The Mystery Of Synchronicity

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How are you?

Me?

I’ve been in the midst of a growth spurt in my perspective, spirituality and old emotional limitations.

It means hunkering down, as I follow the flow of my energy and pay attention to where I’m to focus intuitively rather than where I would normally spend my time. Meaning, I tend to spend a great deal of my free time with myself–reading, meditating, writing, letting go of blocks (including pain), and working with other people who guide me to see what I cannot see in myself.

The more I stay connected, the more abundant I feel within, and the result is amazing change in all parts of my life. Stories which blow my heart and soul!

Recently I purchased a couple of courses for the purpose of up-leveling my energy in the area of abundance (one topic I struggled with for YEARS!).

The course isn’t something I would recommend, though I share it because of a couple funny, synchronistic surprises that surfaced yesterday.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

When it comes to synchronicity, I look at events and words spoken by others. I stopped searching for signposts in the form of billboards, license plates, discarded trash or anything else which I would try to forcefully derive meaning from.

Sometimes we are looking for excuses to stay where we are and can interpret all sorts of signs in and around us.

In the case of the funny little surprises yesterday, it started when one of the questions in the course wanted me to recognize where synchronicity showed up in my life. Asking if certain number combinations showed up, such as the ones mentioned by the authors as 111. For them personally, this number combo was validation, they were in a place of total alignment in their lives.

I used to look at the clock at exactly 10:13, my birth date, but its been a long time since I noticed… along with 11:11 or any other number combinations.

I sat there scratching my head and thinking about possibilities. There was the sleeping homeless guy I left a bottle of water for and wondered if he got it when he woke up. I asked my higher power for confirmation, which I received, in a way, which raised the hair on my neck, because it was pretty cool.

I notice when I don’t force things, everything I need shows up in a timely manner… but could I say anything else about synchronicity right now? Hmmm.

I happened to be driving on the freeway yesterday and noticed a Uhaul (I’m in the midst of house hunting), and an illustration on the side of it stated “Baffin Islands”…I thought to myself, that’s weird!

I’ve been reading The Science of Getting Rich over and over for the past six months. On those pages (which I read earlier in the day) was a reference to Baffin Bay, which I had never heard of prior to reading this book. I felt that moment of yes, I’m on the right path, headed in the right direction and will be moving where I want (um… not to Greenland, which is where Baffin Bay is located).

I could be stretching, but this was so in my consciousness that intuitively I knew it was a sign.

Later that night, as I was driving home from a friend’s home, I happened to look down at my dashboard and realized the humor of the Universe. My Acura (the first car I’ve paid off and held onto without trading it in) hit the mileage 111,111. Yup! It was the numbers in the coursework assignment, which the authors loved… times two! Not sure of the meaning for myself, except knowing where I am and what I’m doing are exactly where I am supposed to be now.

So…synchronicity. It’s the meaning you give it. Sometimes it is an unmistakable, in-your-face sign and other times it is only a subtle confirmation that you’re headed where you want to go. Now and in the future.

Do you ever look at the clock when it’s your birthday, or see other numbers appear over and over again? Do you assign meaning to it, or just shrug it off as a coincidence? Please share in the comments!

 

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5 Ways To Empower Your Life For The Better

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Relationships rule our lives.

We may get out of bed each morning, dreading interaction with someone during our upcoming day. We may spend time ruminating over the negative feelings and feel uninspired to believe we can actually change something in the communication or our feelings toward them.

Thinking of the “what ifs,” can disempower us from making any decisions in our daily lives and therefore, we can stay stuck in a monotonous circle.

The only power to change anything in our lives resides within us and requires a shift in our perception of reality. How easy is it to do?

It is only through our deepest desire that we can sustain the energy it takes to empower our relationships and our lives.

Wanting to empower ourselves for a better life takes the following:

Step #1: It takes commitment; we must first understand our level of deserving, before we can truly commit to the process of creating a better life. If we do not feel deep inside (based on our beliefs) that we deserve more than settling or struggle, we need to be aware that we’re in a state of resistance to good ‘easily’ coming our way.

Step #2: It’s not all about us. The thoughts in our head rarely have anything to do with another person’s perception of reality. We assume, we know their intention and why they do what they do, but in reality we don’t and we never will…. even if they tell us.

Why is this the case?

Think about how often our mind changes, how skewed our intention can be from one minute to the next, when emotions influence many of our thoughts. Many people lack the self-awareness to understand that half the stories they tell themselves are b.s. and the individuals with self-awareness need to understand that assuming anything about anyone is just a way of avoiding ourselves.

Step #3: Take responsibility for all thoughts and actions we initiate. This means we have control over our lives, when we place blame outside of us, we become a victim who doesn’t have the tools to ‘create’, because there is always something stopping us. Freeing ourselves from what we try to manipulate or blame will result in an opening of our heart and mind to possibilities (rather than living in the belief that what we want is impossible).

Step #4: Get clear on what we actually want. This comes from knowing who we are, which is actually a question most people cannot answer about themselves. Many of us have been conditioned to believe we are someone else, through whatever strategies we identified with as a matter of survival or gaining attention as a child. We have forgotten what we actually love, where our joy is ignited and may not trust the desires we have are nothing more than a passing fancy.

Showing up in all parts of our lives as the same person, rather than in different roles to suit the player, will bring about a dynamic potency to our vision. The clearer our intention, the better our life will become.

Step #5: Be in the present moment. Not only do we need to know who we are, so we can be clear on what we want…we must also bring our entire selves into the moment. When we’re checked out, we are not empowered and we’re not actually engaged in what we’re doing, how we’re interacting and therefore unable to feel connected.

Removing the compartments and accepting what currently ‘is’ in our lives will allow us to be authentic, to make decisions from a clear, connected and centered place within us. It gives us the opportunity to empower ourselves with our action, words and choices in the current moment—when we are “wholly” present.

Power of Gratitude V

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Sometimes I hear, “Have an Attitude of Gratitude,” with the purpose of helping me manifest what I want; have more peace, feel more open and overall, less frustrated with my current lot in life.

And at those times, when I’m most frustrated, I find it difficult to really step out of my comfort zone with it’s revolving thoughts! It’s a merry-go-round in my head! Trying to figure out why, I’m stuck in a place once again, in which, I’ve visited many times, over several years.

Now most people can relate to frustration being a difficult emotion to step out of and stop, cold turkey.

There is a certain comfort to old thoughts and lashing out at the Universe, as to why things are once again headed in an unwelcome direction. I know, because I’ve found it the most challenging time to have any gratitude for anything.

Most negative emotions can wrap us up in their clutches, making it feel impossible to be released.

We don’t get relief, so easily as to just say words of gratitude, oh no! It’s the same thing with positive affirmations, even if the words come out of our mouth, does it match our truth? Does it match our energy, our intention, our feelings?

Just saying words with no real meaning attached to it, gives us no power. It keeps us powerless, especially if the force of our anger or unhappiness is behind it.

In some of my more recent challenges, the ones, which I didn’t understand their significance or reoccurrence, I discovered something new. I came to understand my value.

People can say how wonderful we are, they can slather us in praise, and we can even look in the mirror and say, “Hmmm…not bad,” but these sentiments are not necessarily indicative of how we value ourselves.

In the past, I believed I had to work super hard to get value. I also believed that everything in my life had happened as either a reflection of me or that it was a lesson I wasn’t getting! This trifecta of thoughts would come up every time a past result, seemed to be my present outcome. I’d think of how I handled it differently, how I acted differently and how I thought differently, so how could this possibly be happening?

It dawned on me one day.

Deep inside, I felt, I did not deserve my circumstances, that in this particular event, I embraced my value. I saw where I was responsible, where I had done everything I could think of and it still had poor results. This was not a reflection of me at all. I stopped beating myself up with those recurring thoughts and felt peace.

And what does this have to do with the power of gratitude?

In the realization of my own value, came an opening. All the responsibility I carried for the external circumstances, the outcome, of all that occurred, had dropped from my shoulders. The barriers of blame, I held against the Universe and myself started to crumble. I was able to feel my way into gratitude.

Gratitude is about the present moment, not the future. When it comes to being personally-empowered, all we can be connected to in the mind, body, spirit department is now.

We can be grateful for what is and where we are today. When we value ourselves, our gratitude is clearer and less tinged with what we don’t have in the moment.

If we take a few minutes to really look at a situation, in which we’re held hostage and feel gratitude is the last place we can actually touch, it’s important to stop for a second and ask ourselves, “Have I done everything, I believe can be done in this situation, with the knowledge I have right now?” If the answer is yes, (and it usually is when we’re frustrated), then seeing where we’re applying unnecessary pressure on ourselves for the present situation to be different is key.

Where does that come from?

Once we see why we need the validation of a situation to turn out right, we can gain clarity on our actions and our value. Once we really start honoring our value, we can feel grateful for exactly what is in our lives. We can look at the frustrating situation and know that it’s teaching us gratitude. It’s taught us that there is freedom from the murkiness of believing life has done us wrong, or we’re wrong.

I can be grateful right now for all that is in my life. It allows me to be accepting, and not in such a hurry. I can look at the past and feel thankful for the experiences, which have brought to the place of value I feel in myself.

The power of true gratitude is a feeling of softening, because it connects us to a greater source than ourselves. We’re not so worried and caught up in what might never happen.

Gratitude allows us to connect to our creativity. When we are in this space of freedom, connecting to the creative within us, it opens a door to new thought. We gain a new approach and an opportunity to lessen the intensity of our circumstances, enough so, that our actions coming from gratitude can lead us to a completely different place than we are today.

Thanking every experience and person, past or present for their contribution to helping us discover our true value, places us squarely in an empowered space.

Links to the four other posts in this series:

The Power Of Presence

The Power Of Balance

The Power of Abundance

The Power of Insecurities

 

 

Eating, Playing, Being and Orgasms

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Lately, orgasms have been a focal point in my writing. Let me preface it with, I can only speak from my experience as a woman.

It’s not the sexual act of having an orgasm as to what I’m clearly addressing today. How about the value of an orgasm as it relates to “being present,” and “having the life we want.”

If we’re fully present and engaged in an activity; eating, playing, working, having sex or even just being, etc. we have a different experience of ourselves and the world.

BEING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT IS KEY TO FULFILLING SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS.

I use the word authenticity when describing living life on our terms and the ability to have an earth-shaking orgasm. Ya Ya!

Authenticity is who we truly are, beneath all the bullshit we tell ourselves we are or should be. It’s the truth; it’s the voice we often ignore, because it means we have to change what we’re doing, how we spend our time and perhaps, who we spend our time with too.

As an example, I’ve a client who is afraid to let go of her marriage. It is dead and over, they live in the same house, but there is no desire to work on things or come together, on either part. She has ignored her inner voice for years, telling her to move on. She lived with excuses; other people and their “possible,” opinions seemed to matter more than her happiness. She’s still waiting for someone else to come and rescue her, or hoping her estranged husband will find someone else, or that some HUGE sign will show up, telling her now is the right time to go. None of this has happened and will more than likely not happen, she is being pushed to stand for her own life.

She has ignored that voice, her authentic truth….and her chance, to so far, live an amazing existence….and she’s missing out on amazing orgasms too!!!

Think I’m kidding?

How can you have an amazing climax, when only part of you is present to do it? You can have an orgasm, but to have that fantastic out of this world experience…it’s equal parts mind, body and soul.

If you’re missing one, your life and your orgasms are lacking.

How many of us do this in different parts of our lives? And how many of us can truly let go of who we are not and be at our most open, vulnerable and raw state to experience life or sex?

To have what we want and create the life we deeply desire, it requires openness to ourselves first.

We must be connected to the TRUTH of what we want, not all the excuses that hold us back. When we have that unity in our mind, body and soul, it’s our most creative state to match to the unseen and create our reality.

We can also have a damn good orgasm.

I know when I’m in the state of building up to an orgasm, all of the molecules in my body are engaged, as is my spirit and my mind. It is a super intense focus!! Now, imagine creating our lives with that love, sensuality, joy and fun!!  And imagine the outcome being a climax, except this one doesn’t end.

When I am doing what I love and being true to myself, I wake up giddy in the morning!!

I practice self-care, my life is more in balance and it’s pretty orgasmic! When I’m working at something, which drains me, because I am afraid to lose the money or I’m in the company of people only because I am afraid to be alone…..I am disconnected. I am in fear. And sex…..um yeah….

Fear stands in the way of orgasms.

If we want to live a FULFILLING life, whether we’re just hanging out, spending time alone, working, exercising, eating, etc….we must be fully present. To be fully present requires us to be connected with all parts of ourselves. When we’re in fear this does not happen, we are only operating with a part of ourselves and denying the rest of us liberation.

Fear keeps us limited. So, shuck the fear, get in the flow. There’s a whole other way to live this life starting with BE HERE, NOW.

If orgasms are far and few between or life feels like a flat line, please contact me, I can help!

Please click here: Tracy@Tracycrossley.com

Want to feel like a Winner? Stop Competing.

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In my early twenties, my career was in sales.

I hated the thought of it, cuz my warped idea of sales was like a used-car salesman: fake and conning people into something they didn’t want. 

In sales, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing! My entire focus was on getting through a call or dealing with rejection, so the thought of competition with others was a foreign concept.

I intuitively knew back then, competing with others never brings us fulfilling success.

We may temporarily feel like the king or queen of the mountain, when we win, but it quickly fades. We need something else to fulfill the ego, the emptiness and tell us we’re okay.

In sales and later sales management, my focus was never on the competition.

It wasn’t because I was without ego, it was because I was competing with myself to be MY best.

Whenever someone complemented my ability to bring in clients from cold calls or land accounts that those around me deemed impossible….I didn’t feel good, I’d become afraid.

My first thought: “How will I sustain this? I will surely fail.”

My fear was letting ME down, because someone had recognized I did something well. I was so afraid of future criticism about failing, it spurred me for years!

I never felt like a winner.

I landed large accounts and would do the impossible, all while blocking out what others in my business would do…no comparing, no topping, no nothing….the thought of looking at someone else’s techniques or copying their way of selling, overwhelmed me. It just seemed to make it harder. 

When I got into coaching, it was accidental (which is a story for another day)…and my classmates there, said I had a natural talent for it! That scared me! Oh shit, now I had crazy-ass expectations of me.

Whenever we compare….whether it’s to ourselves and our own expectations… or to another….we take our joy away. The last thing we’ll feel like is a winner in the long run. Instead, we’ll find more ways to believe we must keep up, copy someone else or beat them up (and ourselves in the process).

Intuitively, I went within, I didn’t look at anyone else. I incorporated my psychic work into my coaching….and for a long time I had no website, it was all in-person. When I started to invest in marketing myself, I looked at the competition and that feeling of overwhelm returned.

Everyone else looked so successful and I had nothing to COMPARE TO…LOL, NOTHING!

It made me GULP; I started comparing what they did and what I did. The horrible expectations and comparisons I already had going on inside me, were let loose!

What did I find in this comparison hell? Nothing, but… pain.

How did I figure a WINNING solution? How did I shut up the critic in my head?

1. I went cold turkey, no paying attention to what everyone else was doing.

It never feels good. It’s never fulfilling. It feels like shit and besides that, if there was a true formula for success, wouldn’t we all be able to do an exact copy and re-create the success?

2. Focused on my joy.

Whether I succeed or fail externally had to be put aside, when that’s the focus we’re strung out, stressed out and criticizing the crap out of our every move. Re-focus on what allows passionate engagement.

3. Believing in my own way of success.

Trusting the intuitive rather than playing ping pong in my head, means being more in the moment and engaged daily in what I do. Creating by taking action and not focusing on it’s success, will naturally lead us toward success or realizing we need to change something.

4. Kindness

I’m human, we all are…being kind to ourselves as we smack into our limited thinking, fears and other crap, not to mention external obstacles FEELS WAY BETTER than mentally beating ourselves up. Shit will happen….the best we can do is not personalize and keep doing number 2.

Need more help with it, contact me to develop your own winning way of living!

Do You Project Failure?

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Often, we approach things with an attitude of CAN DO, when it comes to our goals. We say we’re going for it….and yet, how in alignment are our actions with the goal we want to achieve?

Sometimes, we have a goal that we think everyone will approve of and yet, we’re not really all that high on it!

And other times, even if we consciously believe we can get to the goal…our subconscious projects failure. Have you ever had that happen? Me too.

It sucks, because we start off with a CAN DO attitude and run into a problem, then we allow that problem to consume us or stop us. The reason the problem becomes an obstacle is our subconscious places it there…it projects it outwards.

Our subconscious is used to running the show, undercover. It learned about our place in the world at a very young age, it has been setting up our limitations ever since…and so, when we go beyond our current capacity, we receive pushback from our subconscious. It finds ways to make us stop; it’s how we sabotage ourselves.

I posted a quote on my FB page yesterday, “Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~Carl Jung

And until we really gain some clarity, about our thoughts and behaviors, we will continue to stay in a loop….always finding the same issues and never moving past them.

I remember sitting with a crappy feeling recently, it was in relationship to another change I was making, I realized my feeling this way was an indication of the resistance my subconscious was creating to try and keep me safe (and unhappy). Our subconscious operates on these patterns, because it is protecting us.

We give so much meaning to these feelings of resistance that we go out and create failure to support them! Watch how your behavior aligns with those cruddy feelings….and the sense of relief you get when you fail. Seriously, there is a sense of relief that now you’re off the hook. On the other hand, it gives you more ammunition to not rise back up and go forth toward your goal…

The key is to place awareness on the feelings of resistance, realize your subconscious will look for things in your environment to become an obstacle to your goal…it looks for the familiar and that’s where your focus will be…it’ll be on “this always happens” or “nothing looks different,” even though I am working my ass off! That is YOUR subconscious, it’s an illusion…all you have to do is get clear on this…see it, know it and then in spite of what it looks like…GO FORTH!

When we reach new levels of change with ourselves, we must understand there will be new ceilings to bust through, it is an ongoing process, because our subconscious will always look for what is familiar, safe and keep us stuck there as long as we allow it….AND…

If we have goals that we don’t want, but someone told us would be good for us…this can keep us in a place of PURPOSELY projecting obstacles into our path. Looking at our goals and getting clear on if we want them or we’re just trying to do what is expected will allow us to come to a choice. When we come to the choice, just be aware that if we’re used to pleasing everyone else….it’ll feel like a HUGE resistance to actually go against the “expectation,” but when we do…we’re really forging our own road to happiness.

Want happiness, freedom, success? Abundance? Start placing awareness inside of yourself…pay attention and see how your thoughts, feelings and behaviors end up in your life….all around you. What we do in one area, we usually do in another area!

If you would like to get out of your own way and want some help getting there, please email me, I am here to help. Tracy AT Tracycrossley dot com

What I know about Manifesting A House or Anything…

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I’ve manifested things, big and small. And so have you!

Usually without committing to it, in fact I really didn’t pay attention for a long time. I realized certain things came easily and others…well, they were a bit more difficult.

When I started on my journey of self-realization and inner peace, I didn’t know it meant loss, gains and a complete shift of awareness and consciousness.

Through the losses, I realized I had become complacent. I started believing scarcity was my birthright. Somehow I decided to live with “less than” in all areas of my life.

As I became clearer on this “complacency,” and started to make choices from a place of loving myself, many things and people changed in my life.

About the house.

Along the way, I learned how to manifest with purpose, but being human, one can still doubt one’s abilities, right?

We can also make it a challenge rather than simple and easily.

I connected to universal power, it was a simple and difficult process in bringing this house to me.

I had to learn to be in alignment with what I asked for…if I said simple and easy ways, then I need to allow for “simple and easy.”

What did I use? Affirmations, intentions, shifting my ability to believe constantly, participating and surrendering.

I’ve never been big on affirmations as the way to go until recently, because I know NOW there’s a bigger purpose in using them.

Often, we say them a few times, then we start to feel funky. They just don’t fit…and the discovery is we get to see exactly where we feel unworthy or stuck. It unveils us to ourselves.

The same thing happens with intentions, we begin to question our own value in deserving what we ask for and …. if we get it, can we handle it?

Please know, it’s okay to experience all of this and still get what we ask for, BUT….when we ask, we must ask a quality question or an intention that is well-worded–so it’s clear.

In the process of asking, we must lift our wealth consciousness. We must move toward unlimited possibilities rather than looking back.

Wealth goes beyond money–wealth in every part of our life. Observe where we feel we don’t deserve wealth and why? GET CLEAR, we usually WANT what is beyond the comfort of our own value…so it matters “where we are” in receiving it.

It cannot come from the lack, it must come from already feeling like life is good and abundant, because in reality it is…we’re the only ones which cut ourselves off from source.

So…the house. I asked the Universe to “please bring the perfect place for me simply and easily.” I had an idea in my mind of what size, shape and look the place had…but I was open to the Universe bringing it…well… sort of. 

I saw the first house…and loved it!

I had to have it, so perfect for my business and life. I among 10 other people, put in applications. When I had looked at the place the owner was there trying to find her cat…she left….and who showed up? The cat. I found the cat. I was walking to leave and the owner drove by, I told her I put her cat in the house. Was it a sign? Nope…I didn’t get the house.

Bummed and doubting.

The second house. I heard from an agent who called 10 minutes after I let go of control of needing to find the place NOW. I thought…hmmm, this must be it! I saw it and it was awesome too. Interestingly enough had the same layout as the first……way too many applicants, no word for 2 weeks …and I, again didn’t get the house.

More bummed, til I saw house #3.

This had to be it!!!! I called…I said I wanted the house sight unseen (And so far, simple and easy were missing from my vocabulary) I emailed, texted, I hit it off with the current tenants! I wanted this house, perfection!!! It was mine in my mind’s eye…until it wasn’t. They took it off the market.

Bummed for a moment and then I decided to get real.

I had asked myself all along if this was simple and easy (NO), so I decided to really ALLOW myself to participate (by looking) and let the rest take care of itself.

I found two houses that day, I was totally relaxed in finding the right fit.

The first house was in a city I wanted, but not a desirable street (and the same layout as the other three). And the second one, was in an area I had moved out of…did I want to move back (same layout as the other 4)?

I liked many things about house number 5, but after my experience with the other 3 (I didn’t do anything with house #4)…I contacted the owner….sent her everything on me, short of my blood type and figured whatever happens, happens.

Right away, I told my Mom, I knew I would get it! The owner called me a few minutes later…and was so excited to have me as a tenant. Plus, what I do for a living is something she is interested in learning more about…

Here’s the thing, when I actually STUCK TO what I STATED as my intention…it worked. Intention clear, my actions supported it and voila … the house is for me!

We can manifest anything this way…it’s easy, really. BE SPECIFIC AND MATCH YOUR ENERGY AND ACTIONS TO IT AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.