The Pleasure Principle.


Heavily invested in working through our flaws, our issues and anything we deem an obstacle to happiness, love and success?

Often we forget to explore pleasure as we commit to this deep work.

We can’t help, but remind ourselves of what is wrong with our lives.

Perhaps, we believe we made tremendous¬†errors to get here, so we beat ourselves up for being stuck. It makes us crazy! We can’t stand being where we don’t want to be, and so we¬†overdo certain activities (sleeping, eating, drinking, etc) to blot out our displeasure.

A hint of pleasure might be present, as we embark on trying to forget the misery, or the helpless feeling of being stuck, but that pleasure dissipates, as we overdo covering it up.

Expectations, can be out of whack,¬†especially when it’s¬†to do with our lack of worth. It’s¬†depressing to prove ourselves through overwhelming demands, before we can be kind to ourselves.

Accomplishing¬†those expectations never feels like we thought it would. We’re still in a state of lack. If we’re depleted, nothing outside of us can fuel the tank, we have to do it. And the best way is through allowing pleasure.¬†

We have to get clear first–move past our own resistance, on what actually is pleasurable and not an escape from reality.

It’s bullshit to say¬†we cannot experience pleasure til the hard work is complete.

We have to believe we deserve it!

If we’re on a diet, we may spoil ourselves with a new piece of clothing or a favorite food once we hit a goal, but we make ourselves wait for that¬†joy. Why wouldn’t we treat ourselves kindly along the way, giving into pleasure, letting pleasure lead us rather than pain?

Some of us pretend to experience pleasure, we show the world, we’re all about it, but inside…..that’s a different story! We’re wrapped tight, watching our every move,¬†because the minute we screw up, we fear the criticism of others, and most of all¬†the inner critic within us.

Anything, in which we hold pleasure back, as though we don’t deserve it yet, is a disservice to our heart, mind and soul.

The pleasure principle is to be open to the unexpected, the abundant, because it will surely come when we give pleasure to ourselves every day!

Whatever we focus on¬†we attract. When we take pleasure in life, big or small, we’re magnetizing more of it to our lives. Focus on fear, and what we don’t want, and SURPRISE… it shows up sooner or later.

What we learn through pleasure matters and stays with us.

What if we were to accept everything in our life as good?¬†In spite of the things, which drive us crazy or that keep us awake at night? We have a choice in how we want to feel, even when we don’t have a choice of circumstances.

If we accept every little irritating circumstance, just as it is–which means we don’t have to love it, but stop fighting it and say ‘okay’ this is how it is right now, what does that feel like?¬†As though a weight has lifted?

When we focus on what is truly good and working in our lives, by not taking it for granted, and giving it our attention, we allow it to expand.

Just by this simple exercise, we create space for pleasure. Is it that easy? Not really, because we have to retrain our brains to get off the punishment and pain plan.

1. Write down a list of pleasurable things you can give to yourself.

2. Do one of those items (if not more) daily.

3. Accept your life as good. Even the things you want to change.

4. Find people to support the pleasure principle.

5. When you start punishing yourself, break up the crappy mantra in your mind, by DOING something, which gives you pleasure. (this is hard to do when you’re used to beating yourself up–it feels counter-intuitive–but do it anyway)

6. Start to expect more good¬†everywhere you go, no matter where it is you go…..create pleasure.

7. Say YES to life, even if you feel you don’t deserve it.

The more you say YES to the good, the pleasurable juiciness in life, the more you will have of it! It also helps your perspective when unfortunate circumstances arise, nothing is as bad as it used to be when you were in a constant state of hard work with little reward.

Three Life Choices


If you don’t like where you are, what can you do?

Join the circus? That’s a novel idea. It’d work if you have a special talent or want to learn how to be blasted like a cannonball through the air.

More or less, the common answer is to change, to do something, that would be different. And in reality-land, how often do people who are unhappy do this?

Most people don’t understand the source of their unhappiness. They’re just aware they don’t like how things are, and can’t accept it.

For things to actually change though, we have to accept ‘what is.’ By accepting it, we’re not in resistance to it and can therefore focus on what the real motivation (belief)¬†is when we look at our unhappiness.

In¬†gaining clarity….we can do one of three things when it comes to change.

The first is to stay in a state of resistance to change, then take flight and repeat.

Fear is the motivation for staying stuck and suffering. We may stay stuck until the pain of where we are is more than the fear of the unknown.

We¬†let go of the¬†outcome; we aren’t caring if our carefully constructed identity is destroyed or if rumors are true of our unrest. We just can’t stand it anymore. We need¬†change. Now. Sometimes this lasts….other times we go running back to the safety of the ‘known’ even if it sucks.

Lack in trusting ourselves or the unknown, we seek the familiar.

We can do this our entire lives. Staying in resistance.

If we don’t go running back,¬†we must stay¬†connected to ourselves, experiencing change as it happens, becoming emotionally present, setting our sails completely, in a new direction.

There’s no magic symbol outside of us; we must risk and move out of our norm to have what we want…..or we’ll always get the same results.

The second choice is to incrementally take action.

We¬†take action, piece by piece and hold our ground for that¬†truth‚ÄĒit’s uncomfortable (it should be or nothing really changes) as we¬†break a pattern.

Our pattern before taking action may be to¬†say or desire¬†things to be different, but the courage (strength of heart) is blocked by ‘what if’ I am wrong, ‘what if’ I destroy everything and ‘what if’¬†the sky falls‚Ķ.all is resistance. We may believe¬†we deserve the shitty situation we’re in, until someone finally grants us the ‘approval’ to move forth. It’s a long wait, perhaps a lifetime.

Setting boundaries is taking action.

Set one at a time to break up the patterns, instead of waiting for #1¬†to occur. Clarity on what’s¬†important, which¬†we’re¬†currently NOT standing for in our lives and then live into that boundary. Make it real. Want respect? Respect ourselves first.

Take action through the resistance. Don’t resist resistance, allow it to be, acknowledge it and move through it by focusing on the goal. Small goals and one boundary at a time empower us to make more changes. Leading to #3.

Third, Continuous action.

Say yes when we mean it, no when we mean it.

Don’t prove anything to anyone‚Ķbecome free.

Stop blaming others. Stop blaming ourselves

Get out of the box.

Think of taking self-inspired (desired emotion) action as helping everyone.

In¬†staying stuck, everything is a holding pattern, including other people. They’re stuck with us¬†right where we¬†are‚Ķ.until someone has courage.

Start taking action (big or small-consistency matters)¬†as¬†a benefit to ourselves¬†and others‚ÄĒKEEP IT GOING. Continuously doing what our heart desires— sitting with the urge to return to the status quo, the comfort zone‚Ķ.the longer we¬†sit (not resist) with the urge and view it realistically‚Ķthe farther we get from comfort and the more solid our NEW beliefs become, our¬†neuropathways in our brain will start to rewire themselves through continuous inspired action. It becomes the new norm.

What Your underwear Says About You.


If we really, really want something to change.

If we¬†really, really want to manifest good things in our life to give ourselves¬†joy, and bring the impossible to us….

Then we need to look at our underwear.


Many of us don’t place a lot of importance on our undergarments, because we don’t get the relationship or significance it has to how we actually feel about ourselves and what we deserve.

I was talking to one of my clients, about caring for oneself and all the ways we really live in scarcity.

Where we scrimp and compromise for ‘okay’ or ‘good enough’, and perhaps, even give little thought to how we shortchange ourselves. As she and I¬†discussed the lack of caring that went into how dressing for the gym or even for bed, was really a reflection of how we feel about ourselves….

I brought up underwear.

Not her underwear specifically, but how for many of us, especially the ones who are single and sleep alone (and for the married couples who have no intimacy, etc), we figure no one is seeing them, so who cares, right?

We see them in our drawer and are basically saying to ourselves, we’ll buy new undergarments when we have someone in our life who would appreciate it or some other excuse. Do we realize¬†what we’re saying to¬†ourselves, when we don’t treat ourselves as someone we love?

Many of us treat people we love a helluva lot better than we do ourselves, which means there is usually a deficit. It’s out of¬†balance; in truth, we can only give what we have plenty of or it is a sacrifice. ¬†One that eventually¬†turns¬†to resentment, since no one can ever appreciate us enough to make up for sacrifice. We have to value ourselves first, so we’re not thinking the only way to be loved is through people pleasing sacrifice.¬†¬†We have to fill up our loving cup first, which means what does our underwear look like? It’s a reflection.¬†

If our partner has holey underwear….what do we think?

Okay, so back to my client who happens to be a nurse.¬†In our ‘underwear’ conversation, she said “You wouldn’t believe some of the underwear I see coming into the hospital, not in a million years!” And I asked her, “What do you feel about the person when you see their underwear? What sort of identity or characteristics do you associate with them?”

She and I discussed it. She said on a first impression, she felt sorry for them, perhaps they were lonely, mistreated in some way or just didn’t care anymore. Exactly.

We all make a judgment call when observing others….negative or positive, we do it. What would our underwear reflect to others, as a statement of our inner world? Scarcity or abundance?

Even if we say we’re not settling; we believe¬†we’re loving ourselves and being kind, ...what does our underwear say?¬†

Is it in alignment with our goals?

Does it reflect our true feelings about what we deserve?

Are we so used to robbing Peter to pay Paul for the one thing we deem more important than another–instead of understanding how it impacts the overall picture? When we sacrifice or give away something to gain something…it is not done from a ‘there is plenty to go around’ perspective. We’re living in some form of scarcity in our lives. It is not fluent; it’s fragmented. Value is value.

If we want to manifest the impossible, we need to see where we deny ourselves what is possible, right now.

What do we pay no heed to in the way we treat ourselves, showing our brains¬†what we deserve? What are we waiting for–a sign, a nod of approval, meeting someone new, or winning the lottery? Look where we say we don’t care; where we will blow it off today as not being important, as something we’ll instead, worry about in the future and today, we can change it, we can start giving to ourselves right here.

Checking out our underwear…..our hygiene…..our outer self–how we care for us; does it reflect the inner scarcity or the inner abundance?

What does it say we deserve?

When we fill our loving cup, we know that there is always more….that we have it to give, because we’re not looking for validation or saving pennies to buy new underwear for a rainy day.

Changing our underwear can change our lives!

You owe me!


I hear this so often from clients: someone CAUSES us pain and therefore we’re owed something.

What is it exactly we’re owed?

Seriously, what do we want from that person? For them to treat us in the way we want? For them to realize we are the Sun in their Universe? What exactly are we wanting here?

I go to the mat with clients on this one, because of the following reasons:

1. We want validation from someone who is unwilling to give it and deprive ourselves by seeing it as outside of us.

2. There is an old need/belief in us that feels empty and we require this other person to fill it and that is impossible.

3. We take others personally and give meaning to the self-absorption the other person has as to mean something about us and our value.

4. We can’t force someone else to talk to us, or show up in a way that soothes our inner beast.

I’ve spent a good chunk of time in a session working with clients who feel like a victim to the words and actions of someone else. They want something and desire commiseration about their situation (usually getting frustrated with me, because I won’t play along). All the while, they aren’t caring how they allowed the situation to unfold.

When we’re unaware of how we’re driven/motivated and what we’re looking for from others to fulfill, we’ll always look to them as the issue. ALWAYS.

Most of us don’t know what we want from someone else, instead we have an expectation that they’ll show up in a way that makes us happy. And then they don’t. They fail and disappoint…then we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get them to act right and take responsibility….

And it remains a battle. 

It’s not about the other person. It’s about us.

If we have awareness of our subconscious belief, we will know that we have attracted someone who fits an old paradigm. A person who has qualities, which will recreate a situation to make the belief true. How many times do you remember feeling the same way over and over again? 

Once we have awareness of what is motivating or driving us to be attached to the outcome of a situation, we can understand how we allow it to happen in the first place.

We also can begin to really detach from our attachment to taking others personally with the realization of how much of our own inner life is built on trying to make us feel good (even when we practice behaviors, which appear to go against ourselves)…we may believe we must suffer to get to the good….and so, we pick a person who will mistreat us and then hope they’ll treat us with value.

If we take it a step further, it’s a reflection of how we don’t value ourselves.

Want change?

We have to give to ourselves what we think must come from others, we must be open to the universe/god/higher power {energy that already exists as infinite love} or whatever you want to call it, to feel the connection that is always there.

When we start fulfilling ourselves, we break down those old beliefs. When we stop taking others personally and objectively see their actions, we will make different decisions. When we get that we have the real control over our inner life, once we change some of our subconscious beliefs, we find true freedom and happiness. It’s truly an inside job!

There’s no applied force coming from us or “have to’s” in this context. Having a deeper understanding: we slow down, we become more present in the moment and see that our validation comes from within…

We owe it to ourselves. ūüôā

Do You Project Failure?


Often, we approach things with an attitude of CAN DO, when it comes to our goals. We say we’re going for it….and yet, how in alignment are our actions with the goal we want to achieve?

Sometimes, we have a goal that we think everyone will approve of and yet, we’re not really all that high on it!

And other times, even if we consciously believe we can get to the goal…our subconscious projects failure. Have you ever had that happen? Me too.

It sucks, because we start off with a¬†CAN DO¬†attitude and run into a problem, then we allow that problem to consume us or stop us. The reason the problem becomes an obstacle is our subconscious places it there…it projects it outwards.

Our subconscious is used to running the show, undercover. It learned about our place in the world at a very young age, it has been setting up our limitations ever since…and so, when we go beyond our current capacity, we receive pushback from our subconscious. It finds ways to make us stop; it’s how we sabotage ourselves.

I posted a quote on my¬†FB page¬†yesterday,¬†“Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”¬†~Carl Jung

And until we really gain some clarity, about our thoughts and behaviors, we will continue to stay in a loop….always finding the same issues and never moving past them.

I remember sitting with a crappy feeling recently, it was in relationship to another change I was making, I realized my feeling this way was an indication of the resistance my subconscious was creating to try and keep me safe (and unhappy). Our subconscious operates on these patterns, because it is protecting us.

We give so much meaning to these feelings of resistance that we go out and create failure to support them! Watch how your behavior aligns with those cruddy feelings….and the sense of relief you get when you fail. Seriously, there is a sense of relief that now you’re off the hook. On the other hand, it gives you more ammunition to not rise back up and go forth toward your goal…

The key is to place awareness on the feelings of resistance, realize your subconscious will look for things in your environment to become an obstacle to your goal…it looks for the familiar and that’s where your focus will be…it’ll be on¬†“this always happens”¬†or¬†“nothing looks different,”¬†even though I am working my ass off! That is YOUR subconscious, it’s an illusion…all you have to do is get clear on this…see it, know it and then in spite of what it looks like…GO FORTH!

When we reach new levels of change with ourselves, we must understand there will be new ceilings to bust through, it is an ongoing process, because our subconscious will always look for what is familiar, safe and keep us stuck there as long as we allow it….AND…

If we have goals that we don’t want, but someone told us would be good for us…this can keep us in a place of PURPOSELY projecting obstacles into our path. Looking at our goals and getting clear on if we want them or we’re just trying to do what is expected will allow us to come to a choice. When we come to the choice, just be aware that if we’re used to pleasing everyone else….it’ll feel like a HUGE resistance to actually go against the “expectation,” but when we do…we’re really forging our own road to happiness.

Want happiness, freedom, success? Abundance? Start placing awareness inside of yourself…pay attention and see how your thoughts, feelings and behaviors end up in your life….all around you. What we do in one area, we usually do in another area!

If you would like to get out of your own way and want some help getting there, please email me, I am here to help. Tracy AT Tracycrossley dot com

Recognizing Value or You Get What You Pay For!


I used to be a BIG believer that you could find the same thing for less, whether it was getting a designer dress on sale or a decent mechanic.

I also used to have almost no wealth consciousness or basically, “a general level of scarcity.”

I never understood why people paid a lot of money for certain things, when less expensive items/services were just as good. I figured some people were just into making a statement with a label or they had something ostentatious to draw attention to their success.

It wasn’t until I really started getting my own value, that I understood the differences in spending money. There is investing money and spending it frivolously. One is related to abundance and the other to scarcity.¬†

We each possess an inherent value in relation to money. Some of us work for w-a-y less than our REAL worth and some of us are paid for OUR value. We may complain or feel stuck earning far less than we deserve; we’re not happy, BUT IT’S OUR CHOICE. We live in fear and settle.¬†

When we’re too afraid to leave behind that, which does not really serve us financially and we hold on for dear life, because we feel it’s too much risk to go for what we truly want…we’re not living.

In a place of surviving for a paycheck, we live in scarcity. If we don’t spend money, because we’re afraid that we won’t have enough…we’re putting ourselves in a permanent “time-out,” as though we’re serving a penance (this is different than saving for a house or car or something we want)…

On the other side of existing for a paycheck, we stay in scarcity by spending money frivolously. We piss it away trying to escape the pain of half-living! We may live paycheck to paycheck and never get out of this vicious cycle.

In having my own business now and coming from having put myself through the 9 circles of hell financially, I speak from a perspective of value equals abundance and unworthiness equals scarcity. 

As I grew to value myself, I became more abundant.

Abundant in how I see myself, others and life in general. As I grew, I started charging more for my services. I realized when I didn’t charge my value, I’d feel tired, and not as focused, it was like a heavy weight to me to work for less than my worth (and if you’re just earning a paycheck–you know this feeling). Now, I only give specials, which are in complete alignment with abundance and me energetically.

I don’t actually help someone by charging them less, I instead, further enable their scarcity.

When I started charging more, I was afraid to spend any money.

I would cringe and get anxious, every time a friend of mine told me to buy myself something (considering I hadn’t bought myself a decent outfit in 5 years, this was almost ridiculous). When I finally decided to, I made it fun! Only buying what I truly loved and that it MUST reflect the HAPPINESS inside of me! Totally in opposition to my old scarcity!

What we spend money on and the feeling we have about it is a direct reflection to the relationship we have with ourselves. If we feel we’re worth it, we may spend money on what deeply pleases us or help us to grow.

When someone pays for a coaching package with me, I know they feel worthy of the commitment they’re making! And if someone struggles with the money commitment and decides not to–but needs it, then the question is…“what is it costing YOU if you don’t invest?”¬†

When we really value ourselves, we may get a bit scared with getting out of our comfort zone in our financial spending and goals, but it’s the only way we truly grow.

Wanna be rich? Value equals Abundance is key!

Spend to invest in ourselves–our happiness. Whether it is a house, a purse, a coaching package, a vacation–it reflects our inner world.

I pay others their full value. I NEVER would have in the past and yet, as I sit on the eve of making a MAJOR life decision, by forking over a very large chunk of change to hire a coach for my business…I know I could offer no less for myself or the value I receive for the service.¬†

We get what we pay for and if we pay someone for a service who doesn’t value themselves enough, it’s reflected back to us in how we don’t value ourselves. The Universe keeps us in direct alignment with each other. If I make a quantum leap, so do my clients and vice versa.



Believing and Well…..Believing, Part 1

How to begin this post?

First, the key is ABUNDANCE in all things.

I am stating it as though I just learned this concept, but it REALLY clicked!

Believing in scarcity creates fear, tightening of the belt, not making decisions to bring you FULFILLING success and leaves you feeling stuck. Why? It’s the fear of ending up with NOTHING!

I am okay with nothing; as long as I keep moving toward what I believe will happen for me. I make a¬†left turn, instead of a¬†right one.¬†I’ve also learned what the words,¬†synchronicity, dreams, acceptance, peace, unconditional love, kindness and self-love actually¬†mean for me–rather than just lip service or the place more fortunate human beings make decisions from…I have learned these are my deepest truth.

Abundance creates a straighter path to your goals; when you risk by making choices which could be scary, but are “in-line” with your goals–you are holding up your end of the bargain!!

In essence, you are stating: “Obstacles will NOT hold me back; I BELIEVE¬†I will attain this goal or maybe even something better!” And the Universe jumps right in by providing you opportunities to get there!

When we come from scarcity, you may as well say your evening commute home has an extra 50 miles every night. And as you drive this l-o-n-g road home, your only thought may be worrying if you have a home when you get there! What if something happened while I was gone? What if the house blew up? Or its been repossessed—I won’t have the safety of my home anymore!! Oh my!!! Even though, I am not crazy about that home…its the home I know!! Now to live from your heart and what you want in your life, sometimes you have to give up the long zig-zagging drive, put the home you know–up for sale, so you can move onto a happier, more satisfying place to hang your bird feeder.

When making commitments to believing certain things are gonna happen for you, it creates a Universal shift.

Especially when you start making different decisions outside of your comfort zone. New choices targeted to what you want to manifest in your life.

My life has already changed since making those declarations almost a month ago! Seriously…that is why this is going to require a few posts backtracking over the last 5 days.

I noticed early last week that little symbols of synchronicity were appearing in my life. Items such as sunflowers, ladybugs, hummingbirds, butterflies, pennies and white feathers are some of the guideposts I keep an eye out for on a regular basis.

One evening, I was moving my comforter when I saw something small and red. I swiped it off my bed, as I was moving my hand I touched it,¬†realizing¬†it was a ladybug. I looked on the floor, but couldn’t find the ladybug–so strange considering none of the windows or doors were open in my home. The next morning I came back from the gym and the ladybug was on my pillow, I sat down and it crawled onto my finger. Little did I know this would be the start of so many messages I’d be receiving the past several days.

Last Friday, I was going on a road trip with my daughter to the wedding of a dear friend. I was so excited to be going, which is quite different than how I used to feel about weddings. I decided to treat the week-end like an adventure, being in the groove of the living! It was going to be “fun”, going with the flow and being happy in the moment.

We hit no traffic on the way up to the mountains, although I did receive a speeding ticket (and hey, the officer was kind enough to take 6 miles off the speed), I didn’t allow it to alter my mood. We arrived and immediately went up into the mountains. We got out at one dirt trail wearing our flip flops (the thought never occurred to change shoes) as we were trying to locate a beautiful site I remembered from my last trip there. We found it with ease and my daughter was amazed at its natural beauty.

I love nature and if I could live in a hammock between two trees, I would be pretty happy!

As I went to bed that night, I inhaled and exhaled, letting myself accept all that is not happening in my life and what I have lost along the way, giving way to allow myself peace. Little did I know the dream I would have that night; followed the next morning by the CRAZY synchronicity, which happened as I came to the deepest place of acceptance, love and truly letting go. Giving my “unresolved wants” up to God/Universe.

Stay tuned for my next post on my dream, THE CRAZY SYNCHRONICITY, what I made peace with…why believing, trusting and having faith in yourself and a higher power really do make things easier, if we just allow it! Til then….be well!

Say a Little Prayer

Yesterday was a pretty busy day for me. In the afternoon, I had a client and afterwards I taught a class. My client is a poet. It was her birthday and so, along with a couple of other goodies…I decided I wanted to provide a special gift.

The evening before, was Open Mic in the space where my coaching office is located. Open mic started a year ago and had one guest the first evening. This past Friday night, there were 25 people in attendance. Amazing!

The environment is safe, warm and inviting to all. My client, the poet, read aloud her collection of three poems. She attends the Open Mic monthly and has developed quite a reputation for her lively, sultry poetry. She has grown in confidence and presence; it was lovely to witness.

As she read one of her poems, I was listening to what the meaning was for her as to why she wrote it; it was a poem about her soulmate coming into her life. It was almost like a prayer.

It got me thinking. A prayer. Yup, her birthday was the next day and it was time to turn that poem written from her heart and soul into a prayer. The place in which my office, Que Linda Tu is located employs individuals five days a week who provide massage therapy, aromatherapy, reiki, readings, energy work and more.

Yesterday, I ask Ken who started a prayer circle in this sacred space if he would work with our poet. And I ask the poet if she would like to engage in creating a prayer for herself from that poem. She agreed and so did Ken.

They sat on the floor and started to dig a little deeper into the poem, into her heart and beyond her mind. We moved beyond what she had felt possible for herself and into what she believed had been impossible for years. The prayer was made and already the prayer circle widened. I know this prayer will come true.

This young man has already worked with two other people in creating their prayers. Both of these people came back right away, to let him know that within a month their prayers had come true. Magic? Or is it the power of belief and intention in a clear statement of desire? It seems having more minds holding your prayer for you also moves it along; whether you call it a prayer, the law of attraction or just believing….it really does work. I have read how people have been healed of all sorts of ailments and at the other end of the spectrum, I have read how dreams come true with all that focused intention.

Sometimes it takes a village. And as always, we are connected to one another and when one receives, we all receive. I too, decided to take my belief that I have been holding on my own and share it yesterday too. Something I used to believe was impossible, I now believe possible…it will come true.

I would love to hear about people manifesting their desires whether through prayer, writing it down, a vision board or whatever tool has helped you to create something you wanted in your life. Please email me at or please leave a comment.

Journals-the fun!

Early this morning, I was thinking, which is hard to do when it is “early”. As I was going up and down on the elliptical at the gym about journals. At the same time, I was also reading a book and staring at the ceiling in my “own private Idaho”. I go to the gym at the crack of dawn, so that I am not fully awake to realize that I am actually working out…I really do look forward to this time everyday. It allows me to slowly wake up to life without feeling like I am in a hurry each day. And even better, because I am a self-professed book lover, I use the time to read away!

Back to journals though, there are so many reasons to own a journal or three, in fact I think I have “five” separate journals. They all participate in my life in a different way….and to be honest, I don’t write in them everyday. I’d like to do so daily, but sometimes I am just not in the mood. I would rather do what I am in the mood to do, instead of making journal writing a chore. And therefore, some of the journals sit for days, weeks or even months. Sometimes I end up writing on sticky notes or I’ll take a notepad to write one of several things that is on my mind or in my heart. And if no paper is available, I’ll make a note on my phone to be later transferred into one of my journals.

I advise my clients to utilize journals too. Not as a task, but for a variety of reasons. First off, a journal isn’t just a journal. Sure, you can keep a daily record of events in your life from losing a pound to the weather and how it affected your daily run. The reason I have 5 different journals is to capture different elements to my life in a focused manner. Instead of having a mish-mosh of thoughts, feelings, desires and¬†inspiration–I let having separate journals serve the purpose of organization and intention. A journal doesn’t have to be a traditional journal either. One of mine is not a traditional “JOURNAL”; its a sketchbook, which acts as a journal too, whether I am pasting pictures of things I want in my life on its pages or drawing how I feel–my sketchbook is something I cherish.

Another one of my journals (which I ask my clients to also keep) is a manifestation journal. Yup, I write all the things I want to manifest inside of this little book. Big or small things, I feel it has a magical quality, because I believe the words I am writing as the ink flows from my pen to paper. At the beginning of the book, I have my own little statement about its contents. Some people may choose to call it a prayer journal, where they have written their prayers into for them to be answered. Either way–its definitely a high recommendation on my list, because it is a happy little book.

My abundance journal is combined with my gratitude (appreciation) journal. I like to look at what I am fortunate to have in my life and how abundantly I am provided for in terms of appreciation. It gives me a sense of gratitude that I am here and alive, so why not enjoy what I got right now?! Of course, there is always the desire for things I do not have, but I believe they will come in their own time.

My journal of favorite quotes and things I want to remember that I have heard or seen is another goodie! Whenever I see something that catches my eye, read something inspiring or hear something beautiful, I scratch it down in this journal. I don’t know about you, but me….I forget more than I remember if I am left to my own grey matter for retention. Haha!

And lastly, I have the journal that I write in when I am struggling with something. I know that if I cannot speak about it with someone, the next best thing is to write about it. Seems that it gives me a whole new perspective or at the very least, I feel lighter after writing in it–its almost automatic for me as I write, pages get filled up in mere minutes. And then I may keep them for awhile or go in and gently tear them out of the journal. It’s a way to vent at times and for me, I don’t need to revisit those words on the pages. If they are still inside me then they will come up again. I used to hold on to journals for years—then I realized it felt like such a heavy weight, I started tossing them. I had held onto them with the thought, I would want to read them over again to see how far I have come in my own personal growth or to possibly get a better understanding of myself. Instead, like I said, they were more of a heavy weight; a tool I used at a certain time in my life to put all the ugliness I felt inside onto the outside. It is cathartic to write it, but it is even better to let go of it!

There are many more reasons to start a journal. I used to keep journals for all three of my kids when they were growing up–so we could remember the events in their young lives. I have friends who like to keep dream journals, tracking their dreams, looking for symbols and meaning. I have also had a synchronicity journal, one in which I recorded all happenings in m life of synchronicity. For me, having so many journals is great, each has its own home inside of me. I’d love to hear feedback on how you utilize a journal or what a difference a journal has made in your life.

Matching Words

As I addressed in my last post, the removing of self-sabotaging action and having an awareness of your core beliefs are pretty much the key to watching your life manifest abundantly and to living the life you dreamed for yourself. (And in the future, I will address belief systems, patterns, thoughts, self-love and honoring yourself in upcoming posts.)

Many times when we put our manifestations to paper, whether it is in the form of present tense writing, “I now have the love relationship with my best friend” to ” My bank account is now abundantly overflowing with money” or finding pictures in magazines of exactly what we want and putting it on a visionboard, only to find nothing happens. Isn’t there supposed to be a matching correspondence in reality of the things I say I want for myself? Yes, and there is, many times when we say these things we are not “feeling” that way, yet. No matter how hard you try, you aren’t truly believing you can have what you want on some level. It’s hard to conjure up the feeling into a belief when all proof in the past has shown you the opposite. And the longer you have been on this planet with self-defeating patterns, which create the questions, Why me? Or Why does this always happen to me?, it seems downright impossible to believe anything will truly change.

What can you do?

The great thing about being alive is this is a journey. We are all on a path never really arriving at a destination; travelers who if we are paying attention get to learn and grow throughout this trip. Growth is a process and so is dropping old beliefs that don’t work as adults. We created some of our beliefs as strategies to survive our childhood emotionally, to make ourselves invulnerable–no one likes pain (which is another topic I will get to in another post). What worked at “5 years old” doesn’t work at 35. ¬†And so, at any point in time you can make a decision to develop self-awareness….this leads to authenticity. When you authentically know yourself and aren’t listening to the stories of “who you should be”, unreachable expectations, and all the drama that makes up a “story” you believe and tell about yourself… get the gift of self-love.

So again, how do you manifest what you truly want into your life while you are getting through the layers of belief which hold you back?

In the Law of Attraction it is really about ¬†“what you feel” more than the words you use that creates a magnetic pull toward creating your reality. Think about it, in the past when you are laser-beam focused on a tangible goal, one you believe you can have–something you feel you deserve, you can see it, smell it, taste it–it is that real to you! I am talking about something like landing a major client; starting a business; buying your first house, and knowing there is nothing that will stand in your way! Notice how you “energetically” feel yourself moving toward your goal.There is a feeling of “having” it, almost a magnetic force you feel in doing what you can to get to your goal. Now take that feeling and put it toward something you want very badly, but have given up on…..what happens? Do you feel like you have it or have you lost some of the energy, the momentum and have doubts¬†started creeping in? Ugh! Right? It’s not about defeat, its about boogeying on down the road! Soooooo…. what do you do in the here and now to get some mojo going? ¬†Try this….

Grab a clean sheet of paper and pen, take a few minutes to think of what you really want. And then be ready to put pen to paper. Write down your manifestations. But, before every manifestation use the words “I am in the process of”….as in, “I am in the process of having a loving relationship.” Like one of my all-time favorites: “I am in the process of letting go of suffering now.” “I am in the process of buying my dream house”, etc… you see in reality, the minute you think about something you want, the process has begun, right? So…we are always in the process of going somewhere.

And….here are some other ways to start a manifestation, which keep you in the present moment and create a true match “energetically” to “the words” you are stating in describing what you want. Its that simple, match where you are, not where you believe it to be impossible…or it just stays impossible. Try starting a manifestation with any of the following:

“It excites me to see myself ____________”

“I am committed to______________”

“When I think of_________I am excited”

“I am leaving behind______________”

“I am actively_______”

“I am believing_______”

“I’ve decided___________”

“I love seeing myself___________”

“I love what______”

“I love how_______”

“It’s exciting to believe______”

If you would like more, please email me at I’d be happy to share more manifestation starters with you!