What is in YOUR heart? Part three

Merry Holidays to everyone whatever you may be celebrating today! I hope you have been experiencing inner and outer joy, peace and well-being. Here is the my last post on the question I asked, “What is in your Heart? to 25 people. If you would like to read part one, click here and for part two, click here. Today I start off with a man who is a seeker of inner wisdom, joy and connection. His answer to my question, gave me pause to reflect and see how where I utilize “verbs” in my life to support what I say I want.

He said: 1st of all, thank you for the opportunity to cause me to reflect what is important to come from my heart. A lot of noise clouds my head when thinking about what is important and to not mistake the heart’s desire from the ego., n’est-ce pas? The first three are the most important to me. They will make the others possible to a greater degree, as they have to be done in a strict order and they are shown in the order of their importance. The next six are equal, followed by teaching.
1. Being
2. Doing
3. Having
4. Sharing
5. Loving
6. Creating
7. Listening
8. Observing
9. Healing
10. Teaching
These are one word “pictures”. If you stand in front of them, you will not be able to see much. However, if you take a few steps back and take a “look” at the picture as a whole, each one should be worth a thousand words. Connecting is a word I wanted to use, but it seems to be inherent in a lot of the other words. Growing was another word, but growth and learning would be inevitable for me in being conscious (or sub-conscious) of the 10 things in my heart. Doing this exercise has inspired me to write a short story I was thinking about. I’m going to write it tonight while I am still at the keyboard. I’ll send it to you when it is done.


This answer is from a very bright woman, who has been in the midst of re-building from an accident she experienced on the job this year, along with other events which I am sure teste her own connection to her heart. Here is her list:

1. Blessing from God.
2. Physical healing.
3. Love.
4. Financial freedom.
5. Strength.
6. Acceptance.
7. Physical Strength and stability.
8. Peace.
9. Joy. Laughter.
10. Go back to work!
Thank you for including me!


This next one was an awesome display of connection in the end to one’s heart. At first the question posed to a dear, friend…my soul sister, threw her for a loop and she didn’t know what was being asked or how to get there, but she found it once she “looked”. Here is what she said:

I don’t know if I can give you 10, but I will give them to you the best I can… We have a busy day and night, so I might add some as I go along.

1. Joy…

2. Awe…

3. Love…

4. Fear…

That’s about as far as I can go, without adding my brain into it. I know that I am much more empathetic then I was when I was younger and I feel pain and sadness, for people and things that are going on in the world, but that is when I think about things… I am a little retarded, you might have to walk me thru this♥

(And I didn’t walk her through it, she found her own candle)

Amazement of the simplicity of happiness, frustration with people who are just wasting their lives and damaging their kids with their poisonous behavior….Thoughts?

It is funny that you bring this up. I was just telling my husband how simple happiness is… I figured out this morning that I answered my own message..hahaha. I am glad you liked my responses. It was nice to do an emotional inventory, I hope it helped… Love you!


This one is from a client of mine, who has been on a journey to well-being, happiness and inner peace. He has made such huge strides in his life, I am happy to be a long for the ride. He said: 

This is on the fly so…..








Self love


After the last session I think I got through some things.I’m looking forward to more open views of my life. This list represents some things that are there now and some that I’m open for. Hope and faith are mostly for the future,that I’ll continue to grow. Thanks as always.


There were four people who answered with similar responses that I mentioned on my first post: What is in YOUR Heart? Part One A few that weren’t mentioned on that list by these four people were: Light, Enlightenment, feeling, warmth, hope, belief, desire, forgiveness, peace, quiet, harmony and spirit.


I asked a man who is a straight shooter, always standing up for what is right and trying to figure out where he went wrong…when that clearly has not been the goal. He has physical heart problems and this started in his 40s. His list read as follows:

  • Well I have love, pain, a hole that needs to be filled, Compassion, hurt, hate, joy, 5 stents, fear, And God! I hope that helps.


The answer to what is in your heart from one of the happiest people I know is a woman who espouses self-love, a self-proclaimed (and others agree) Reiki Goddess and her investment in living a blissful existence. Here is her list:

1. Disneyland

2. Jesus

3. Compassion

4. Kindness

5. Acceptance

6. Puppies

7. Cupcakes (pink with rainbow sprinkles)

8. Love

9. Buddha

10. Power


This last one is by another man who I know as a friend. He was very reticent to participate and answer the question. He didn’t want to visit his heart, because he had fear when it comes to what he may find locked deep inside. He shared the following as to what he deemed to be true for him:

1) I want to see my children grow up & have healthy, happy, lives.

2) I want to travel and experience other cultures (non-tourist type stuff)

3) Financially be worry free

4) Give freely of my time to help those in need.

5) Build a “retreat” where I & others can safely explore and grow.

Nothing after that.


That completes this series, but opens up a whole new slew of questions that I want to ask. I learned so much about the “heart” on this little adventure it makes me yearn to know more about my fellow walkers of this life and planet. If you have suggestions for questions or want to share your experiences, please let me know. Communication is my ride! So please join me!


Trance of Fear

Many of us were taught to be somewhat stoic in dealing with problems and tragedy. “A stiff upper lip, get over it or I can’t believe you are still dwelling on it” are some of the words tossed at us.

And over time these sorts of “rules to live by” make it difficult to be real. It is as though we are layering ourselves with a closetful of parkas to protect ourselves from the cold judgment of others and ourselves.

It becomes challenging to show and display what we really feel and think of ourselves; our weaknesses and strengths, because the real “you” may be under all those layers of this deep woolly coat. We hide the weak; show the strength, but maintain a façade of humility, so as not to make anyone think our ego is too large.

As we pretend to be okay, we sink further into feeling separate, alone and threatened.

The trance of fear arises from feeling emotionally cut off in relationships. We continue to feel fundamentally insecure until we begin to experience with others some of the love and understanding we needed as children.

The first step in finding a basic sense of safety is to discover our connectedness with others.  When we begin to trust the reality of another person caring, supporting us and feeling we deserve to belong, the stranglehold of fear loosens its grip.

How many relationships do you have with others where you feel emotionally connected? Where you can be yourself and are allowed the space to unveil your insecurities instead of hide or run from them?

Oftentimes when we are afraid in a relationship, we do things that we are completely unaware of in terms of how we make our partner feel.  We may be emotionally unavailable and not aware, because fear has us in a trance.

As an example, let’s say you and your husband always love spending time talking together at the end of the day. Now your husband turns on the television and when you try to interrupt him, he says, “Please, I just need to wind down…can you just let me be right now.” And you hear that resonate in your head and run off to your bedroom and cry. You are upset and feel your whole relationship is over or in serious trouble.

He follows after you to see what he “did this time” to have you run off in this way.

Overreaction? Yes.

All you know is that you feel abandoned and you have no idea why you are in a trance of fear. Try to sit with the feeling you have in the middle of your reaction and see what it tells you. You may remember something like your dad coming home from work each day and turning on the television. And when you wanted to share news with him about you and your accomplishments or problems; he told you “not now” or “can’t you see I’m watching tv” or maybe he got really angry and found your interrupting him to be a major offense.

Unfortunately, you had no recollection of this earlier moment when your husband responded to you as to his being preoccupied. And when you become aware of these sorts of “past interludes”, you can make a different decision in the present moment to deal with your insecurity. You are then at choice to take different action.

You could explain to your husband the cause of your reaction and open up communication for further conversation. This creates emotional “availability”, connection and takes fear out of the driver’s seat, literally.

Connection in a love relationship means opening up yourself to not being alone in any sense of the word. It is building a foundation of love and understanding, which is safe, where you can share fears that are buried under the layers of your parka.

We don’t have to choose to be alone, ever.

Happiness, Goals and the FEAR Box

Definition of the fear box : 

A place we imprison ourselves without even realizing how we arrived there. It allows us to compartmentalize our lives, not deal with fears, and play it safe with NO emotional risks.

In the box, our actions and beliefs don’t correspond to our dreams/goals. It is familiar and comfortable, yet very uncomfortable too.

We may complain and say we want things to be different, but continue to invest in building thicker walls in our box, while we wait. We wait for the magical day to appear in which it is safe to come out and play. We may be waiting for the planets to align, or a person; wishing for confidence or stability, security, a green light and any other “outside” sign telling us its safe to proceed. This day WILL NEVER come.

Ya just gotta do it!

Each day is an opportunity. Yet, how many people wake up on a “regular” day without a catalyst and take the leap of faith to live their heart’s desire?

Pulling people out of their FEAR box doesn’t work.

It took me years to finally release myself from pulling people along in my personal life. I did it to ignore my fears. Until I was pretty far along on my journey into awareness did it become clear; I hid in this role.

I didn’t realize what a high cost it was for me to always be the shoulder to cry on, the Dear Abby, the “nice and funny” person until a few years back. Let me say, old habits and beliefs die-hard; it’s been a long process to let go.

I didn’t want to look at why I carried a low level of anxiety and loneliness. What belief about myself created this facade? Keeping me surrounded by my own limitations, in my FEAR box.

I remember when I was a kid; my mom told me I wasn’t nice and no one would like me. She said I was selfish and cold; that I didn’t need anyone and was already like an adult at 8 years old. The thing is all of those words were background music to my actions and beliefs I developed about myself FOR YEARS.

I figured if I was this other “person” then what my mom said would NOT be true. I could prove her wrong and make it so people loved me and needed me. (Btw-This was not obvious to me until I did transformative work and took action.)

I thought if I weren’t nice, no one would be my friend.

If I wasn’t trying to fix their lives with my “words of wisdom” or “support” then I would be alone in this world.

Funny, how what you are afraid of most happening, ends up happening.

Slowly and I mean slowly, I became aware of it in my personal life. Thankfully, in my coaching practice I am able to provide without taking anything personally. It is a healthy relationship with my clients.

I have released all people in my personal life to go freely and live in their boxes. I subscribed to a skewed philosophy that if others saw me living by my word they would be inclined too.

Not so.

And how self-righteous was my view? Who am I to take what people asked for in my support or guidance and remind them through honest words?

Someone told me I make it impossible to hide.

So I gave up the dysfunctional relationships where there was no alternative. Ones in which I allowed others’ to make me responsible for their well-being. I accepted in my remaining relationships that I’m supportive, but I don’t invest in the choices of others as my personal crusade.

As I take action and live from a place of authenticity for myself, I realized that I had a hard time personally listening to people repetitively complain about the same thing (beyond venting) or tell me stories, which made them victims.

And if I agreed, I’d feel like I was letting them off the hook to their fulfilling their own dream. It’s not my personal job.

Now in my personal life I don’t make that investment. I accept and don’t try to fix.

I’m there as a friend who may ask questions and be supportive, but not as their therapist.

Have you found yourself in that role? You are welcome to retire any time.

Take all that energy and focus on what holds you back from your own dreams. And if you are inclined, pop out of your FEAR box.

As I’ve learned by coaching people and watching them move toward their dreams, it is about making the commitment to oneself.

No one can do the heavy lifting for us. Only we can do it to have our lives become what we say we want.

I will continue to take risks, which are uncomfortable as hell every day; push me beyond my own limitations and not sabotage myself. I know when I honor myself; I honor others. I accept others and I can still choose to take my own fork in the road and find new traveling companions. Or if I stay, it is from this place of fulfillment in my heart.

I invested in a romantic relationship that was not fulfilling me in any way. Safe topics were cool. And like the relationship with my parents, we rarely addressed issues between the two of us. The pink elephant was in the room; unless I reached my limit of being able to NOT focus on what was obviously wrong.

No change ever happened. …I gave up fixing and pulling, so the relationship fell away. And as I move on, intimacy is something I no longer fear.

I chose to invest in men who preferred to never rise to the occasion; stuck deep in their own boxes. I preferred this to keep me single and in my FEAR box.

Why, if I am saying I wanted to be married was I working so hard at investing in the opposite? Haha.

Old commitment fears and issues die-hard too.

I keep taking Ol’ Bessie in hand here and am honest with myself. I know the fear I felt had nothing to do with the other person; it is my fear of my own emotions coming at me—can I handle them? Now? YES I can.

Pop right out of my FEAR box!

Love is spacious, fear is limiting and once again I walk on my hot coals. I don’t have to slam doors. I don’t fear a committed relationship as a prison; I can just love.

As my client told me jokingly last week when we were setting his appointment for this week: “ Next week could be rough, with everybody “needing me”. Can’t I just go back into hiding and be a recluse? I blame/thank you for this.”

My client is in a healthy, happy relationship now, a great social life and developing a whole new division of his business for himself too.

He is one of the reasons I coach, watching people pop out of their FEAR boxes and create the happy life they want.


Relationships and the Common Denominator

I’d like to ask you a question or two…

In regard to a current or past relationship, what was the dynamic in this relationship and do/did you find yourself in the present moment (rather than the past) when strong emotions came up?

How did you feel right before you said words that provoked a fight beween you both; or made you inclined to walk out the door? What was the feeling when you were compelled to make a decision in the midst of any strong emotion? How OLD was that feeling, which initiated your action?

What is it you “do” that re-creates the same issues again and again in your relationships?

The “doing” is old conditioning and being unaware of your own emotions in the moment, what is it that is NOW being provoked, which brings the past into the present?

We are only doomed to failure in a relationship (barring abuse or some other event which is harmful to one’s mental/physical health) because it is what we work toward creating, when we “unconsciously” and falsely believe it is what we deserve.

When relationships have failed in the past what is the commonality?

What was the feeling that took you over in 0-60 that lead you to ruin? Who or what is driving the car?

One may ask herself/himself, “Why do I focus on things that ruin my inner peace and I can’t control? When I do something to try and control it, which makes it worse. It is like I’m watching a rerun of a past situation in a relationship.”  

Nothing is written in stone, so why do we act as though “this always happens to me”, as though we are unaware of what we create in our relationships?

In this state of auto-pilot, we use blaming, cajoling, forcing and withholding to get what we believe is the perfect outcome.  When we use these tactics the outcome is never fulfilling, it usually leaves us wanting more.

It is never is about the other person.

It is what we allow when we don’t have boundaries or we traverse the boundaries of our partner hoping for a reaction.

Who is right or wrong? Who cares? The people engaged in the struggle are in an ancient battle. A re-enactment of their history, except this time with a different person.

I always love the saying, “wherever you go, there you are.”

And in the context of relationships…we bring “me” to “we” and think that the new person is different, until we find certain commonalities of communication and reaction we had in past relationships. And what is the common denominator?

Awareness brings openness.

And to see how you truly are the creator of your life, watch how you anticipate certain responses, actions and reactions from your partner.

Have you noticed when you emotionally feel a certain way, let’s say insecure…you get a specific reaction? Is your partner programmed depending on how you approach he/she to respond to you in a familiar pattern?

And you do realize there are two of you here?  Although when dealing with the ghost of relationships past, he/she could be a “stand in” used for the present, instead of a real human being. You both are playing a role in the same stale story wanting a different climax and result.

The outcome you seek may not be the same as your partner. So, again who is right or wrong?

We tend to hold our partner accountable for their response to us without first seeing the dynamic we bring to the situation.  We build a case against them and  if this relationship fails, we bring it to the next one.

I’ve mentioned it before, when you THINK you know what your partner will do or say WITHOUT them having done or said anything… YOU are building that future moment; you have all the tools or weapons to make it happen.

Our body language, tone of voice and words we use all are aimed “unconsciously”at that consequence; one from the past.

We are creating what we think is beyond our control. Truly.

We take no notice of the feeling we have before we engage in the act of destruction, except “not getting our way.”  What it comes down to is “my way”, “I want my way!” 

And in your desire to have what you want; the will of another must bend to your way or play along in your “ancient” battle. You create the outcome “you know and it is familiar”. And the bummer is, you never feel satisfied when this happens, ever.

You create more stories.

When you honor and respect yourself, you inspire that in another.

When you approach a person as though you are a 5 year old having a temper tantrum and must have your way…. you usually don’t get your way without a cost.

And this does NOT mean yelling or violence externally. It means the single-mindedness you have in your thinking cap of the situation turning out how you believe it should, like unanswered needs of a small child.

When we are unaware of our inner mental patterns they tend to be distorted, self-sustaining and contribute to auto-pilot resurrection of the past in the present. 

Awareness gives freedom.

No matter what took place in a past relationship you have the power NOW to choose how you feel and act. 

Awareness grows through being in the present moment and making different choices.

Take a breath, a pause, relax when thoughts and physical sensations become intense…listen to their story.

When you learn to sit with the intensity of your emotions, you have the ability to create…. because you relax; the peace and spaciousness grow and awareness shows you are not reacting to a present moment, but one from a story long ago.

Even if you have no intensity in emotion and you are simply anticipating words or behavior from your partner … you are not “predicting”,  you are setting up the story-line.

All of the storyline is from the past.

Again, pause to stop thinking “I know” and let something happen based on a clean slate.  Don’t color it. Treat it like the first time. A new experience with this person, situation or conversation. You have the magical ability to create a completely different outcome now.

Life is about creating, new experiences and opportunities, NOW. It doesn’t have to be limited to re-living the past.

Too Many Flaws

I saw the headline above this morning as it flashed across the TV screen at the gym.

Not to address the context it was stated, but what constitutes “too many flaws”?

What is the “official flaw limit”? 

I wasn’t aware that as human beings, any walked among us “flaw free”. Yet, we each have a judgment for others and ourselves as to what is acceptable.

Another view is one person’s flaw is another’s success.

And of course this is determined by what an individual embraces “success” to be in this world.

Many people are made infamous for a flaw. They make money and achieve fame, because others are enthralled by their “flaw(s)”; almost like watching a car accident.

Flaws are used against people all the time. “You screwed up, you are worthless” or “that wasn’t a mistake, you did it on purpose”; there is a litany of statements, which fall under flaws people show and how all are used against them.

These errors in: judgment, non-awareness, driven to have what you want at cost to others, any breaking of any rule, deviant behavior and anything considered “wrong” by an individual are burdens. Shackled to for the rest of their lives from an outside perspective and probably an inside one too.

And when we turn against ourselves for our flaws and live in shame, guilt or any other image to beat us up, what is gained?  Does this remove the flaw? And if so, do we replace it with another?

As you may have discovered pointing out flaws that another has doesn’t work.

It doesn’t work because they have to be aware to change them.  And really, is the impetus to point them out because it works better for you? Or you want to feel superior to that person because of your own struggles with yourself to feel good?

Blaming does nothing; it takes your control away and leaves you a victim.

People spend money, time and energy trying to better themselves and be less flawed. And I guarantee the end result is not perfection.  It is a harsh sentence to be told you have too many flaws and therefore you no longer count. How in another’s eyes do you absolve yourself? You don’t and nor should you.

Acceptance is a good start.

The pursuit of perfection is a perfect fiction novel that we all want to make into our biography; our own work of nonfiction.  It will never happen. People deny this is truly the goal.

Yet, we seek it in all who exist in the public eye; we seek it in our looks and our own distorted view of the disturbing features we possess. If we are rid of them, we won’t be set apart anymore or we will finally gain a place in being accepted and okay.

Whatever battle you are fighting with yourself to have less flaws, can cost you, so much. Your time, energy, self-love, esteem, treating yourself as a captured criminal, the activities and goals you pursue.  

After all, if you don’t think your good enough, because of this flaw or that one…you have found the perfect excuse for all that is wrong in your life and  stay on the ground; not reaching for the heights of your unlimited creativity.

Flaws can be a show-stopper.

I have found looking at my gifts and growing them to be a much more fulfilling way to live.

As I wake each day, I realize it is an opportunity to create. I have been giving up the pursuit of perfection for years. Bit by bit it is gone up in smoke!

Sometimes when I make a mistake the old belief comes in yelling at me ” I wasn’t good enough or how could I be so stupid or what is wrong with me that this happened!”

I pause.

And hit the re-set button.

I look at what really happened. If I didn’t utilize my best effort, I relax and give myself a break…if it is something I could have prevented; I find it easier to forgive my “human-ness” now.

I allow obsessive thoughts to come and go on how I could’ve done better and pretty soon it floats out of my awareness and I’m back to creating.  I do not cover it up with positive affirmations. I always feel like it is putting perfume on “p*&^p”!

I let go so much sooner now; I no longer keep a running list of all my flaws to beat myself over the head. And when I reflect on an area not going how I want it to in my life….

I remember that I’m participating in its creation, being aware of my feelings, my reasons for the action I take and then I figure this is all I can do and its okay!

And my journey is not a linear line. We all have flaws and isn’t that what  makes us most endearing and lovable?


An intention came true for Victoria!

As told by Victoria…

The Crystal Trunk Show at my place of business, Que Linda Boutique…was a special event from our crystal vendor to our customers. The crystals offered were everything from jewelry to large pieces for the home.

It was a large selection of items for our customers to pick and  choose from, as if they were shopping directly through the crystal warehouse…but instead, the warehouse came to them.

The day started with my mindset of JOY.

With ease I got ready, with ease I  breathed through the morning thoughts of what today would bring.  JOY.  

I had just put on my dress that was comfortable to wear and embraced with the feeling making me Goddess strong.

As I was headed out the door; I gave my beau, Michael a kiss with my eyes, then with my lips and hugged him, while continuing to feel Goddess strong.

I went about opening the boutique and set the daily tone~burning incense, playing a wonderful soul soothing CD, turning on the water fountains, and lighting up the crystal  lamps.

I walked to the card reading room I recently set up toward the back of my boutique.

I looked into the mirror in this room and summonsed God, Buddha, Oracles, Angels, Ancestors, Universe and all light  powers that be…

This day and every day forth: Wealth of LIFE…wealth of Love,  wealth of Joy, wealth of Health, wealth of peace and grace, wealth of Soul  Workers, wealth of PROSPERITY for the boutique, the studio, QL2 & all who work &  provide service.

I looked directly into the mirror and declared a specific dollar figure for the sales of the day for the trunk show.  It was a figure I stretched  further than I felt comfortable, but now know this to be part of my journey…going beyond that which I already know exists.

I continued on with my day.  

I received a phone call from a vendor praising us for who and what we are in our work. He declared, “Victoria…it is your time.  No matter the economic situation, you have done your work. You have provided for those in your community to still love and laugh and be provided a safe place to nourish. It is your time to be successful.  It is YOUR TURN.  Your turn to be  successful and to be rich.”
I had only spoken to this vendor, Joel, briefly in the past, when I asked to be a retailer of his A-mazing Yoga inspired wear.
I believe in his intention and love the QUALITY he provides in his product…I believe in his “service.”  I was feeling wealth of validation.
Thank you Universe for Joel’s message today.
The next call I received was the crystal vendor.   She had called to ask if it was raining yet in our area, if so she would come earlier to ensure setting up on time. My reply to her, “Yes it is raining, and as they say for rain on wedding days, we are “twice blessed.”  She agreed.
We felt an immediate sense of good energy pulsating through the phone and we both were in the place of believing that “it is time.”  Minutes before the event was to start, we already had customers joining us.
The rain was falling and yet they were still coming. The magic in the air, the energy  pulsating from person to person, crystal to person was intoxicating! We literally opened the doors to allow all the energy to flow freely and expand.  The cold weather did not permeate the room, it really blessed the space and the event.
An elegance and joy filled the entire day, and the event lasted an extra hour. As we said good-bye to the last customer, we started to tally up the day.
When I looked at the final figures it was 60% more than I had  declared to the mirror that morning, but I had yet to pay out to the vendor…so I continued to do the math.
Taking the figures of the day, and deducting the vendors portion, I was left with the EXACT figure I had declared to the mirror at the beginning of the day! WOW!
I had OVER “declared” as a LEAP OF FAITH in my year of manifestation!  Well the Universe heard, danced and answered me. Now to continue this each and every day I get to dance on this earth…Thank you  Universe! 

No more boxes!

This is the kind of stuff I write at the gym in the morn.

A continuation of yesterday’s post.

What do you think? 


Love is the way, in all ways.

It never let’s you down.

The expectations of the mind usually let you down…they are never true.

To expect, is to have a picture of how things must be, when that is a “known” idea.

We want what we know, not what is unknown.

That can be scary.

We want to trust that what it all looks like RIGHT NOW is what it will bloom into and finally become…the picture of perfect outcomes. 

Love is fluid; it becomes more love.

I know for myself, I sought out the advice of others for many years. I wanted a guarantee. I wanted to know I would have my life develop some semblance of success.

I wanted a psychic, a friend, a stranger to promise I would dance in the meadows, sing on top the tallest peak, and lie down in my garden of sunflowers; happily, joyfully and easily. 

Love would be mine; it would just show up rather than ask me to open myself to its possibilities.

In the past…

What I did not understand was I kept throwing obstacles in my way on this journey to nirvana! I had taken everything that is possible and stuffed it in a box marked “impossible”.

It all waited for me to open up the box rather than continually trip over it.

The box held my dreams, my love, happiness and joy…..and when I opened a corner of the box a brief whiff of possibility stirred my soul.

I started to believe there was a Santa for real….the Universe gives back what we offer, tenfold. You live with boxes, you get more boxes. You open up those boxes and ALLOW your life to unfold and you are met with magic. 

I realized I had a lot of boxes.

My life had become so compartmentalized so I wouldn’t have to feel anything. I could operate as a robot. (YAY!)

Except that wasn’t the case.

I already had awareness of myself and how things work, AND when that’s the case you never really get to live in denial for long…the Universe will provide you with opportunities when you want to forget who YOU are…it opens you back up with whatever tools available. Ouch! Painfully or happily it is our choice.

The Universe forces you to deal with what stands in the way; meaning all those boxes inside of yourself, so you can BE open to the possibilities it offers.

We make choices out of fear.

We get stuck; we become immoveable to change, except by force.

And our boxes stuffed full, keep piling up, like a hoarder and seem to be keeping us safe; until we lose the job, we suffer a break-up, our kids move out, we go broke, we lose our house and everything associated with our “so-called life”. 

And then, in a moment of quiet reprieve we may touch our soul; only to find it singing a different song then the one we’ve been playing to ourselves.

A song requiring us to embrace who we truly are and turn our lives to possibility.


The truth of your heart and soul.

Who you are and what purpose you connect with TRULY inside of yourself.

Discovering this important tune is just a step.

Now… to attend to those boxes.

A little space allows the room for opportunity.

Hoarding our failed expectations, multiple disappointments, and untraveled roads that constantly shout at us, “we will never amount to anything we want to be, really “be” in this life” is just a little curve in the road on our journey.

Although, it can become a delay. It depends on how long you want to hoard versus let go….to become who you truly are, right now.

We can spend years unwilling to let go of these boxes, which supply the elements to the story we like to tell not just ourselves, but others too. We believe those stories so much; it actually feels like part of the fabric, which makes up our life.

It is not.

It is just an experience.

Events happen, in and out of our control.

All that happens is a series of events, which we experience.

All of life is just an experience.

So, go experience it…and get out of the box!

Deconstruct to Reconstruct by Victoria

So, with my asking the Universe to Dance in my manifestation of Wealth:

a) Monetarily –
b) Happiness-wealthy in my daily happiness.  My heart & face to have the same smile!
c) Love-
d) Health-
e) Branding- Being a destination place, a sought out brand and state of being…
f) Soul-Workers-abundance with Soul Workers who set the tone in following and exemplifying what Que Linda is…as a way of Life.

At this point, I have not seen tangible steps forward.  Yes, many spiritual opportunities for growth and expanding of my understanding; many synchronistic things have happened, but I have not made a BIG dent in my universal expansion and manifestation of Wealth.

I have worked on many steps to lay a solid foundation for this continued journey of manifestation to Wealth of all areas A-F.  As I have been “working,” there are things constantly revealed to me, that I needed to alter to have wealth. As in all areas of my life: how I “do my business”,view Happiness, LOVE, feed myself, move my body for good health, and how to expose my brand to LA’s consumer society.

I realized that the WAY in which I was doing these things was how I HAD done it in the past.  I needed to update the HOW, like a re-model to a home.  The intention (the foundation) IS Solid, but I need to modernize and upgrade.

The HOW and the WHO I am doing this with…as my very in-tuned friend Tracy eloquently re-stated it is “you need to Deconstruct to Reconstruct.”  EXACTLY!

I have done this very literally with my 2 real estate properties and the Que Linda spaces, but I had not done it with HOW I was running and functioning my business.

I have become VERY clear on the HOW to run the business in alignment with the Business it IS today…not what it was 3 years ago.

I wake up in the morning now, not thinking of what I have to deal with, but what I am grateful for…my love laying next to me, the children in their rooms safe and HOME.

LOVING that I get to really live the life I want. I am healthy and working on increasing that which is good for me…seeing our local favorite chiropractor, Dr. Rion.  Dr  Rion works as a partner in his clients good health.  Reminding you to eat well and to move, because exercise and D-I-E-T are both 4 letter words to me; eating well and moving make more sense and are more in alignment with my views.

The Website is under “construction” to create an updated experience, by offering the customer an immediate way to shop and make appointments from their computer.

And lastly, I want to invite healers and teachers who are professional; bringing their own clientele for us to nurture as collaborative partners and also sharing our customers who want to expand their opportunities to learn and grow too.  A healer who is committed and available in his/her own schedule, dates and times; wanting to rent their own space within our space. Healers and teachers who want a place of their own to Construct a solid business within our collective whole.

So, a few months deeper into this manifestation Journey to Wealth; it is one of monetary riches, happiness on a daily knowing, LOVE-deep and authentic LOVE; health-mentally, physically and spiritually; wealth of my Brand of Que Linda/Body N’ Soul Studio at 3608-3610 1/2 Foothill Blvd.; it is a destination point for the masses. What I have learned to attain this wealth is to “deconstruct” the original mindset of 3 years ago, update, re-model and upgrade all areas in order to Reconstruct the Authentic and Daily Living of WEALTH in all areas, A-F and beyond!

Inspiration Points

Where do you find inspiration in your daily life?

What are the sources you have come across which keep you motivated or make you feel alive?

I would love to hear from readers of my blog, as to what is inspirational to you!

I find inspiration in the big and small moments.

When I walk each day, I look down from a bridge at the LA River (Not a real river, really.) And the duck families have gathered there in droves, quacking at each other, swimming gracefully over the small current; I feel the breeze, hear the birds and feel simply…alive. It is inspirational and calming to me. When I feel stuck, I go on a walk. It always clears my head and gets me in touch with inspiration.

I am also inspired when I work out on the elliptical machine in the morning at the gym. I tend to write pieces and parts for my book onto my phone and email it to myself for editing later on. It is a great tool for me, because I am inspired by the easy flow of my words and that I have accomplished this while getting a work out done.

I find other people inspirational. Old friends, new friends, acquaintances and strangers. The guy who was sitting outside Trader Joes the other night with his guitar, singing his heart out! I don’t know who was having the better time, him, or the people listening to his tunes.

I find people inspiring on a regular basis, the best inspiration is when you believe you know someone very well and they surprise you in some fantastical way! I love thinking, “Wow, I never thought so and so would do something like that, or think from that perspective or apologize and so on…” I hope I inspire people in that way too. Surprises that are happy are always welcome, surprises that bring dread or bad news; definitely not as welcome, but there seems to be an inspiring gift if you are willing to admit it to yourself.

Everyone has a story; I like listening to people talk who have found a way out of their story or are still finding a way to create a new story. We all have our struggles and roller coaster moments, but inside of every moment is a gift.

I find many inspiration points and surprise myself when I actually have received news I am less than thrilled to have received. Yet I surprise myself by digging a little deeper and asking the apparent benefit. When I find the benefit, I seem to allow myself some relief or happiness, knowing that things are definitely changing and probably for the better.

I am currently motivated to move my life forward, instead of further pondering or waiting for some sign that I finally arrived at the diving board and it was time to jump. Nothing that dramatic happened, it was a decision. The decision came as a realization for me that my life may never have that perfect moment, so why not make “now” a perfect moment?

And with my heart in the driver’s seat; I am like dandelion seeds, sprouting up and continuing to spread my joy!

My proposal

This is a letter I have created and started sending out to people I know. I am inspired, partially because I have set forth believing certain things would come together this year and I am ready to really take life on, fully! I also know I am putting it all out there and this is just another avenue!

This is an unusual request. My hope is that you will pass this on to everyone you know and that they too will pass it on to their circle. I am providing an outline to you of a creative opportunity.

I am a transformative coach. I help people to release obstacles, which keep them from living a more relaxed, happy and dream-fulfilling existence. I believe in living from your heart. I have decided to put that statement into ACTION.

I am embarking on fulfilling my promise to myself in the hope that it will not only benefit me, but also benefit many in my life and help others in this world. I am committing to creating my business on a much larger scale in this coming year.

I am fortunate to have the support of Victoria, Emma and the Que Linda community. Now, what does it mean to create my business on a larger scale?

It means putting the plans into full-time action that I have been unable to do because of cost and time constraints.

It means asking for financial support far and wide in this endeavor as I commit myself to bringing the following to fruition this year:

1. Writing and completing my book “The manual to The Universe”

a. Creating my podcast and fulfilling radio show invitations based on the book.

b. Revitalizing my website to include ecommerce

c. Incorporating my company 13Degreez to support my endeavors

d. Writing and completing my e-course offerings from the book.

2. Creating my DVD series based on the book

It is a long list, but as many of you know this is about living from my heart. It is about continuing to create the life I want and to show others it can be done if you just “believe” and apply action to that faith. We all have it in us!

It is my dream and whether I receive financial support or not, I AM DOING IT!!! Woohoo!

It has been a long journey to this point. There have been many twists and turns on my path that it seems like taking a risk at this stage in my life is a little like joining the circus. I have worked in corporate America as a Vice President and other managerial roles over the years. I have applied my mentoring skills, along with my coaching training and my heart to being a coach. I have a stake in everyone who comes through my door and I love watching people blossom.

At times in my life, this connection to what I do has been nonexistent. I have lost more than I have won; yet those lessons are what propel me forth. I have gone from sleeping on someone’s couch to working in a business that I love!! My existence now is self-honesty, one that challenges me to not allow old beliefs to stand in my way.

I have written out levels of contribution to my endeavor. My goal is to work on the projects listed here and to continue working with my clients too. And so, I wanted to be realistic as to the return on an investment that anyone would make to my life goals and I did a bit of research on compensation or ROI.

I found a website called kickstarter.com, people ask for funding for a variety of artistic projects. Many of the people looking for support offered a variety of opportunities to supporters to have a return on their investment. I have listed them below.

If you would like to participate in this project of mine—you will receive regular updates, enjoy surprises from me in terms of appreciation and the list below of goodies. If you pledge over $10,000.00 you will also earn a percentage of profit from sales of either my DVD collection or books. Once those items are to market, I will keep you posted as to the sales of those items.

I am offering the following in terms of my skills: coaching, writing, marketing and intuitive readings. As the investment grows, so does what I can offer to each investor. Another option is to pre-pay coaching or intuitive reading appointments at a fee of 125.00 per hour or any fraction of that time.

All contributors will be listed on my website and updated on my progress. As well as, anyone making a contribution of $10,000.00 or more will receive the appropriate legal contract. I am grateful, appreciative and know/believe that this will help everyone who contributes in some form or another.

You can invest through paypal on my website at: 13 Degreez and once you are on my site, please go to the page “Groups/Classes”.

Thank you and peace,

Tracy Crossley