Love, Surrender, Let go

Unconditional Love, Surrender and Letting go; funny words. Twenty years ago I would have said it implies doormat.

Nowadays, I see it as the formula to giving up a losing battle.

We battle and fight things in the outer world and our OWN internal landscape much of the time. What is it we hope to win?  Happiness? Money? To be right or vindicated? To get our way? There is a fairly long collection of items on the list of “If “fill in the blank” was just the way I wanted it, then I would be happy.”

Internal battles are the best; we want things to be different. Whether it is a situation, another person or ourselves—what we’re saying is… currently the state of affairs is not acceptable. WHY??? There is no magic pill to a perfectly stupendous world, especially when outside circumstances are what rules our lives.

The quickest way to peace—accept it all, just as it is. Really, just offer a little unconditional love aka unconditional acceptance and watch miracles happen.

Sure you can go to war and take another’s land, become the new leader of that territory. Now what? More battles to maintain and attain more…and when does it end? What’s the goal? Is there happiness or is it a false sense of superiority or security?

Surrender on the other hand is to let go.

Its to walk away from the battle or lay down your arms at the battle line and stick around. Surrender makes it possible to not suffer, in fact its the opposite; it is freedom. It allows you the opportunity to become unburdened with how you had to have things culminate into a predestined outcome and instead, you get to BE free to let things be just as they are, right now.  Whew, glad to give that 1000 lb backpack up and hang out! How exciting to just see what “miracles” happen when you let nature take its course, instead of forcing the river or your partner, or YOURSELF.

I have learned this over and over.

More recently, among other things… I’ve learned about unconditional love. There is no ego in “love”. It is to surrender to no battle lines. It is to accept another as is, to allow them to be the fullest expression of who they are—it is a gift. Conserve your energy, don’t exhaust yourself fighting a losing battle to get your way or change another’s mind. Throw up the white flag. Ask yourself if you want love or to be right? Love is connection; being right is usually disconnection.

Let go of holding onto someone, an idea or anything which feels like grasping, manipulating, or any other form of ego control—there is no control, it is an illusion. Your only control is your actions and reactions; how you choose to “be” in any given moment. So…why not keep choosing happiness? Or love?

Surrender to love. What is really important? Self-righteous indignation, because you didn’t get your way? Or realizing, someone doesn’t have to give into your demands to make you happy; instead you can make “you” happy. It is really the only way to sustain happiness. And it keeps love alive, respecting where another being is at in that moment; alleviating them of the responsibility of your happiness…it gives freedom. And feeling free means you get to choose…and I know when I get the freedom to make my own choices unencumbered by guilt or pressure…I usually make a choice that is inclusive, rather than divisive.

The majority of people are not trying to harm each other in relationship. Most of us make choices we think will allow us to be happy or feel good and other times we make decisions, which continue to create misery. If you bring awareness to your choices and ask if it is your head or heart, which are making the choice…you get to be in control of you, because every heart decision is a choice for happiness….and allowing, accepting and going with the flow of love.

We can choose love and just “be”. It allows us to be supportive. And let go of our own pain, the pain that we believe things need to be different.  Sometimes it is about accepting and surrendering to knowing the best things in life don’t come through force, they come through being open and accepting. So throw down your shield, armor and club….and just “be” with what is…..and watch what takes hold, you will be surprised, I guarantee!

Believing and Well…..Believing, Part 1

How to begin this post?

First, the key is ABUNDANCE in all things.

I am stating it as though I just learned this concept, but it REALLY clicked!

Believing in scarcity creates fear, tightening of the belt, not making decisions to bring you FULFILLING success and leaves you feeling stuck. Why? It’s the fear of ending up with NOTHING!

I am okay with nothing; as long as I keep moving toward what I believe will happen for me. I make a left turn, instead of a right one. I’ve also learned what the words, synchronicity, dreams, acceptance, peace, unconditional love, kindness and self-love actually mean for me–rather than just lip service or the place more fortunate human beings make decisions from…I have learned these are my deepest truth.

Abundance creates a straighter path to your goals; when you risk by making choices which could be scary, but are “in-line” with your goals–you are holding up your end of the bargain!!

In essence, you are stating: “Obstacles will NOT hold me back; I BELIEVE I will attain this goal or maybe even something better!” And the Universe jumps right in by providing you opportunities to get there!

When we come from scarcity, you may as well say your evening commute home has an extra 50 miles every night. And as you drive this l-o-n-g road home, your only thought may be worrying if you have a home when you get there! What if something happened while I was gone? What if the house blew up? Or its been repossessed—I won’t have the safety of my home anymore!! Oh my!!! Even though, I am not crazy about that home…its the home I know!! Now to live from your heart and what you want in your life, sometimes you have to give up the long zig-zagging drive, put the home you know–up for sale, so you can move onto a happier, more satisfying place to hang your bird feeder.

When making commitments to believing certain things are gonna happen for you, it creates a Universal shift.

Especially when you start making different decisions outside of your comfort zone. New choices targeted to what you want to manifest in your life.

My life has already changed since making those declarations almost a month ago! Seriously…that is why this is going to require a few posts backtracking over the last 5 days.

I noticed early last week that little symbols of synchronicity were appearing in my life. Items such as sunflowers, ladybugs, hummingbirds, butterflies, pennies and white feathers are some of the guideposts I keep an eye out for on a regular basis.

One evening, I was moving my comforter when I saw something small and red. I swiped it off my bed, as I was moving my hand I touched it, realizing it was a ladybug. I looked on the floor, but couldn’t find the ladybug–so strange considering none of the windows or doors were open in my home. The next morning I came back from the gym and the ladybug was on my pillow, I sat down and it crawled onto my finger. Little did I know this would be the start of so many messages I’d be receiving the past several days.

Last Friday, I was going on a road trip with my daughter to the wedding of a dear friend. I was so excited to be going, which is quite different than how I used to feel about weddings. I decided to treat the week-end like an adventure, being in the groove of the living! It was going to be “fun”, going with the flow and being happy in the moment.

We hit no traffic on the way up to the mountains, although I did receive a speeding ticket (and hey, the officer was kind enough to take 6 miles off the speed), I didn’t allow it to alter my mood. We arrived and immediately went up into the mountains. We got out at one dirt trail wearing our flip flops (the thought never occurred to change shoes) as we were trying to locate a beautiful site I remembered from my last trip there. We found it with ease and my daughter was amazed at its natural beauty.

I love nature and if I could live in a hammock between two trees, I would be pretty happy!

As I went to bed that night, I inhaled and exhaled, letting myself accept all that is not happening in my life and what I have lost along the way, giving way to allow myself peace. Little did I know the dream I would have that night; followed the next morning by the CRAZY synchronicity, which happened as I came to the deepest place of acceptance, love and truly letting go. Giving my “unresolved wants” up to God/Universe.

Stay tuned for my next post on my dream, THE CRAZY SYNCHRONICITY, what I made peace with…why believing, trusting and having faith in yourself and a higher power really do make things easier, if we just allow it! Til then….be well!

Let Go and Let Be

Why do we hold on so tight to the way we perceive things “have to be”? Why do things need to be a certain way for us to believe it is the only way we can be happy? Why can’t we be happy or at least at peace with the way things are right now? There is never a “perfect” time in anyone’s life which lasts forever. And usually looking back, our memories tend to have made certain untenable situations all of a sudden wonderful?There is no point in looking back, unless to gain practical knowledge. There is only the present to be concerned with, so why not enjoy this moment. Why think of things to make yourself miserable or to disconnect you from your current circumstances? I am not saying to avoid an unpleasant situation, but to be in the moment and deal with what you can “now” and what cannot be dealt with now……does not need to be thought of now. You will have what you need in the time that the situation will be dealt with. And many times in life it is not how we pictured it, even when we have achieved so much on the outside–how can it be so empty? And the realization with achievement that “more” achievement or material things still does not fill that empty space? It is simple really, stop living in a future moment or a past moment. Let things be as they are, accept them and you will find peace that you never knew existed.

Holding On

What is it we really have in this world. For ourselves. Emotions? Love. Happiness. Relationships. Material things ….

What do we have actually and what do we grasp at?

When you physically grasp at things and you open your hand…what is in your hand? Nothing. Air. That is how we should go through life with open hands. Always.

Holding on in case we fall, doesn’t work very well. Trying to hold things as they are doesn’t lead to freedom or happiness, it creates a stalemate. And at some point, our grip will loosen and we will again be grasping for something to hold onto as we go down for the count. Who is counting? It doesn’t matter, really. No one is keeping a scorecard.  We will get back up, even if we just have the outer semblance of standing up physically. We may be crippled emotionally, but we can look like we’re participating, there is a facade we have created that says “I am fine”….until it happens again; we could then ask ourselves if we want to remain in this emotional prison. There are many ways to take action, it is in the choosing…what is it you choose? When we are grasping for something in the future–it keeps us from being present now. If we stop living in a place of anticipating the future, we can feel and see we’re not engaged with life or ourselves.

Maintaining open hands, means maintaining an open heart. Embracing what is and allowing the desire of what we do want to come to us freely in its own time and its own form. When we fall down, it’s okay. We may learn something from falling down, instead of being in a big hurry to stand back up. Maybe laying there seeing what is really true for ourselves isn’t too bad…opening to our light and dark, seeing our whole selves and not just the part that fell down. Having open hands lets us have a softer landing, instead of doing a face plant….we can somehow brace ourselves a bit and know with the fall, there will come a time to get back up. And when we do get back up, maybe we choose a different horse to hitch our saddle to and gallop off into the sunset.