What Your underwear Says About You.

red_underwear

If we really, really want something to change.

If we really, really want to manifest good things in our life to give ourselves joy, and bring the impossible to us….

Then we need to look at our underwear.

Really.

Many of us don’t place a lot of importance on our undergarments, because we don’t get the relationship or significance it has to how we actually feel about ourselves and what we deserve.

I was talking to one of my clients, about caring for oneself and all the ways we really live in scarcity.

Where we scrimp and compromise for ‘okay’ or ‘good enough’, and perhaps, even give little thought to how we shortchange ourselves. As she and I discussed the lack of caring that went into how dressing for the gym or even for bed, was really a reflection of how we feel about ourselves….

I brought up underwear.

Not her underwear specifically, but how for many of us, especially the ones who are single and sleep alone (and for the married couples who have no intimacy, etc), we figure no one is seeing them, so who cares, right?

We see them in our drawer and are basically saying to ourselves, we’ll buy new undergarments when we have someone in our life who would appreciate it or some other excuse. Do we realize what we’re saying to ourselves, when we don’t treat ourselves as someone we love?

Many of us treat people we love a helluva lot better than we do ourselves, which means there is usually a deficit. It’s out of balance; in truth, we can only give what we have plenty of or it is a sacrifice.  One that eventually turns to resentment, since no one can ever appreciate us enough to make up for sacrifice. We have to value ourselves first, so we’re not thinking the only way to be loved is through people pleasing sacrifice.  We have to fill up our loving cup first, which means what does our underwear look like? It’s a reflection. 

If our partner has holey underwear….what do we think?

Okay, so back to my client who happens to be a nurse. In our ‘underwear’ conversation, she said “You wouldn’t believe some of the underwear I see coming into the hospital, not in a million years!” And I asked her, “What do you feel about the person when you see their underwear? What sort of identity or characteristics do you associate with them?”

She and I discussed it. She said on a first impression, she felt sorry for them, perhaps they were lonely, mistreated in some way or just didn’t care anymore. Exactly.

We all make a judgment call when observing others….negative or positive, we do it. What would our underwear reflect to others, as a statement of our inner world? Scarcity or abundance?

Even if we say we’re not settling; we believe we’re loving ourselves and being kind, ...what does our underwear say? 

Is it in alignment with our goals?

Does it reflect our true feelings about what we deserve?

Are we so used to robbing Peter to pay Paul for the one thing we deem more important than another–instead of understanding how it impacts the overall picture? When we sacrifice or give away something to gain something…it is not done from a ‘there is plenty to go around’ perspective. We’re living in some form of scarcity in our lives. It is not fluent; it’s fragmented. Value is value.

If we want to manifest the impossible, we need to see where we deny ourselves what is possible, right now.

What do we pay no heed to in the way we treat ourselves, showing our brains what we deserve? What are we waiting for–a sign, a nod of approval, meeting someone new, or winning the lottery? Look where we say we don’t care; where we will blow it off today as not being important, as something we’ll instead, worry about in the future and today, we can change it, we can start giving to ourselves right here.

Checking out our underwear…..our hygiene…..our outer self–how we care for us; does it reflect the inner scarcity or the inner abundance?

What does it say we deserve?

When we fill our loving cup, we know that there is always more….that we have it to give, because we’re not looking for validation or saving pennies to buy new underwear for a rainy day.

Changing our underwear can change our lives!

Recognizing Value or You Get What You Pay For!

fiori-trans

I used to be a BIG believer that you could find the same thing for less, whether it was getting a designer dress on sale or a decent mechanic.

I also used to have almost no wealth consciousness or basically, “a general level of scarcity.”

I never understood why people paid a lot of money for certain things, when less expensive items/services were just as good. I figured some people were just into making a statement with a label or they had something ostentatious to draw attention to their success.

It wasn’t until I really started getting my own value, that I understood the differences in spending money. There is investing money and spending it frivolously. One is related to abundance and the other to scarcity. 

We each possess an inherent value in relation to money. Some of us work for w-a-y less than our REAL worth and some of us are paid for OUR value. We may complain or feel stuck earning far less than we deserve; we’re not happy, BUT IT’S OUR CHOICE. We live in fear and settle. 

When we’re too afraid to leave behind that, which does not really serve us financially and we hold on for dear life, because we feel it’s too much risk to go for what we truly want…we’re not living.

In a place of surviving for a paycheck, we live in scarcity. If we don’t spend money, because we’re afraid that we won’t have enough…we’re putting ourselves in a permanent “time-out,” as though we’re serving a penance (this is different than saving for a house or car or something we want)…

On the other side of existing for a paycheck, we stay in scarcity by spending money frivolously. We piss it away trying to escape the pain of half-living! We may live paycheck to paycheck and never get out of this vicious cycle.

In having my own business now and coming from having put myself through the 9 circles of hell financially, I speak from a perspective of value equals abundance and unworthiness equals scarcity. 

As I grew to value myself, I became more abundant.

Abundant in how I see myself, others and life in general. As I grew, I started charging more for my services. I realized when I didn’t charge my value, I’d feel tired, and not as focused, it was like a heavy weight to me to work for less than my worth (and if you’re just earning a paycheck–you know this feeling). Now, I only give specials, which are in complete alignment with abundance and me energetically.

I don’t actually help someone by charging them less, I instead, further enable their scarcity.

When I started charging more, I was afraid to spend any money.

I would cringe and get anxious, every time a friend of mine told me to buy myself something (considering I hadn’t bought myself a decent outfit in 5 years, this was almost ridiculous). When I finally decided to, I made it fun! Only buying what I truly loved and that it MUST reflect the HAPPINESS inside of me! Totally in opposition to my old scarcity!

What we spend money on and the feeling we have about it is a direct reflection to the relationship we have with ourselves. If we feel we’re worth it, we may spend money on what deeply pleases us or help us to grow.

When someone pays for a coaching package with me, I know they feel worthy of the commitment they’re making! And if someone struggles with the money commitment and decides not to–but needs it, then the question is…“what is it costing YOU if you don’t invest?” 

When we really value ourselves, we may get a bit scared with getting out of our comfort zone in our financial spending and goals, but it’s the only way we truly grow.

Wanna be rich? Value equals Abundance is key!

Spend to invest in ourselves–our happiness. Whether it is a house, a purse, a coaching package, a vacation–it reflects our inner world.

I pay others their full value. I NEVER would have in the past and yet, as I sit on the eve of making a MAJOR life decision, by forking over a very large chunk of change to hire a coach for my business…I know I could offer no less for myself or the value I receive for the service. 

We get what we pay for and if we pay someone for a service who doesn’t value themselves enough, it’s reflected back to us in how we don’t value ourselves. The Universe keeps us in direct alignment with each other. If I make a quantum leap, so do my clients and vice versa.

GET UNCOMFORTABLE–BECOME ABUNDANT! SCARE YOURSELF AND LOVE IT, you’ll be so much happier!