This post is about 7 minutes long; it is packed with information. Please enjoy.
Nothing is ever as it appears.
No “story” is ever true told from one perspective, unless it is from the heart.
You want truth? Listen to your heart, not your head. It will tell you the truth about yourself, your life and others.
Courage (strength of heart) is a quality that is first and foremost on my list of importance in life. In myself, and holding a space for it in others.
I will not settle for cowardice in a mate; courage is that quality you can rely, because it is the only truth directly related to allowing and sustaining love in a partnership. It is the only real indicator that someone is really, really in your corner. The actions are real, not manipulative or punishing; courage stays with you through it all…yet, first you must find courage in yourself to have it in all of your relationships.
I am watching people come into my life now that are desiring and becoming courageous…or are teaching me more about courage.
My relationships not based in love and courage, will continue to naturally fall away; it’s too much sacrifice, disparity and pain when I am moving beyond my own stories that kept me prisoner. It is too difficult to “pretend” and go along with the story, which someone believes is true, allowing them to choose to remain handcuffed to their prison.
You don’t have to cut people loose, walk away or be a jerk. That can be a painful pattern, when you cut people off forcefully (unless its abusive). Instead, allow it to dissipate on its own. How? Take your focus off the person and put it on yourself.
Over and over if you must.
You will feel peace, not cut off and in pain. It takes a bit of reminding yourself, but the more you do it and stop blaming others for not being courageous-the more you will experience well-being.
The evolution of the heart expands and you bring in other like-hearted people. It’s true; I’m watching it happen in my own life.
We all have courage.
We just need awareness of all the excuses or stories we throw in the way, that keep us in inertia (call it a sense of false peace or contentment–its numbness), denial of our heart, compartments where like a drill sergeant we tell ourselves a story-so we buy it and never have to be courageous. Then we share these stories of ourselves with others, trying to convince them that they are true.
It is to live a life half-lived.
You lose so much more than you gain, AND you tell yourself stories to make it OKAY about what you let go of in your life. So again you take no action, you live in denial . This way of living will never, ever bring you happiness.
Maybe you had courage at one point, but had too many experiences that hurt, disappointed or left you abandon. You closed up shop and called it a day.
Then there are people who stay stuck in this place and seem like they have it all together, and just maybe you’re the crazy one?
They may be such great storytellers, their lives in perfect order; appearances are deceiving too. Once in awhile their facade cracks and some truth from their heart slips out, oops that feels good….oops, I remember feeling like this before, NOW its time to panic. They backtrack, distance and can make another person feels koo-koo!
They come off coldly intellectual. Unfortunately, for them it’s a vicious cycle, until one day all that tight control gives out and the heart breaks through!! Sometimes it happens. Maybe this person is YOU? Love is greater than fear.
Don’t wait for it in others, allow it in yourself.
Courage and vulnerability are the only strength that is real in a human.
We all want to be fully seen and loved for who we are; the first step is to allow ourselves. Open to yourself, be vulnerable, have courage and others will see you as you are—dark, light and everything in between.
When you live your truth; it doesn’t matter if others agree, because “it feels right” to you. You are connected to yourself and others.
I know how difficult the transition is from being locked-up; believing the heart would lead me wrong or worse yet, LIE. I had closed off certain parts of myself, living in fear where I avoided things that may cause me to crumble into a pile of rubble. This could have been anything from a terse email to a committed relationship.
And yet, at the time I told myself I was on this spiritual path and that I was just more advanced in my self-awareness!
I remember the day my heart opened up and said, “This leg of the journey is over- new trip, new path, new map!”
You see, I had been wishing for true happiness, peace and love.
Well if you wish and pray long enough; it happens. BUT, if you are blocked off and think you’re okay, sorry to break it to you; you’re really numb! Be prepared to let go of the familiar walls, the fortress of a perfect facade and watch what courage and love will do–I wouldn’t trade my journey here for anything. Even the days I couldn’t get out of bed or I was writhing on my floor, when all I felt was pain raining down upon me. I knew if I went THROUGH it, the impossible would become possible in my life.
There are some who will never have courage.
At some point in their lives, in their mind, too many things happened to hurt them, the way they recovered was to build walls, become numb and tell themselves they are self-aware and smarter than the rest.
They got the system beat!
Some will stay locked in their prison, they may even tell others what is wrong with them.
They may come off as open and easy, until you get too close or the prospect of them possibly getting hurt or overwhelmed by opening their heart is too much for them to handle. Then they act weird. What they said yesterday, no longer holds water. The love they may have professed for you when their heart broke through for an instant, is replaced by a cold demeanor. It is crazy making … and hard to let go of, because the heart knows. The heart knows there is love, but it is thwarted by a wall.
The best gift is to not stop loving and build a wall; it is to keep love alive. Don’t beat it down. Don’t lock it in a box. Turn the love to yourself; be kind. Love freely and love others, I guarantee…somewhere, somehow someone will come into your life and match you there. I promise you will never be alone as long as you embrace love.
This does not mean to outwardly continue investing in pain with another. It is to love them, don’t purposely stop, allow it to change or shift…allow yourself to love.
Be courageous, through love comes resilience- you find you will be stronger to withstand most anything- you will be surprised. Walls ain’t got nothing on wholeness!
Do your best not to take heed of the words, well-meaning people have in telling you to move on, find someone else, tell someone off or to be strong. That is like going into major surgery and having your leg amputated, you are cutting off a part of you when you act in a way, which appears strong to others, but is really another battle with the heart and mind.
Allow it to be natural.
I am saying this from my own experience, once you stop the battle within to FORCE yourself to stop feeling a certain way, life gets easier…you find the “wonder, hopes and dreams” you lost touch with years ago. Now with your heart leading the way its all possible.
Love is the freedom, the homebase, if you want to live your life in peace, happiness, fulfillment.
The numbness of walls separates; it holds in weakness created by the mind and its untrue story of love and others; it leads to being alone, involvement in activities meant to self-medicate including “supposed healthy” pursuits, anytime you feel cut off- there’s a wall involved.
Have the courage to sit with it for a minute, see what feeling is below the numbness and you’ll find a low level of pain you call NORMAL. Maybe, you have had it so long, you figure that is your natural state of being. It’s not.
Maybe when you sit with your numbness, your walls, your boxes: you feel another emotion, you see an image appearing unrelated to the feeling now, from years ago or one that fits your emotion…ask it questions, learn about the pain you hold….ask if its true?
Pain is a story. It keeps us victims in our own lives. It keeps us repeating patterns of pain without our seeming awareness.
My favorite alternate tall-tale to creating stories in which you are the victim, are the ones in which you appear to have taken all the responsibility. It is the same thing.
It’s a story that remains on a well-known psychological paradigm: the victim triangle is the victim, perpetrator and rescuer.
Again, anytime you have a story you cling to or are emotional attached to, you are not living full out. When you claim that someone did something to you and you list all of the things you did for this person; you are living in a helpless position.
You are maintaining a victimhood of all that has happened and courage is not part of the picture. Its difficult to recognize; breaking the pattern of living these stories.
Never believe anything that limits, blocks or throws up walls–it is fear; fear is not true.
Embrace who you are and what you know to be true for yourself.
I say these things based on my experience with “myself” and how I lived for many years. The funniest part was I USED TO THINK I was so strong, so did others–people told me this all the time….yet, I always ran from anything which would have meant opening my heart, having a real commitment, not just to someone else, but to myself.
I also watch my clients grow and blossom from their hearts-I watch them transform and have more peace, happiness and LOVE in their lives.
My clients constantly break through to new ground in courage.
They open doors in different areas of their lives…one by one, out of their head and into the safety, contentment and love of their heart.
If you want to know your greatest purpose, your greatest love, your greatest happiness and feel whole, resilient and able to touch the stars with your dreams…you’ll take the first step toward courage…then you will have it all.