5 Ways To Empower Your Life For The Better

Self-Empowerment-img

Relationships rule our lives.

We may get out of bed each morning, dreading interaction with someone during our upcoming day. We may spend time ruminating over the negative feelings and feel uninspired to believe we can actually change something in the communication or our feelings toward them.

Thinking of the “what ifs,” can disempower us from making any decisions in our daily lives and therefore, we can stay stuck in a monotonous circle.

The only power to change anything in our lives resides within us and requires a shift in our perception of reality. How easy is it to do?

It is only through our deepest desire that we can sustain the energy it takes to empower our relationships and our lives.

Wanting to empower ourselves for a better life takes the following:

Step #1: It takes commitment; we must first understand our level of deserving, before we can truly commit to the process of creating a better life. If we do not feel deep inside (based on our beliefs) that we deserve more than settling or struggle, we need to be aware that we’re in a state of resistance to good ‘easily’ coming our way.

Step #2: It’s not all about us. The thoughts in our head rarely have anything to do with another person’s perception of reality. We assume, we know their intention and why they do what they do, but in reality we don’t and we never will…. even if they tell us.

Why is this the case?

Think about how often our mind changes, how skewed our intention can be from one minute to the next, when emotions influence many of our thoughts. Many people lack the self-awareness to understand that half the stories they tell themselves are b.s. and the individuals with self-awareness need to understand that assuming anything about anyone is just a way of avoiding ourselves.

Step #3: Take responsibility for all thoughts and actions we initiate. This means we have control over our lives, when we place blame outside of us, we become a victim who doesn’t have the tools to ‘create’, because there is always something stopping us. Freeing ourselves from what we try to manipulate or blame will result in an opening of our heart and mind to possibilities (rather than living in the belief that what we want is impossible).

Step #4: Get clear on what we actually want. This comes from knowing who we are, which is actually a question most people cannot answer about themselves. Many of us have been conditioned to believe we are someone else, through whatever strategies we identified with as a matter of survival or gaining attention as a child. We have forgotten what we actually love, where our joy is ignited and may not trust the desires we have are nothing more than a passing fancy.

Showing up in all parts of our lives as the same person, rather than in different roles to suit the player, will bring about a dynamic potency to our vision. The clearer our intention, the better our life will become.

Step #5: Be in the present moment. Not only do we need to know who we are, so we can be clear on what we want…we must also bring our entire selves into the moment. When we’re checked out, we are not empowered and we’re not actually engaged in what we’re doing, how we’re interacting and therefore unable to feel connected.

Removing the compartments and accepting what currently ‘is’ in our lives will allow us to be authentic, to make decisions from a clear, connected and centered place within us. It gives us the opportunity to empower ourselves with our action, words and choices in the current moment—when we are “wholly” present.

Advertisements

The Power of Presence I

Presence2

The first six months of this year have been a major balancing act for me.

Good lessons came…ones that brought a whole new idea to presence, balance, abundance, happiness, relaxation and inner peace…..oh, and “choice.”

The power of presence is clearer to me with each sunrise. Waking slowly, staying in my body with my thoughts and not jumping hours ahead, out of my skin into the thick of the day.

As waking up slowly became more of a habit, I began to realize how many distractions there were coming from outside of my environment and into my phone, computer and invariably, my head.

The realization hit me that I’d allowed all of this to distract me, take me out of presence and into a place where I wasn’t really dealing with me. As it shielded me from me (and my true feelings), it created underlying stress.

I started slowing things down in all areas of my life.

I took measure of how I spent my time and if I was truly present, in the moment.

I didn’t want my life to pass me by, because I was just not emotionally there. I feel when I look back at certain past experiences, that I was distracted by the unimportant things. Worrying or obsessing about irrelevant crap disconnected me from those precious times, sometimes I feel wistful to truly re-experience them.

When I was younger, I put a lot of energy into appearing okay; I felt shitty a lot and didn’t really understand the concept of wholeness (All my great and shitty parts mixed together). I thought, if I looked like my act was together…then I was strong and could gain approval….just like the white picket fence story, et al.

Fast forward to 2014…

As I placed my focus on doing what was in front of me, I also stopped doing things to pull me out of the moment. If I was with other people, I stopped texting, checking Facebook and emailing (unless it was important) and put my attention to either what I’d been avoiding with others (intimacy? engagement? connection? vulnerability? change? etc), and became even more aware of what my truth (my intuition) was telling me.

I stopped focusing on who might want something from me and focused on what I wanted.

I started leaving my phone home by accident or would forget to check messages, and lost the old feeling that I needed to always have a busy phone or inbox and that if I didn’t, something was off. I stopped caring about, always having an escape route out of a moment, which I’d done by getting into a marathon text session, sending off emails or engaging in a lengthy phone call….I just enjoyed the presence of my life, whether I was alone or with others.

I became more active in all areas of my life, taking action to have an experience rather than just talking about it. My days became sweeter, slower and happier.

Perhaps, you can relate to where I was:

  • Have you ever found yourself checking your phone a million times a day, whether you’re with others or alone?
  • Do you look for things to do on your phone or computer to distract you from your life?
  • What about getting twitchy when you realize you haven’t talked or texted for hours on your phone?
  • When you’re in public, at a party, out with friends, etc….do you text, call or email other people?
  • Have you ever thought of what you’re actually avoiding in the environment you are physically in, by these technological distractions (including the TV)? Perhaps, you’re avoiding your spouse, kids, your job or taking action for yourself?

Now all of these questions aren’t mean as 100% of the time, but enough, for you to stop and look at all the ways you may not being present in your life. It was a “wake-up call,” to me. 🙂

If you’d like some tools to gain more presence, click here.

Part ll of this post will be the Power of Balance