What is in YOUR heart? Part three

Merry Holidays to everyone whatever you may be celebrating today! I hope you have been experiencing inner and outer joy, peace and well-being. Here is the my last post on the question I asked, “What is in your Heart? to 25 people. If you would like to read part one, click here and for part two, click here. Today I start off with a man who is a seeker of inner wisdom, joy and connection. His answer to my question, gave me pause to reflect and see how where I utilize “verbs” in my life to support what I say I want.

He said: 1st of all, thank you for the opportunity to cause me to reflect what is important to come from my heart. A lot of noise clouds my head when thinking about what is important and to not mistake the heart’s desire from the ego., n’est-ce pas? The first three are the most important to me. They will make the others possible to a greater degree, as they have to be done in a strict order and they are shown in the order of their importance. The next six are equal, followed by teaching.
1. Being
2. Doing
3. Having
4. Sharing
5. Loving
6. Creating
7. Listening
8. Observing
9. Healing
10. Teaching
These are one word “pictures”. If you stand in front of them, you will not be able to see much. However, if you take a few steps back and take a “look” at the picture as a whole, each one should be worth a thousand words. Connecting is a word I wanted to use, but it seems to be inherent in a lot of the other words. Growing was another word, but growth and learning would be inevitable for me in being conscious (or sub-conscious) of the 10 things in my heart. Doing this exercise has inspired me to write a short story I was thinking about. I’m going to write it tonight while I am still at the keyboard. I’ll send it to you when it is done.

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This answer is from a very bright woman, who has been in the midst of re-building from an accident she experienced on the job this year, along with other events which I am sure teste her own connection to her heart. Here is her list:

1. Blessing from God.
2. Physical healing.
3. Love.
4. Financial freedom.
5. Strength.
6. Acceptance.
7. Physical Strength and stability.
8. Peace.
9. Joy. Laughter.
10. Go back to work!
Thank you for including me!
XO,
L

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This next one was an awesome display of connection in the end to one’s heart. At first the question posed to a dear, friend…my soul sister, threw her for a loop and she didn’t know what was being asked or how to get there, but she found it once she “looked”. Here is what she said:

I don’t know if I can give you 10, but I will give them to you the best I can… We have a busy day and night, so I might add some as I go along.

1. Joy…

2. Awe…

3. Love…

4. Fear…

That’s about as far as I can go, without adding my brain into it. I know that I am much more empathetic then I was when I was younger and I feel pain and sadness, for people and things that are going on in the world, but that is when I think about things… I am a little retarded, you might have to walk me thru this♥

(And I didn’t walk her through it, she found her own candle)

Amazement of the simplicity of happiness, frustration with people who are just wasting their lives and damaging their kids with their poisonous behavior….Thoughts?

It is funny that you bring this up. I was just telling my husband how simple happiness is… I figured out this morning that I answered my own message..hahaha. I am glad you liked my responses. It was nice to do an emotional inventory, I hope it helped… Love you!

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This one is from a client of mine, who has been on a journey to well-being, happiness and inner peace. He has made such huge strides in his life, I am happy to be a long for the ride. He said: 

This is on the fly so…..

Hope

Love

Faith

Confidence

Adventure

Freedom

Belief

Self love

Change

After the last session I think I got through some things.I’m looking forward to more open views of my life. This list represents some things that are there now and some that I’m open for. Hope and faith are mostly for the future,that I’ll continue to grow. Thanks as always.

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There were four people who answered with similar responses that I mentioned on my first post: What is in YOUR Heart? Part One A few that weren’t mentioned on that list by these four people were: Light, Enlightenment, feeling, warmth, hope, belief, desire, forgiveness, peace, quiet, harmony and spirit.

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I asked a man who is a straight shooter, always standing up for what is right and trying to figure out where he went wrong…when that clearly has not been the goal. He has physical heart problems and this started in his 40s. His list read as follows:

  • Well I have love, pain, a hole that needs to be filled, Compassion, hurt, hate, joy, 5 stents, fear, And God! I hope that helps.

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The answer to what is in your heart from one of the happiest people I know is a woman who espouses self-love, a self-proclaimed (and others agree) Reiki Goddess and her investment in living a blissful existence. Here is her list:

1. Disneyland

2. Jesus

3. Compassion

4. Kindness

5. Acceptance

6. Puppies

7. Cupcakes (pink with rainbow sprinkles)

8. Love

9. Buddha

10. Power

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This last one is by another man who I know as a friend. He was very reticent to participate and answer the question. He didn’t want to visit his heart, because he had fear when it comes to what he may find locked deep inside. He shared the following as to what he deemed to be true for him:

1) I want to see my children grow up & have healthy, happy, lives.

2) I want to travel and experience other cultures (non-tourist type stuff)

3) Financially be worry free

4) Give freely of my time to help those in need.

5) Build a “retreat” where I & others can safely explore and grow.

Nothing after that.

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That completes this series, but opens up a whole new slew of questions that I want to ask. I learned so much about the “heart” on this little adventure it makes me yearn to know more about my fellow walkers of this life and planet. If you have suggestions for questions or want to share your experiences, please let me know. Communication is my ride! So please join me!

Peace.

What is in YOUR heart? Part Deux

The heart speaks today as I venture out to share what lives in the heart of people when asked what is in your heart? There is happiness and loss; pain and beauty; people here and people gone. No single answer is the only answer and it was an open-ended, with no limitations sort of question to share what “being in the heart” meant to people.

All is allowed there, whatever you deem to be true for you.

One of the lists I received was from a man who is a very creative and artistic soul whom I have known for years. His list of what is in his heart is as follows:

  • The ability to make people laugh.
  • The love and laughter of my child.
  • Spontaneity
  • Watching my creative turn into the finished piece.
  • Mechanical ability
  • Sharing and contributing to the creative process.
  • Riding
  • Helping people even in the smallest ways.
  • BBQ’n for friends
  • Cooking
  • Being active

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Another list was provided by a Grandmother who lost her lifelong partner, her husband a few years back and her list inspired me with its poetic feel of the truth of our connection to others and this world.

  • People suffering the loss of love, be it from death or the ending of a relationship, my Church and my faith, my old pals from ARCO. I have an infinite place in my heart for small children; they are our hope for the future. Hummingbirds, the peace and tranquility I feel when I sit at the oceans shore. Ireland, the feeling of belonging each time I visit. I am a part of its’ soul. Italy and blue-eyed men. The cemetery in Pittsburgh where all of my loved ones are waiting for me, especially John, the love of my life. Childhood friends, because of the unconditional acceptance that you can only get from those bonds formed without question.

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And I asked a younger man in is 20s the same question, “What is in your Heart?”  He is one who chooses to be of service to others and spends “a lot” of time thinking what his heart “wants”…. and here is his list:

He said: “I didn’t know for sure if this was what you where thinking. Let me know what you think. I can do another if this is off. thank you so much, this totally helped clear my mind~ Thank you for allowing me to be apart of this. It really came at a perfect time!”

1: Respect of other’s and their individual reality as their own personal truth at that time.
2: Respect and recognition that “universal” or “divine” order overrides personal perspective and opinion.
3: Recognition that no one person is greater or less than another.
4: Recognition that there are no ordinary moments or accidents.
5: Love for myself and the moment i am in.
6: Love for others with no conditions or prerequisites.
7: Freedom from conditioning.
8: Freedom from expectation, allowing each moment to unfold.
9: True gratitude, radiant joy, and pure love for all that is, was, and ever has been (The Process), regardless of appearance, emotional charge or physical pain, everything is always perfect.
10: Wisdom to know what is true and the courage to take proper action.

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Another list given to me to share was by one of the most enthusiastic people I know, she is always a bright spot in the day of all she comes across. She is a mom of three young children and her days are filled with showing, growing, learning, being, overcoming and laughter!

1. Love, love is first and foremost in my heart.
2. Gratitude
3. To be the best parent, wife, friend, and person I can be.
4. The need to learn as much as I can, the love of reading and learning.
5. To be the change I wish to see in the world. To truly make the world a better place one day at a time. Even if it’s only in small ways.
6. To live a life of financial freedom.
7. To be kinder to myself and take better care of myself.
8. To find my inner peace and connect with the divine daily. I would like to be able to really feel connected everyday.
9. To make time to do what makes me happy everyday.
10. I need people, I wither when I don’t interact with people daily, multiple times daily. I need interaction, I love the positive energy.
11. The power of thought is still a work in progress, but I can grasp it somedays. The power of gratitude is really amazing!
12. Technology makes my life easier and more fun! I love it!

She also said: “I don’t know if this is what you meant, but this is what came to me. I have more simple pleasures in my heart; these were my what came up first. If you need me to change or edit, let me know.

I enjoyed this, thank you for including me. I hope you have a beautiful, creative and inspired day. I forgot joy and excitement! Goofiness too! I love spread joy and love and happiness!!”

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A dear soul, who is always opening her heart to others and providing a safe place, a warm smile and a twinkle in her eyes shared the following with me, after the devastating loss of her younger brother this year.

She said: Hmmmm….excluding people, this may be tough ~

*Health and well being of others
*Hopes to find happiness in/with my own life
*Always carry my childhood memories in my heart
*Animals, especially dogs, are near & dear to my heart
*Thoughts of all those in the military, serving our country

These are quickly off the top of my head…let me put the thinking cap on, focus a bit (away from work!), and finish this up in another message to ya  xoxo.

*Whereas my family unit is so dysfunctional, broken, torn apart, scattered…. I treasure, and hold near & dear to my heart, what few photos I have from when I was little .
* Remembering each and every conversation, and time I shared with my younger brother, who I lost at the beginning of this year.

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Next came someone who lives in my own heart and soul. A creative, moody and kind-hearted man, who wears his losses like a shirt and tie, found inspiration in coming up with his list below.

10 things I love besides people.

1.  Love the smell of oil paint in an artist studio.

2.  Love the way music climbs under my skin and jolts my emotions.

3.  Love to run my hands over wood to be used on a carpentry project.

4.  Love to breath deep while laying in my savasana at the end of yoga.

5.  Love it when i realize god is always standing by my side.

6. Love a really amazing mountain bike ride that pushes my limits.

7.  Love the way raw salmon taste and feels in my mouth.

8.  Love looking into ones eyes and seeing the beautiful spirit of kindness.

9.  Love crossing gigantic bridges over bodies of water.

10.  Love flying at night time with a full moon reflecting off every reflecting surface on the earth.

11.  Bonus!!! Love actually writing this shit!!!   So much, much more!!!

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The next list is from a woman I know. She is learning through her own struggles and successes. Her goal is to be a person who can offer understanding, support and openness to be a gift to many.

  1. Real connection with people
  2. Grace
  3. Trust
  4. To Laugh whole heartily & smile each Day
  5. Stability
  6. Wealth
  7. Health
  8. My business to be a destination spot
  9. My ranch retreat in Ventura
  10. Not be taken advantage of/used

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The following list is from a young lady who I had the pleasure of meeting last year. A vigorous learner of all things that are “self-‘love”, she has a deep desire to excel at all she endeavors. I have no doubt she will succeed.

  1. Love
  2. Light
  3. Emotion
  4. my wings
  5. peace
  6. my creativity (i always say it comes from my heart not my mind)
  7. music/song
  8. dance
  9. ENERGY

And another soul that I spend time listening and learning from each time she speaks as both a wordsmith and knowledgeable shaman, shared the following list:

  • My Love for God, Log Home in Big Bear, Fishing, Being with/in Nature, 20lbs lighter, Flow of Money, Play the Castanets, Balance Work and Play, Vacation in Paradise Village, Constant flow of clients…

thank you for asking…

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      This list will be in three parts, concluding tomorrow on Christmas Eve. Tis the season to give and receive. This has been a gift for me, thank you. I want to provide the place appropriately for all those who gave me their heart for the purpose of answering a simple question.

What is in YOUR heart? Part One

Painting by ChristopherPaul

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

A couple of weeks ago, I reached out to some 25 people asking a specific question. Several of the people I knew well and some only as acquaintances.  I asked the question: “What is in your heart?” I had absolutely no idea what this question would unleash in responses I received and the reaction of those who chose not to participate in answering the question.

My caveat to answering the question was limit it to 10 items and no specific person could be mentioned as being in your heart. There were some shared items from a few participants, but many who took this question to a whole new place.

When I asked this question, I didn’t realize the apparent complexity and fear it created in a couple of individuals. I had people call me and exclaim they had no idea how to connect to their heart, because they lived in their head… and the “heart” was a scary place to visit.

Others answered me within an hour, a seemingly simple enough question with a simple answer.

The answers remind me of how we are all connected. Each one of us, we are the same in our “essence” of being human and subjected to many of the same emotions brought on by outside circumstances. In other words, we all have our triumphs and struggles; many of them are shared as humans.

And in asking the question “what is in your heart”, meaning what are you connected to, have passion and love for beyond those close to you… it also solicits the query: “Now that you have illuminated what is in your heart, do you act to support what is contained there?”

How often do you do the things you love or live from your heart? That is the next question I want answered.

Yesterday I was sitting with Rev. Emma and her daughter Victoria; we were discussing the “heart list” as they had both been included in my original question.  Rev. Emma mentioned how we move from our head to our heart. When we bow our head and pray, what are we looking at? We have moved to being far less than the 18 inches from the top of our head to our heart…. we are now looking directly at our heart when we pray, our head is next to our heart.

And how do we maintain that connection at all times? That is another question I’d love to hear answers to….

Of the answers received there were a few items that popped up on more than one list:

1. God

2. Nature

3. Love

4. Freedom

5. Compassion

6. Loneliness

7. Joy

8. Pain

9. Trust

10. Laughter

I asked my youngest daughter who is 20, what was in her heart. She looked at me and rolled her eyes, the question did not compute. I’m guessing one day, she’ll be able to know as life brings more experiences for her to decide what that means to her in all its glory.

I am sharing my list of 10 items here; in my next post “tomorrow” will be answers to the question from all who shared with me….

My list:

  1. Nature: smell, sounds, sight, the feel—it is my church, my peace.
  2. The Universe, my higher power and all it provides.
  3. The smell of baked goods.
  4. The memories of those who have passed that I will always miss.
  5. Wide open spaces-its how I like to feel inside of me-spacious.
  6. Change: the experience of myself as I observe it all as seasons, reasons, destruction and creation.
  7. Compassion for myself and all beings in this world
  8. The bliss of my 5 senses, making this earth a sensual, loving, intoxicating and yummy experience.
  9. Feeling deeply connected to others through laughter, sadness and everything in between.
  10. Art and Beauty in its evocation, complexity, profundity and passion

I ask the question to everyone out there, what is in your heart? Besides a specific person, please elaborate on what that means to you; I would love to hear as a comment here or email me at Tracy@13degreez.com

7 Minutes to Love! Courage Baby!


This post is about 7 minutes long; it is packed with information. Please enjoy.

Nothing is ever as it appears.

No “story” is ever true told from one perspective, unless it is from the heart.

You want truth? Listen to your heart, not your head. It will tell you the truth about yourself, your life and others.

Courage (strength of heart) is a quality that is first and foremost on my list of importance in life. In myself, and holding a space for it in others.

I will not settle for cowardice in a mate; courage is that quality you can rely, because it is the only truth directly related to allowing and sustaining love in a partnership. It is the only real indicator that someone is really, really in your corner. The actions are real, not manipulative or punishing; courage stays with you through it all…yet, first you must find courage in yourself to have it in all of your relationships.

I am watching people come into my life now that are desiring and becoming courageous…or are teaching me more about courage.

My relationships not based in love and courage, will continue to naturally fall away; it’s too much sacrifice, disparity and pain when I am moving beyond my own stories that kept me prisoner. It is too difficult to “pretend” and go along with the story, which someone believes is true, allowing them to choose to remain handcuffed to their prison.

You don’t have to cut people loose, walk away or be a jerk. That can be a painful pattern, when you cut people off forcefully (unless its abusive). Instead, allow it to dissipate on its own. How? Take your focus off the person and put it on yourself.

Over and over if you must.

You will feel peace, not cut off and in pain. It takes a bit of reminding yourself, but the more you do it and stop blaming others for not being courageous-the more you will experience well-being.

The evolution of the heart expands and you bring in other like-hearted people. It’s true; I’m watching it happen in my own life.

We all have courage.

We just need awareness of all the excuses or stories we throw in the way, that keep us in inertia (call it a sense of false peace or contentment–its numbness), denial of our heart, compartments where like a drill sergeant we tell ourselves a story-so we buy it and never have to be courageous. Then we share these stories of ourselves with others, trying to convince them that they are true.

It is to live a life half-lived. 

You lose so much more than you gain, AND you tell yourself stories to make it OKAY about what you let go of in your life. So again you take no action, you live in denial . This way of living will never, ever bring you happiness.

Maybe you had courage at one point, but had too many experiences that hurt, disappointed or left you abandon. You closed up shop and called it a day.

Then there are people who stay stuck in this place and seem like they have it all together, and just maybe you’re the crazy one?

They may be such great storytellers, their lives in perfect order; appearances are deceiving too. Once in awhile their facade cracks and some truth from their heart slips out, oops that feels good….oops, I remember feeling like this before, NOW its time to panic. They backtrack, distance and can make another person feels koo-koo!

They come off coldly intellectual. Unfortunately, for them it’s a vicious cycle, until one day all that tight control gives out and the heart breaks through!!  Sometimes it happens. Maybe this person is YOU? Love is greater than fear.

Don’t wait for it in others, allow it in yourself. 

Courage and vulnerability are the only strength that is real in a human.

We all want to be fully seen and loved for who we are; the first step is to allow ourselves. Open to yourself, be vulnerable, have courage and others will see you as you are—dark, light and everything in between.

When you live your truth; it doesn’t matter if others agree, because “it feels right” to you.  You are connected to yourself and others. 

I know how difficult the transition is from being locked-up; believing the heart would lead me wrong or worse yet, LIE. I had closed off certain parts of myself, living in fear where I avoided things that may cause me to crumble into a pile of rubble. This could have been anything from a terse email to a committed relationship.

 And yet, at the time I told myself I was on this spiritual path and that I was just more advanced in my self-awareness! 

I remember the day my heart opened up and said, “This leg of the journey is over- new trip, new path, new map!”

You see, I had been wishing for true happiness, peace and love.

Well if you wish and pray long enough; it happens. BUT, if you are blocked off and think you’re okay, sorry to break it to you; you’re really numb! Be prepared to let go of the familiar walls, the fortress of a perfect facade and watch what courage and love will do–I wouldn’t trade my journey here for anything. Even the days I couldn’t get out of bed or I was writhing on my floor, when all I felt was pain raining down upon me. I knew if I went THROUGH it, the impossible would become possible in my life.

There are some who will never have courage. 

At some point in their lives, in their mind, too many things happened to hurt them, the way they recovered was to build walls, become numb and tell themselves they are self-aware and smarter than the  rest.

They got the system beat!

Some will stay locked in their prison, they may even tell others what is wrong with them.

They may come off as open and easy, until you get too close or the prospect of them possibly getting hurt or overwhelmed by opening their heart is too much for them to handle. Then they act weird. What they said yesterday, no longer holds water. The love they may have professed for you when their heart broke through for an instant, is replaced by a cold demeanor. It is crazy making … and hard to let go of, because the heart knows. The heart knows there is love, but it is thwarted by a wall.

The best gift is to not stop loving and build a wall; it is to keep love alive. Don’t beat it down. Don’t lock it in a box. Turn the love to yourself; be kind. Love freely and love others, I guarantee…somewhere, somehow someone will come into your life and match you there. I promise you will never be alone as long as you embrace love.

This does not mean to outwardly continue investing in pain with another. It is to love them, don’t purposely stop, allow it to change or shift…allow yourself to love.

Be courageous, through love comes resilience- you find you will be stronger to withstand most anything- you will be surprised. Walls ain’t got nothing on wholeness!

Do your best not to take heed of the words, well-meaning people have in telling you to move on, find someone else, tell someone off or to be strong. That is like going into major surgery and having your leg amputated, you are cutting off a part of you when you act in a way, which appears strong to others, but is really another battle with the heart and mind.

Allow it to be natural.

I am saying this from my own experience, once you stop the battle within to FORCE yourself to stop feeling a certain way, life gets easier…you find the “wonder, hopes and dreams” you lost touch with years ago.  Now with your heart leading the way its all possible.

Love is the freedom, the homebase, if you want to live your life in peace, happiness, fulfillment.

The numbness of walls separates; it holds in weakness created by the mind and its untrue story of love and others; it leads to being alone, involvement in activities meant to self-medicate including “supposed healthy” pursuits, anytime you feel cut  off- there’s a wall involved.

Have the courage to sit with it for a minute, see what feeling is below the numbness and you’ll find a low level of pain you call NORMAL. Maybe, you have had it so long, you figure that is your natural state of being. It’s not.

Maybe when you sit with your numbness, your walls, your boxes: you feel another  emotion, you see an image appearing unrelated to the feeling now, from years ago or one that fits your emotion…ask it questions, learn about the pain you hold….ask if its true?

Pain is a story.  It keeps us victims in our own lives. It keeps us repeating patterns of pain without our seeming awareness.

My favorite alternate tall-tale to creating stories in which you are the victim, are the ones in which you appear to have taken all the responsibility. It is the same thing.

It’s a story that remains on a well-known psychological paradigm: the victim triangle is the victim, perpetrator and rescuer.  

Again, anytime you have a story you cling to or are emotional attached to, you are not living full out. When you claim that someone did something to you and you list all of the things you did for this person; you are living in a helpless position.

You are maintaining a victimhood of all that has happened and courage is not part of the picture. Its difficult to recognize; breaking the pattern of living these stories.

Never believe anything that limits, blocks or throws up walls–it is fear; fear is not true.

Embrace who you are and what you know to be true for yourself.

I say these things based on my experience with “myself” and how I lived for many years. The funniest part was I USED TO THINK I was so strong, so did others–people told me this all the time….yet, I  always ran from anything which would have meant opening my heart, having a real commitment, not just to someone else, but to myself. 

I also watch my clients grow and blossom from their hearts-I watch them transform and have more peace, happiness and LOVE in their lives. 

My clients constantly break through to new ground in courage.

They open doors in different areas of their lives…one by one, out of their head and into the safety, contentment and love of their heart.  

If you want to know your greatest purpose, your greatest love, your greatest  happiness and feel whole, resilient and able to touch the stars with your  dreams…you’ll take the first step toward courage…then you will have it all.