What’s Your Weirdness EQ?

Everyone is weird.

We’ve all heard that in so many quotes that have surfaced, right?

dr-suess

Most people cringe when they think of how being weird might negatively affect them. What is a weirdness EQ? It’s your ability to emotionally handle your weirdness!

Yes, I made it up, but wouldn’t that be cool if there was a Weirdness EQ? Emotionally aware and accepting of your little quirks?

Hiding weirdness is a social disease; it ain’t got nothing to do with reality. In reality being human makes us weird. It makes us different and therefore it can make us lovable.

I owned a wonderful façade for years, which wouldn’t allow my weirdness to show.

But now… I’m a super freak! How about you?

My sense of humor runs the gamut of really disgusting to slapstick. My likes and dislikes show me how much I don’t fit into the mainstream. And I’m quite all right with not being PC.

Most of us want to appear normal so we’re not abandoned. It also means working at jobs which we hate or don’t suit us in the least. We may be depressed and not know why. For those of us that have felt different, we may think we always look weird (as though it stands out before we walk in the door) and that makes us uncomfortable.

We hope nobody can tell.

I’m not talking about acting goofy or childish, which is fun! I’m talking about just the weird things were drawn to and how we express ourselves. If you’re like me, you’re the curious type. Being curious about most things, which might be completely unacceptable to others, can make you appear weird.

But, weirdness is where I bond.

Before I connect with somebody else, a guru, a mentor or friend, I make sure they’ve actually shared characteristics about themselves which show they’re weird or unique–something which means they’re human. Think about the multitudes on Facebook who share shiny inspirational messages, but hide out in not showing themselves. There’s no sign of life or weirdness and I find it hard to follow–it’s boring and in the end, not inspirational.

I want to know the reality of the life of the person who is posting a meme or even speaking to me in private. I say let your uniqueness show. Isn’t that where we all connect?

What about doing work or being in a relationship where we hide qualities we think might be threatening to other people?

What if you’re the CEO of the company and you can’t stand showing up for work each day? But you want it to appear that you’re happy and successful so nobody really knows how much you suffer. We all help one another when we let our weird show. Anybody who is threatened by it is actually threatened by their own weirdness. One small caveat–just cuz you embrace your weird, doesn’t mean you should use it as a form of torture on others who may not share your view.

Being weird is a human tradition. Isn’t it what all great comedies are based on to some degree? The ability to laugh at yourself, but to also embrace your weird, because that bit of uniqueness could be the missing ingredient to your creating a life based on real happiness.

I came up with this list of questions, weirdly random. I answered them, so now it’s your turn. I’d love for you to do it in the comments below!

Have you ever danced in the rain? Yes and had mud-fights too.

What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? I can’t see! What day is it? I don’t remember this hole in my pajamas! Is this where I wanted to wake up…. where’s my coffee!?

If you could be any age for a week, what would it be and why? I think I’d be three or four. I want to play in a carefree way, with no responsibility. My sole goal is to get up and play… and take a nap. Yup, that would be fun!

Have you ever eaten a crayon or glue? I have eaten paste as a child. I think I may have munched on some crayons too.

Do you talk to yourself? Yes, and I sing to myself too.

Do you know your heritage? It’s actually ‘weirdly’ interesting and too long to share here.

What was a weird thing you did as a teenager? Drove with my friends in search of an infamous midget village in Long Beach. We combed the streets looking for this fabled land where everything was supposed to be small. Reminds me of the time I went snipe hunting.

I am sure there are more, but this is all I can remember right now.

Most bizarre talent? Hmmmm…touching my tongue to my nose or chin? I used to be able to burp many letters of the alphabet!

What is one thing you believe right now, you would never do on purpose? Skydive!

Ok… your turn!

Would you like another round?

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This has been a year of reinvention for me, how about you?

I notice it in major ways (especially when loss is associated with it) and in smaller ways, where I come up against my old people pleasing skills.
 
For instance, I went on a hike this weekend (like I do most weekends) with my daughter out in Santa Monica.
Afterwards, we wanted to have a glass of wine (or in my case a margarita) and food. We found a restaurant on PCH. We placed our order much to the chagrin of our waitress, who gave us the impression, she’d rather be anywhere, but here. She brought my margarita and the wine for my daughter. Near the end of our meal, she asked the BIG question…

“Would you like another round?”

My daughter spoke up saying “yes, I would like another one.” I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want another drink and so, it became a conversation between the two of them. I was surprised when she brought us both a drink. I looked at my daughter and said, “I didn’t tell the waitress I wanted this, you said you wanted another one when she asked, but I said nothing.” My daughter thought for a moment and said, “I think when I said I wanted another one, she assumed that we both did, since you said nothing.”
Now….this could be no big deal, right? But the truth was I really didn’t want another margarita, then I started thinking of all the reasons that I was now stuck with a $14.00 drink that I didn’t want. “I shoulda spoke up…..UGH, this waitress seems annoyed with serving us…she walks by our table and doesn’t ask us if we need anything or even if we wanted to order in the first place, UGH…..I am now going to have to drink something that I don’t want or waste the money….wait a minute, do I have to just swallow it?”
The inner conversation was ridiculous to say the least. I sat in the booth thinking about how uncomfortable it was going to be, because I had decided I wasn’t gonna say okay to something I didn’t want…nor did I want to keep the peace with a person, I didn’t even know!
Do you ever do that? Tell a story to yourself about all the reasons you shouldn’t speak up or say what is true for you, so that you don’t upset another person?
I’d like to say I’ve never done it or still do it! But, alas…here I was with the waitress who couldn’t smile and seemed irritated with every word spoken to her unless she asked.
I motioned for her to come over and told her, “I wasn’t going to say anything, because I felt bad (yup) and then I realized it was a stupid reason for drinking something that I didn’t want. I didn’t order this and I do not want it.”
Of course, as predicted…..she argued and tried to tell me I nodded my head ‘yes’ and agreed when she asked the BIG question. I wasn’t intimidated, nor was I up for someone ‘arguing’ with me as a tool for persuasion.

So…I disappointed her, I made it messy….I didn’t swallow it and I felt better, even though it was fairly intense.

My daughter actually agreed with me (she’s almost 24), usually ‘mom’ doing anything like this is totally embarrassing…. but this time, she saw how sometimes it’s best to please yourself, because you’re not gonna win a new friend or make someone like you, who doesn’t have the least bit interest in bridging that gap.
But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself “~ Ricky Nelson “Garden Party” lyric