Why sound like you’re offering me a choice, when you’re going to do what you want anyway?

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Standards, boundaries, rules…whatever we wanna call them. Ever notice when we are trying to uphold some new ways of being, allowing and saying okay to certain things, that a backlash occurs?

Our relationships where we’ve been a doormat, accommodating or not having a strong sense of sticking to what feels good to us, all of a sudden are put to the test.

We have someone who wants us to do it their way, for their good, but try to dress it up, as though there is a choice in there for us, when there’s none!

It happens.

This person is used to getting their way, once we have shown some vulnerability. Let’s say Joe Shmoe (or Julie Shmoe) has turned up on our doorstep. They pledge their undying love, saying things will be different and proposing a future filled with candy hearts and chocolate boxes!

We still have feelings for this person, we’re hearing words we wanted to for so long, but we look to the past, when it was more like we received an empty box of chocolates.

We look to how we’ve grown, we’ve set some standards in our life and we’re really starting to embrace them. There’s some self-esteem, some confidence, some self-love and all sorts of other self-caring goodies there….and it is all at risk.

Risk is good when it is related to taking a chance on being open, vulnerable, changing the stale status quo, etc. But what about when it comes to something that has been a proven disaster, which has more than likely not changed?

If this Joe or Julie, shows up in the same way–pleading their undying love that they have 20 other times in the past, do we really think, anything besides their words have changed? And if they have changed, how do we proceed?

It’s a tough one, but if we look at the giving and receiving part of the past….how much of a flow was it? How many blockades stood in the way?

So, when the puppy dog eyes are offering a new proposal…and we cave in, saying, “Okay, I feel the same way too.” What happens next?

If Joe or Julie are the same, we can be assured that they’ll now not be in fear of losing us….no. They’re back in the driver’s seat. And when we approach them to discuss how things will proceed, they can sound like we have a choice, but in actuality we don’t. They are still doing what they want anyway, which means running over our boundaries and having a relationship based solely on their terms.

All the work we have put in, we can see it being overtaken by anxiety. We don’t know what to do, but depending on how strongly we feel about how we want our life to look, we will try to hang onto our self-respect and please this runaway partner.

I speak to both men and women who experience partners such as this in their lives. It’s a hit and run, once they know they have us back where they want us, they bring out the big guns and aim it at us, knowing in the past they would get it their way.

The key in a situation where we are threatened with losing our esteem for ourselves, is to take a step back.

Stop all action, all momentum, all words and go within.

Spend as much time as is necessary there.

Getting clear on how our lives look, what we truly want and may feel we don’t deserve (a really great relationship with someone who respects our boundaries in a positive and loving way) is pivotal to understanding why we lose our power to this person who wants to give us no choice.

We can love someone, but we don’t have to make a choice to lose ourselves. We don’t have to give up on us, to not be alone or to keep someone around who can’t give us what we need. We can maintain and observe. We can watch and learn. When we feel educated enough, we can make a decision, which feels right, “to us.”

 

Power of Submission

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I thought the title was more catchy than the power of acceptance, but really….the opposite of resistance, is submission.

And in the context of power, the submission is not necessarily to another person, but to the circumstances as they are, and not how we want them to be.

What we resist, persists.

I speak with people all the time. many remind me of how I approached change with myself. I would seek out help, and then decide somewhere in there that I could just do it on my own. I could save myself time and money…and get there just as quick! After all, who knows me better than me?

Well…yeah. My resistance was not helping me, and as someone pointed out, if I went on my own, it would take me far longer to get where I wanted to go…and she was right.

I was still a bit of a control freak. I thought I was open, but I wanted it all to be my way. I thought I could immerse myself in books, here someone speak and change. Except, it took me a long time, because I was only grasping things intellectually.

To change our lives on a deeper level, we have to submit to change…to things being different than our familiar way of our patterns.

I can hear it when I am speaking to some people, who swear up and down, they cannot handle their circumstances anymore, but at the same time they want to defend their stance.They resist a different path.

Whenever we think of change, we want to be at the end result, the goal. We hope change will come in the middle of the night while we’re sleeping and we haven’t had to go thru any struggle or questions surrounding our actions….basically, we want change to just slip in the backdoor.

Instead, we resist the very things we want in life.

We say we want to be with our soulmate…

We say we want a great relationship….

We say we to understand ourselves better…

We say we want to be happy…

And so on.

As long as we do not submit to what is and accept it, whether it means we must forge ahead with change, or allow our circumstances to remain without trying to change other people then our resistance will continue and what we don’t want will continue……until we just can’t stand it anymore…

And then…we may be able to talk ourselves into numbing out to stay in a state of resistance. We can distract ourselves. We can numb out, or only express frustration and anger at certain moments…and then go right back into the state of quiet battle.

Sacrifice is not submission, it is another way of denying change. To submit is power. It says, my battle is not with life or someone, I accept all that is and hold myself responsible, so that I can create the life I want.

When we are not focused on the resistance, we can create. Our lives are a creation, so why not make our lives about being in a flow to go where we want?

Say “okay,” to what others want. It doesn’t mean, we do what they want or even think it’s a great idea; it just means we’ve acknowledged what they want and we are allowing them to do that without our resistance.

I spent a lot of time in my younger years helping people, who said they wanted my advice. I would get so frustrated when they wouldn’t follow it. I’d want to change their lives for them, or get them to do the right thing in my eyes….it took me a long time to understand, it’s not my decision…their life belongs to them no matter what my perception was of their actions.

When we perceive someone as wrong, or want to control another’s actions, we’re not living our life. We’re resisting our life, by ignoring it and what we need to do for ourselves. When we gossip, we’re in a state of resistance.

One way to tell, is the physical feeling that comes from the energy held in resistance. Everything feels tighter, tense and heavy. When we let go and submit to what is, we feel lighter, happier and able to see more clearly…so we can create our lives.

The more we submit, the more we create and the more we say okay to change. The inertia we feel or the walls we have around us, are meant to be broken through…if we allow them to remain, we won’t really change (or it may take us 50 years longer if we do it ourselves), we’ll keep doing things the same old way and read a book–thinking we now get it and we’ll continue in a state of resisting life.

 

 

 

Chasing Life

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Life is a journey, right?

Sometimes it comes easy and at other times it feels like we’re out there rock climbing without a rope.

I come from a place of being a doer.

I am all about taking action.

I often talk about mental masturbation as a place we can get stuck for eons, and talk ourselves right out of taking action toward what we really want.

I’ve taken action for a multitude of reasons in my life; motivated by excitement or motivated by fear. Many times I also took action, because it was “my pattern, my way, of operating without much thought, because action was on autopilot.

My discovery was the action I took in “autopilot” sprouted from this fear, that if I don’t go after it, then it’ll not be there. It pushed me out there; I thought no one would know me or find me, so my job was to tell others to need me in certain situations.

I had to sell myself and show my value, so I wouldn’t starve or be forgotten.

Sigh–so tiring, right?

I recently found I was still doing it in places. In fact, I had a dream, where I kept asking people in the dream for attention, for what I wanted and give them no room or space to figure it out on their own.

I, physically, felt how I was going against myself and my gut. I knew that in the rapid-fire way of asking someone to give me attention, I was feeling worse and worse about myself in this dream.

When I woke, I thought of my recent “lightbulb moments.” They were connected. I had always been chasing life, perhaps not as overtly or often as I used to, but when it came to my basic needs there definitely was still the fear driving me.

I’ve been without a home, without food and when I was a lot younger, I lived in my car for a bit of time (more out of stubbornness than necessity) too.

I realized my lack of trust was still there; I didn’t believe things would work out for me. I didn’t trust my value, and I was so focused on a pattern (a major one) repeating in my life, apparently against my will, that I was disconnecting from me and my truth.

Confusion is the sign of a lesson.

Clarity has been uneven for the past 6 months. I have spent time really searching inside myself for clarity, for the karma in my life that apparently is standing in the way of where I intuitively feel I am supposed to be.

What am I talking about?

When we are on a path, paying attention to our inner calling, it’s not alway clear that life will fall into place. Often it does not and we can take it as a sign to jump off the path or stay with the course. Clarity often comes last.

I must continue the course. Intuitively, I know it’s where I’m headed. When we stay on the challenging path, it’s where our karma lies to be balanced, to teach us, so we grow. For me, it’s been either action or allowing. Desiring to be in alignment and accepting circumstances as they are instead of trying to change them all the time. What is my lesson?

Make sense?

I’ve come to clarity with more to come.

First,  there’s no purpose in exhausting ourselves to chase life.

Second, the lack of trust in ourselves and the Universe can cause us to get stuck in the same pattern over and over, trying to teach us what will actually simplify our lives.

Third, if we keep turning events and our reactions to our inner wisdom, clues do show up and one day we have an epiphany telling us the path we’re on is purposeful. Our perspective shifts and we start to see the opportunity rather than the challenges.

Fourth, the recognition of our own value comes from connecting and re-connecting (no one is connected to themselves 24/7) to our truth and staying with it, no matter what the path looks like ahead.

Fifth, no one else can offer proper judgment on our karma. We’re here to grow and learn. We are not on our own timetable, there is no rushing and chasing that needs to happen. We can relax and have faith that our challenges will give way to enlightenment and success.

 

 

 

How do we move on, when we can’t?

Well-meaning friends and family wish we would just move on. Why can’t we just follow their words and make the leap?

What keeps us hooked in an unsatisfactory relationship or one that is over and we still old on to for no clear reason.

We may feel a sense of shame when we’re stuck. Perhaps, we’re just scratching our heads ,as to what is wrong with us? Something that we don’t even understand, because logically we know it’s time to move along in our lives.

What keeps us in dead end situations? Many of us have found ourselves not letting go, some crazy hope somewhere is alive within us.

The funny thing is if we actually stepped out of the fantasy of having this person we’re connected to as our partner and looked at the reality, we’d have to ask ourselves what we’re actually getting, right? The fantasy of “what could’ve been or if only they’d wake up,” is what movies are made of, but in real life, it’s good to get clear on what keeps us torturously connected to a situation we really would be much happier without. 🙂

Let Go and Live

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Thoughts can weigh us down, especially when we don’t realize there is a whole other way to approach our life.

The freedom in not thinking, rationalizing or brooding over something(someone) we want to fix, change or grow is as Einstein said, “I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.”

Focusing on creation is the heart beat of life; it’s where the small seed resides, which leads us to the next discovery, opportunity and way out of the prison of fearful, trapped thoughts.

The merry-go-round of thoughts over and over waiting for something to change or thinking how to force change upon circumstances outside of us is anything, but creative!

I’ve learned more and more to focus on what I want to create, less on what is not working and letting go of what I cannot control. The more we release the heavy burdens and fearful thoughts causing us stress of what we cannot control….the more room there is for creativity.

To create means it builds upon itself, there is no linear path and there’s no stop sign (Stop signs exist in our head); we may choose to make a left turn, but if we’re really in the thick of our creative focus…whatever direction it leads is okay. We cannot predict or know the road we have not yet traveled.

To be okay and accept the place we currently are IN THIS MOMENT with it’s unsolved riddles is the first step in creation. When we focus on the frustration of the never-ending, repetitive cycles and problems we encounter, all they will do is grow and our perspective will remain unchanged.

We will stay in the limitation of being controlled by everything around us.

As Einstein also stated, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

If you’re going through a struggle or trying to start your life over or make a change….do yourself a favor and don’t invest in the struggle mentally, don’t think things have to be a certain way and definitely don’t keep trying to force things that are beyond your control to fit into this picture.

Most people, when they come to me have no idea about what would truly make them happy, all they know is they want to escape where they are now.

Soooo…what is the first step?

Get clear on ONE thing…something that brings you a great deal of joy to engage in whether it is art, meditating, walking, creating a flow chart…whatever it is, DO IT! TODAY!

XOXO

Tracy

I Am The Marrying Kind

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Many years ago, I had a friend who was going through a divorce.

She told me very firmly and knowingly that she indeed was not going to stay single; she was the marrying kind.

Sure enough, she married a man later the following year who satisfied her statement.

At the time I thought about it, I asked myself wasn’t everyone deep down inside the marrying kind? Didn’t we all have the capacity? Didn’t I?

I’d been divorced 4 years at the time.

I was still in love with someone in which everything that could be an obstacle stood in the way of our togetherness. I had a pretty good fantasy going on about riding off into the sunset and some psychics I went to on a regular basis who helped me keep the vision alive. (psychics seek out other psychics)

I enjoyed impossible relationships for many years.

I thought the challenge and struggle was what relationships always were on a deeper level. Yet, I knew from others, from reading and from the growing dissatisfaction with the “work” involved that supportive, happy relationships actually existed.

Did I really believe it was possible for me?

It was a many “years” long discovery of myself and how I actually blocked being the marrying kind.

I was the running kind.

I ALWAYS said I wanted to be with someone. ALWAYS. My heart yearned for it, but I chose pain over love. I chose to try and get some crazy approval, some feeling of validation by finally winning over the man. Vulnerability was something others did, because I had no clue as to what love actually was of myself or someone else.

I didn’t realize how fear and the beliefs I developed as a child were basically killing my love life.

I could see a great divide between me and the marrying kind! I saw others marrying all the time and trying to figure out their secret. What was wrong with me????

I wasn’t needy…I was very independent. I wasn’t trying to drag someone to the altar, I didn’t mind a slow process in getting there. I figured I was textbook perfect as a mate…so why the hell was I single and wrapped up in these nightmarish situations???

And bit by bit, I saw the contrast.

I learned so much through my last relationship. It was 5 years on and off, with someone I had crowned my soulmate in the beginning and in the end, my greatest teacher.

Over time, as my walls that had separated me crumbled down….my “running” nature also fell apart.

I saw how I couldn’t be vulnerable and compartmentalize everything, how I wanted perfection in how we came together and what I would allow, because of my insecurities. It’s what meaning I gave to my past experiences and my shitty beliefs I developed about myself as a result…I felt like I was unworthy and a failure in love. 

I’d been rigid where I needed to be flexible. I’d been black and white, where other colors needed to enter my perception. I accepted so little, where it needed to be a vast ocean. I gave, but didn’t receive….I didn’t ask for help, until I did and it wasn’t there.

And on the other extreme I saw possible where it was impossible. I imagined, prayed and focused on how I wanted it to be and not how it actually was, for so many reasons.

It was safe.

I was forced to get out of my own way. The safety of these rocky roads to navigate and keep me hamstrung, running from love were no longer working. The old ways were dying off as I got to know me, love me and truly want more for myself.

What was safe now seemed uninteresting; distance became exactly that…distance. Not a challenge, but something I couldn’t bridge the gap on alone. I stopped wanting difficult and breathed into easy.

Now it’s scary, because I’ve had to dig deep to believe (regardless of my insecurities) that somewhere out there is a mate for me, who willingly will meet where I am, where neither of us is running from intimacy or ourselves. Someone who matches me, rather than my trying to paint an impossible picture into one of a togetherness that will never be….

I’ve become the marrying kind; I actually love being around couples that are happy together, there’s something contagious about it and quite inviting….

Becoming the marrying kind is quite expansive, forgiving, open, freeing and loving. Loving myself and life as it is may be a challenge at times, but it’s a challenge I welcome!

As I finished writing this, someone shared this quote: “If you’re brave enough to say “good-bye,” life will reward you with a new “hello.” ~Paulo Coehlo

I am brave enough to say good-bye to the old ways, and hello to the unknown. If you want to join me in becoming the marrying kind, please click this link.

xoxo

5 Ways to Change Your Life Today

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Want change?

Gotta take some action and shift a stuck perception

  1. Say “no” to what does not belong to you. Don’t take on other’s stuff that they’re not willing to deal with and make it your own. Give it up, give it back and say “NO,” watch as resentment disappears.
  2. Screw guilt in not taking on what doesn’t belong to you. The minute you think or feel guilt for valuing yourself, stop take a breath in and focus on loving kindness circulating through your veins. 🙂
  3. Release what died. Stop keeping a taxidermied replica of whatever relationship it is that you haven’t let go of and give it a proper burial. Moving on comes in stages, but at least for yourself accept what is now passed on to another stage and let go….free your hands up to hug yourself.
  4.  Things don’t change when you continue to keep the same perception about them. Try looking at something outside of your current view. Allow yourself to detach emotionally, if only for a moment to see other possibilities. Do this often and you’ll start to see your world open up!
  5. Every time you go to complain, to someone or out loud, pause for a moment and ask yourself what is really going on? What are you not getting right now, specifically? And what is the benefit of complaining? In the best circumstances you may want to believe you have not coerced others to do your bidding, but when you complain, you may not give much of a choice to someone. Especially, if they’re a recipient of your displeasure. They may feel they can’t catch a break and stop trying. When you have clarity on your complaints, you can start to do things differently. If you don’t like something in your living environment, change it….if you are not crazy about how you’re treated in your relationship…get clear on the real issue, make sure you’re treating you with a lot of love and then speak your truth. If it still doesn’t bring you together, then consider finding someone who does want to wear the same jersey.

The F**k It List.

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Yep, this is the time of year when everyone shares their resolutions, hopes and other long list’s of to-dos.

Perhaps, you may have even assembled a “bucket list?” Well….welcome to my “f**k it list.”

Taking life too seriously, leaves little space for new, exciting adventures to make their way in our lives….so, if we wanna LIVE LARGE, and feel the freedom, excitement and make a dream or two happen…..

Then put these on YOUR F**K IT LIST (and of course feel free to add your own items)

  1. Strategizing to keep the status quo. Keeps misery alive rather than letting the cards fall where they may by becoming honest with ourselves. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
  2. Spending energy trying to convince someone else of…well…..anything.
  3. Assuming. F**k assuming, it’s mental energy spent assessing something that we do not have a shred of evidence to support, but believe we have ESP powers to read someone else’s mind or intentions. Get a mirror and look at your own intentions instead!
  4. Lying. Poke my eyes out, please…all lies come back to haunt us in some way, shape or form. ESPECIALLY the lies we tell ourselves. Decades can go by believing our own lies. Find the voice inside who wants you to live!
  5. Bullshit. People who want to convince us that if we don’t sniff their glue, drink their koolaid, listen to some talking head or something else SUPA DUPA IMPORTANT to them….somehow we, our family or our business/job will suffer. CHOICE is a beautiful thing, trust yourself to know what is best for you, then take action!
  6. Playing nice. Just be real. REAL. If we feel we have to dance around in a tutu to distract others from getting to know us…try getting naked, warts and all. Speak the truth always, in the kindest way possible!
  7. Being uptight. Oh sigh. Why bother? Is there an award for being tightly wrapped? Do we get something for the stress, anxiety and mental-torture we put ourselves through? Oh hell no! Validation or approval from others is pointless. Fill that empty space inside of you with some lovin’ from you!! Jump back and kiss yourself!
  8. Fear as a soul-sucking monotone voice that blocks you from taking that risk! What if the sky falls? What if I make a mistake? What if I end up homeless? We can’t control anything outside of us, so if we at least take the risk, we get the confidence that WE CAN, plus the adventure and to feel alive!!! So Just Do IT!!
  9. Blame. Please stop. Thank you.
  10. Being Angry all the time, because we refuse to do anything to change what pisses us off…and this does what for us? Makes us self-righteous? Better than the rest? Anger is from our allowing people and situations outside of us to control us and we usually do this in the hope of getting something from it. And when we don’t get what we want…resentment takes over and makes us do weird shit in over the top ways that leaves others scratching their heads as to our actions. So stop screaming at strangers who you believe are inconsiderate. Stop overreacting when YOU ASSUME your lover is doing something to you (because that stupid movie of the past is playing in your head). It’s time to do some soul searching and see what you want…and then go about fulfilling it without forcing anyone to make it better for you…and don’t do things for others in the form of trying to get something…and when you start doing weird shit, check yourself and stop mid-sentence or mid-action…ask is this what I want?
  11. Whiners and complainers. People who get a jolly kick from ruminating over ANYTHING. My daughters likes the housewives shows …these groups of women find everything to whine and complain about–not my form of entertainment. Remember like attracts like and water seeks its own level…so you wanna feel better, go for the higher ground, look at the vicious cycle and stop talking until you know WHY you’re talking. 🙂
  12. Punishment and Suffering or giving up Martyrdom/Victimization: Forget the handcuffs unless they’re furry (HA!)! Taking responsibility for our lives gives us the freedom to create, even if there is pain attached to it, we choose the HOW we want to see it. Be playful in any situation (good, bad, sick, sad or ugly) no matter what and don’t take it personally! HAVE FUN!!!!!
  13. Guilt, Worry, Excuses….this is a triad of hell. Guilt motivates inauthentic actions as we try to rid ourselves of it. Worry–what’s gonna happen will happen. Excuses–the things we tell others and ourselves, so we can stay stuck in the comfort zone of the living dead. F**K all of them and BE FREE! 

At The End Of Your Manifesting Rope?

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Yep…been there, done that and every time I get to the end of the rope, I’ve tied a bigger knot and re-focused on what I wanted to create.

Not only did I keep moving forth, I dropped some nasty-ass obstacles along the way…only to find myself looking at the same list I had for about 10 years. Same items on the list, what could it mean? Was it true had I never really moved any closer to living the life I wanted?

Tell me….what was that all about? And how did I not just crumple up every list I had and say “screw it!”

I let a huge sigh and thought, how many more books will I read on manifesting abundance? How many more sages would I listen to and think I had found the magic key? Only to find it just wasn’t the case…..because all it would make me do is get excited and really, truly follow directions only to find it didn’t work or perhaps, it does work, it’s just not on my timetable?

Then I’d hear another success story and think “Hmmm…perhaps, I am missing something?” And then the treasure hunt would continue. I definitely was not the same person, as I started out as when I embarked on this journey. It had definitely changed me for the calmer, happier and freer, BUT when those BIG goals that I had my eye on FOR YEARS were still elusive….I decided something just had to be done!!!!!

BUT WHAT?

Go read, “Think and Grow Rich” or “The Science of Getting Rich” or any other book on manifesting, AGAIN? Geezus NO! 

Did it mean writing another list on what I should manifest in better language? In a different way, so that this time perhaps the Universe would hear me? NO.

Should I stop working with my beliefs that have held me back from the deeper connection to myself and my own happiness? NO.

Hmmm…perhaps it meant going in a direction without integrity or some other “quick get what I want scheme” through some sort of manipulation? NO.

No banging my head on a wall, no thinking anyone was more or less blessed than me, no more wondering what could be the fatal flaw I just couldn’t see (since I had been convinced it existed like an eyesore in the middle of my face where everyone else could see it), no more feeling compelled to let guilt hogtie me when I wasn’t doing enough or being enough or showing up enough or eating hamburgers enough…or whatever!

Did it mean to jut sit in front of the tube and say “fuck it?” NO.

Oh, oh, oh…did it mean I needed to lower my standards in both love and money or something, scrape by and go head long into some scarcity prison? HELL NO.

Should I give up the joy in the simple things like nature, listening to my kids, hanging with my friends, painting, coaching, writing? NO.

Hey…I’ve even found joy in shopping, years ago it used to fill an empty hole, then I felt it was ridiculous to be materially driven and now…now I understand the excitement and joy that can be felt when we really buy something for ourselves that gives us a smile, a feeling of love for giving to ourselves…so should I give that up to and stick to berry picking for my food? NO.

Then WTF?!?!?!

I’m no more fucked up than the next person, we have the same opportunities, right? YES.

We get to choose between passion and slogging it out, right? YES.

There’s also the choice to live into one’s goals as a gain, as opposed to feeling like the tooth fairy will leave us change under our pillow for what we have lost, right? YES.

Letting go feels way better than holding on….right? YES.

So, what was my answer?

  • Focus on my passion–do it daily.
  • Keep clearing out the dead wood of old beliefs that no longer supported me and kept me feeling STUCK and TRAPPED.
  • Find my joy and gratitude for what I have everyday.
  • Let go of the outcome, totally and completely, so as not to use it as a weapon to beat myself with
  • Not look to replace what I thought I lost, but to instead to look for the abundance in everything, even if it’s a bunch of beautiful leaves on the ground.

And keeping it this simple, guess what???? The manifestations that had been impossible in my intense state of MUST create, became within hand’s reach when I relaxed.

If you find yourself learning from my information and you’re stuck, frustrated and feel like it’s Groundhog’s Day, once again….then check out my holiday special, imagine how much progress you could make inside of yourself toward passion, happiness and abundance with working one on one with me?? Click here to find out more. Happy Holidays!!!

 

 

 

 

You are Never Your Emotions

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Sometimes it seems impossible to shake a feeling. Perhaps, it’s a feeling of dread or something missing, which makes us feel off-balance or slightly funky. We may look outside of us for the answer.

The answer is actually within us, which should be a relief. Either our emotional state is giving us a hint or a feeling needs to be released.

I used to get hooked into an emotion. Why was I feeling what I was feeling? Who or what was causing it? It was sort of like a ticking time bomb, one I kept thinking would create an explosion. If I gave power to it, it did….and usually, I would take someone else down with it too.

If I was having a relationship or had someone in my life and felt funk-a-delic, I would think it was something about them…instead of, MY feelings about them. I may have a feeling I was attaching to this person from something very old inside of me…an old belief. I was looking at the person as the trigger and wanting them to take the funk away.

It doesn’t work that way. People can temporarily take away our funkiness, but they can’t resolve it for us. If we choose to see emotions as a passing wave through us, we can allow them to not be labeled as a truth or something with meaning. We can understand that it’s just an experience with a beginning and an end.

If we become fearful of the experience of our own emotions, we will create more stories to be stuck in and more than likely create an undesired outcome somewhere in our lives. It really is about us and not other people.

If we look at our emotional state, as a sign of something not at peace within us and giving us a hint that perhaps our actions, thoughts and goals are not in alignment, we may discover within us a key. The key may open the door to vulnerability, to something we have been keeping behind an energetic wall, instead of being at one with our truth.

I know when I start to feel separate, angry or needy…I want answers. I know that there is something I am doing, which is not serving me and therefore, it is up to me and not someone else to open up in me. I must be willing to face what I am hiding and give myself the gift of changing direction, perception or understanding.

I know my emotions don’t own me, they don’t dictate my life….they sometimes serve as a reminder of where I used to be and where I am now. I no longer fight against them to not feel a certain way, I just let em’ flow….and whether they give me an answer or dissipate, it no longer means I am my emotions, my thoughts or anything, which can change in the blink of an eye.

If you want to feel freedom from an emotional lockdown, get out of hiding and let your feelings flow…if there is something in the flow, which is eye-catching or heart stopping open to it and see what it has to tell you. At that point, you have a choice and choice gives us freedom, so get out of the emotional prison and start living….freely, vulnerably and happily. (Yes, happiness comes from allowing the emotions to flow and not holding them in a box) 🙂