The Invitation to Kindness

An invitation to kindness would seem a natural bestowal to extend to yourself and the rest of the human race. How often do you invite kindness into your “daily” life?

We talk about kindness as a staple of living, just like eating and sleeping. Yet, how often do you practice actual kindness? Not “being nice” (which is doing something for someone so they “think” you are wonderful or to get something in return), but being kind?

Kindness does not mean giving in or handing out.

Kindness OPENS the heart and quiets the mind.

In being and sharing kindness, you stand for yourself, but are mindful of the point of view and needs of others. If in a relationship, you always have the common goal as kindness, how could you possibly feel bad about your actions?

Kindness sure doesn’t qualify under self-flagellation. After all, if you are into kicking yourself every 5 minutes for a perceived mistake or analyzing the crap out of everything you do, kindness will continue to elude you.

Kindness toward others is not truly present when you are absorbed in this style of thinking, because when we punish our self, we punish the rest of the world too. It is a rather cruel cycle. And makes for a pretty unkind mood too.

Finding kind eyes in this world should be a daily pursuit, which starts when you wake up and look in the mirror. Have kindness in your eyes at the person looking back at you, they are doing the best they can do each day. Be kind.

Just think about how sincerely good it feels when someone is kind to us? They may ask our opinion, open our door, smile at us, hug us, show up when we need that shoulder, listen, love, and open-heartedly is in our corner. Many of us may be surprised when someone does something from the heart; we may not know how to respond or even trust it, because we have been withheld from authentic care and lovingkindness. And the best we can give back to our benefactor is to bask in the glow of their kindness. We all LOVE to know what we give is welcome, even if not a word of appreciation is ever stated….

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. ~ Lao Tzu

That quote is one of my favorites.

I pasted it here to decipher how kindness serves our best life.

Kindness in words creates confidence: Be aware of your words, are they only designed to win, crush the opponent and give you a moment of feeling righteous or superior? Do they steal your confidence or feed feelings of wholeness? When you speak to someone else are your words chosen with respect, value and honor for the other person and yourself? There are no instances in this world that even the most painful things you may need to utter, should not be done without kindness. No matter what words you choose, do try to connect with what represents the truth in your heart and soul. It makes it easier to start from there, before your mind becomes involved in what you speak. Use your words kindly.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  We have thousands of thoughts a day. What if you were to only “act upon” kind thoughts? How would that change your day or even your life? And what about those game-changing KIND thoughts that require a “leap of faith” or an “Act of courage” to implement, because they are so far out of your comfort zone? (And anyone who knows me, can hear me saying “Don’t ask WHY, say “WHY NOT?” There ain’t nothing holding you back, but you, so Just Do It, because the very ACT of doing, will create a WHOLE new REALITY for you!”) Use your mind kindly.

Kindness in giving creates love. Oh, such a beautiful sentiment. When you give from the heart, you always receive love in return. Even if the source of love is a different one than you have given. Giving from the heart not the head (the head might be a little more calculated ) is “truth in action”.  Anytime you withhold giving to another person when you really, really want to from your heart, you put up a wall to creating love. You instead manifest more fear and self-flagellation. Use kindness as a gift.

Withholding and kindness do not operate from the same roots. Yet, when we are being kind to our self, we are mindful of our energy, wants and needs. We respect our own boundaries and others. Kindess does not coexist in tandem escorted by withholding as its partner. To withhold does not create ease, comfort and happiness, because it is disingenuous. And it takes many forms, from outright abuse, to disconnecting, making false promises and anything else, which takes REAL kindness and replaces it with being “nice”.

Nice means to inauthentically commit to another through the “outward” appearance of the act of giving or doing, which oftentimes is meant to exceed expectations and break through the sound barrier. And there is a sense of obligation, duress or manipulation involved in anything “nice”.

Kindness on the other hand can also be given through a sense of responsibility, but it is a “clear” heartfelt understanding. Kindness may be stressful, at times when we commit to an act of kindness it may be at a HUGE inconvenience to you, but it feels good in your heart to provide. Kindness is not given to “get” anything.

Niceness requires appreciation; kindness has appreciation in the seed of its origin.

To be compassionate is to be kind. Forgiveness is also a form of kindness. Both of these are action words in the kindness library. And this isn’t just directed to others, it is directed inward to our own healing. Kindness is healing. It is self-love as an action word!

The more aware you become of your thoughts and how they affect your moods, the more opportunity you have to actually change your perception. We can pick and choose the thoughts we want to turn into a belief. We can choose thoughts which support an already upside down perception of ourselves or try a new one on in terms of kindness. Choose your kindest thoughts and take action. You won’t be disappointed by the miracles that abound. Not just outside of you but within you. You will start to feel different, as though you have more control over your life. And you may stop regarding certain aspects or the whole world as a dark, cold place where dreams are slaughtered.

Kindness in action will be a launching pad for dreams coming true, because everything becomes possible with kindness. 

I invite you to try on “kindness” at least a couple of times a day and see the difference in how you feel. I bet you’ll end up feeling more peaceful, whole, connected, loved and believing that you do matter all from just a few “ACTS” of genuine kindness.