Read Enough Self-help Books to Fill A Library?

Me too. 🙂

In the past two decades, I have searched, sought and let it all be…..trying to find the magic ingredients to living this life in a way that reflected success in all areas! And thinking somehow, some way there was a secret to it all!

What have I learned?

• There is no magic formula.

There are some great quotes, great ideas and thoughts leading to whole new perceptions of life. There is sound advice and it can create some change if we EMOTIONALLY allow them. Does any of it actually provide a QUANTUM LEAP into the life we desire….to the success, which for some of us feels damn elusive!? No.

• Paying others to help us does not guarantee success.

Experience or taking different action is what will create success. Period.

Sometimes the road is winding and we can’t see it clearly, so having someone who can point out the blind spots–the things we cannot see in ourselves is useful….BUT, we still have to overhaul our own perception on the areas we feel limited. I used to get caught up in this thinking alot.

I didn’t realize I was on a search for perfection. My thoughts focused on “if only I could,” or “why can’t I get there, so I can be happy, successful etc,” and so on.

I DAILY have to accept myself. I DAILY try to do this….sometimes I am successful other times I fail and am stuck. If I don’t hurry to get out of being stuck and instead accept it, I find that is where the miracle actually exists. ACCEPTING ALL THAT IS NOW.

• George has a formula for his success and it doesn’t mean it works for us.

I believe that someone else’s path to success may give us some useful tools, but it is not guaranteed to be our path to success.

When we give all of our power to someone else’s ROAD TO SUCCESS, we don’t necessarily end up any clearer, or happier or more successful!!! We may follow their formula, but life has a way of not allowing us to control it’s circumstances. What worked for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. And really, I don’t know about everyone else, but I find it very tiring to see one-dimensional people selling their way of success as the only way!

It’s that idea that perfect exists and we must become it to have what we want and it’s utter bullshit.

• We have our own answers.

We just have to trust them, and be able to CLEARLY hear them within us.

Success is a perception and it’s not always consistent in our lives. Our definition of failure isn’t actually failure…it’s what we perceive it, categorize it as and use as a measuring stick against ourselves. We DON’T KNOW the answers outside of us. We only know what is within us. This is what we control: going with what is in our gut, “our intuition” and being afraid at the same time.

• Fear does not go away with our most favorable decisions.

Whoever said to be fearless is a goal was smoking a crack pipe. The key is to EMBRACE the fear know it is there and all it wants to do is keep us safe in the OLD. The old thinking, the old ways and strategies, because it is what is known. FEAR comes with the unknown….and that is the only way we actually know we’re doing something different.

• Doing more of what fulfills us

Even if it is the most back-ass-wards thing in the world by someone else’s standards. DO IT if it feels in alignment with who we are and being kind to ourselves as we’re doing it is THE KEY. The nicer we are to ourselves the happier and more at peace we are…no magic formula…and not about following success rules written by a stranger….it’s about living in our own fulfillment–daily.

• Something’s bothering us, dig deep 

If there’s a recurring theme, once again it helps to understand ourselves and why we keep playing it out.

Take time to sit back and allow the truth to surface.

When we understand our motivation for our actions, IT DOESN’T MEAN WE ARE IRREVOCABLY SCREWED! It just gives us awareness to understanding and then deciding if we want to take different action. JUST ACCEPT those insecurities…everyone has them and right there, is another key to success. Love those insecurities to death and guaranteed, others will too. Want more-comment, call or email me!

Negative Thinking is Exhausting

Kuan Yin: Goddess of Compassion

We can be stuck in negative thinking, because it is familiar.

It can be just what we know. Especially, if our thoughts are focused on a situation that won’t change, such as some of the WHY questions: “Why am I alone?” “Why can’t my partner do what I need?” Why does my life, job, home, relationship suck?” 

And the I HATE statements: “I hate this situation I am stuck in, I hate making decisions, I hate him/her, I hate that I’m fat, I hate my life, job, etc…”

And so on…you get the picture.

Perhaps, upon waking the thoughts are there, the same ones like a wheel turning and all they manage to do is wear a person out!! Seriously, what type of mood does that put forth for the day ahead?

The reason it’s so exhausting is that those thoughts are stressful and if we were to act on them in an angry or stressed out manner, the outcome will probably not be what we want.

There is a way to stop the negative cycle of thoughts from taking over the day. It takes time to begin a new practice and I suggest starting small, very small….that will make it easier to continue and create a new habit.

1. Stop for a second in the middle of a negative thought. Ask yourself if it is helping you? The answer is more than likely, “NO.” All it does is keep you caught in a circular pattern.

2. Tell yourself to relax just for a minute. Close your eyes. Nothing bad is happening right in the moment. It’s just you here. Now as silly as it is, say, “I want to feel happy.” If you listen to that statement, you should feel some of the stress associated with negative thinking drop down.

3. Now. Pour some kindness on yourself. Meaning, tell yourself you are doing the best you can in your circumstances. Be compassionate. The kinder you are to you, the less angry you are with others.

4. Look at the situation, relationship, or whatever it is that keeps you uptight, BUT look at it through the eyes of kindness. Take the compassion you have for yourself and look outwards. Is there a small glint of acceptance for what is in the now? Do you feel a different option in how you are thinking, acting or desiring?

This type of transition may be incremental to some of us over time or it could be an epiphany. Slowing down and stopping the negative thoughts will make a difference in our lives, even if it is just in how we feel each day. Instead of having a pit in our stomach as we face the day, maybe there is a warmth throughout our body that no matter what we will be emotionally, “okay.”