–because they only know struggle and sacrifice.

I’ve spoken with people afraid to express what’s deep within them, instead continuing with a life of quiet desperation.

And so on.

Lack parades inside of us with many disguises; making it hard to locate, unless we purposefully listen.

Taking those false thoughts around limitation, getting momentarily uncomfortable and advancing from lack to abundance requires courage. So, the artist picks up his or her brush, the person stuck in dysfunction realizes he or she is never really alone, he or she speaks the impacted words knowing true relief and those who sacrifice realize they can focus not on ‘less’ but more, reflecting their own inner trust.

Don’t let the lack in your head keep you stuck, trust your gut and your joy to move you. If you’d like to discover how ready you are to move into abundance, schedule a complimentary discovery session with me.