Don’t Change To Find Love


We all have the same potential for love, but some of us think our path is more difficult in getting to that loving relationship than it is for others.

We just need to find our fatal flaw.

When I started coaching, I was told to take on three free clients, so I could do my practicum. Being the overachiever I was (past tense), I took on four people. This of course was in the middle of me losing everything around me, except my health (Extremely thankful to have that!!).

At the time, I was not sure about the whole coaching thing, but I had committed to taking them through 8 weeks of becoming unburdened, clearer and less hindered by old beliefs. Basically, it was about them seeing their patterns, so they could stop sabotaging their efforts in love.

Out of the four people, two are now married. Was it our time together that did it? Perhaps. 

I tend to believe in fate somewhat, which means I also believe there is a timing to things too.

The reason I am writing this is, I am soooooooo over all the claims that if you just “do this one thing,” or follow what was successful for someone else, you too will be sauntering down the aisle.”

Change who you are and the pearl in the oyster is yours to claim!

Getting to “I do,” first off is not a promise of happily ever after and honestly…..people getting married are no different than you or me. No one has the magic key to an honest, healthy and happy relationship. It’s a process of stepping forth, sideways and backwards; stumbling a lot…perfection is not the key to happiness.

No one is the same, so how could it be a one-size fits all formula?

As a psychic, most people come to me about their love life. As in will they have one?  Or will their current relationship improve or is everyone doomed to a house full of cats and warm milk to keep them company?

People in and out of relationships can come from scarcity or abundance, people want what they believe they cannot have…whether they can or not has nothing to do with reality.

It comes down to the “why” of our belief and to being genuinely open. We can be insecure, needy, even crazy and have a relationship. In essence, everyone can have a love relationship!

Haven’t we all heard people say, “I wasn’t looking and then he/she came into my life,” or “I gave up on love and boom it happened!” Or even better… I redid my whole house with Feng Shui, lit candles every night and stared at my visionboard and one day he/she appeared.”

I visualized a man for a long time, never focused on what he looked like, but what he might feel like…and then I would stop, as no one appeared. I could visualize other areas of my life and I would see a change in opportunities showing up as reality.

I randomly started a visualization recently;  this time I stopped myself to ask why I was doing it…was I sending a smoke signal to the Universe to deliver a man? Nope. For the first time, I realized I was coming from within, I really wanted a partnership in my life, as I am. Just me.

And so, the following list contains some truths about being ready for love:

1. You can accept yourself, but even if you don’t, love can still find you.

2. If you’re an introvert or an extravert, it doesn’t matter, love can still find you.

3. Again you can be needy, insecure and downright bratty at times…and love can still find you.

4. Your weirdness is your special gift, embrace it and love can still find you.

5. Stop listening to every guru (or crazy standard in your head) who tells you to look or act a certain way and love will definitely find you. Someone will not fall in love with you for your new dress or hairstyle. (perhaps they’ll like the confidence with it?)


Psssst…it’s the key to confidence.

I recommend the following tips to make it easier on YOU in the process:

  1. Embrace either your masculinity or your femininity. Not because someone will magically appear, but life is easier, you shift when you start embracing this energetic essence in yourself.
  2. Make mistakes. Date. Don’t date.
  3. Find your joy, life is a whole lot better if you do something to please yourself daily. You will feel the wind dance and freedom like you never knew from limitation.
  4. Grow your communication skills, it makes rocky roads smoother.
  5. Self-awareness, self-worth, self-stuff period leads to a better quality of life, so if you love yourself (and yes, certain moments you may still hate yourself), you gain more inner peace and that is a lovely quality to bring to all of your relationships.

If you hold the door open to love, and getting out of your comfort zone to allow growth, then love will come (you can be closed and someone may come–but they will probably match you in being closed in some way too). It isn’t a grand gesture or proclamation. Remember relationships are our greatest teacher and when we’re ready for growth, I believe the partner shows up!


One thought on “Don’t Change To Find Love

  1. If people are honest with themselves and read this, hopefully they will see the truth in these words and allow themselves to find love if only for themselves.

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