Power of Gratitude V


Sometimes I hear, “Have an Attitude of Gratitude,” with the purpose of helping me manifest what I want; have more peace, feel more open and overall, less frustrated with my current lot in life.

And at those times, when I’m most frustrated, I find it difficult to really step out of my comfort zone with it’s revolving thoughts! It’s a merry-go-round in my head! Trying to figure out why, I’m stuck in a place once again, in which, I’ve visited many times, over several years.

Now most people can relate to frustration being a difficult emotion to step out of and stop, cold turkey.

There is a certain comfort to old thoughts and lashing out at the Universe, as to why things are once again headed in an unwelcome direction. I know, because I’ve found it the most challenging time to have any gratitude for anything.

Most negative emotions can wrap us up in their clutches, making it feel impossible to be released.

We don’t get relief, so easily as to just say words of gratitude, oh no! It’s the same thing with positive affirmations, even if the words come out of our mouth, does it match our truth? Does it match our energy, our intention, our feelings?

Just saying words with no real meaning attached to it, gives us no power. It keeps us powerless, especially if the force of our anger or unhappiness is behind it.

In some of my more recent challenges, the ones, which I didn’t understand their significance or reoccurrence, I discovered something new. I came to understand my value.

People can say how wonderful we are, they can slather us in praise, and we can even look in the mirror and say, “Hmmm…not bad,” but these sentiments are not necessarily indicative of how we value ourselves.

In the past, I believed I had to work super hard to get value. I also believed that everything in my life had happened as either a reflection of me or that it was a lesson I wasn’t getting! This trifecta of thoughts would come up every time a past result, seemed to be my present outcome. I’d think of how I handled it differently, how I acted differently and how I thought differently, so how could this possibly be happening?

It dawned on me one day.

Deep inside, I felt, I did not deserve my circumstances, that in this particular event, I embraced my value. I saw where I was responsible, where I had done everything I could think of and it still had poor results. This was not a reflection of me at all. I stopped beating myself up with those recurring thoughts and felt peace.

And what does this have to do with the power of gratitude?

In the realization of my own value, came an opening. All the responsibility I carried for the external circumstances, the outcome, of all that occurred, had dropped from my shoulders. The barriers of blame, I held against the Universe and myself started to crumble. I was able to feel my way into gratitude.

Gratitude is about the present moment, not the future. When it comes to being personally-empowered, all we can be connected to in the mind, body, spirit department is now.

We can be grateful for what is and where we are today. When we value ourselves, our gratitude is clearer and less tinged with what we don’t have in the moment.

If we take a few minutes to really look at a situation, in which we’re held hostage and feel gratitude is the last place we can actually touch, it’s important to stop for a second and ask ourselves, “Have I done everything, I believe can be done in this situation, with the knowledge I have right now?” If the answer is yes, (and it usually is when we’re frustrated), then seeing where we’re applying unnecessary pressure on ourselves for the present situation to be different is key.

Where does that come from?

Once we see why we need the validation of a situation to turn out right, we can gain clarity on our actions and our value. Once we really start honoring our value, we can feel grateful for exactly what is in our lives. We can look at the frustrating situation and know that it’s teaching us gratitude. It’s taught us that there is freedom from the murkiness of believing life has done us wrong, or we’re wrong.

I can be grateful right now for all that is in my life. It allows me to be accepting, and not in such a hurry. I can look at the past and feel thankful for the experiences, which have brought to the place of value I feel in myself.

The power of true gratitude is a feeling of softening, because it connects us to a greater source than ourselves. We’re not so worried and caught up in what might never happen.

Gratitude allows us to connect to our creativity. When we are in this space of freedom, connecting to the creative within us, it opens a door to new thought. We gain a new approach and an opportunity to lessen the intensity of our circumstances, enough so, that our actions coming from gratitude can lead us to a completely different place than we are today.

Thanking every experience and person, past or present for their contribution to helping us discover our true value, places us squarely in an empowered space.

Links to the four other posts in this series:

The Power Of Presence

The Power Of Balance

The Power of Abundance

The Power of Insecurities



The Power of Abundance III


The power of abundance would seem obvious to most of us. The more abundance of things we deem as good, would put us in a position of power, right?

An abundance of health, wealth, love, peace, happiness, friends, food, etc… is what most of us would find very satisfying, perhaps even fulfilling.

“Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns it calls me on and on across the universe.” ~John Lennon

As human beings, we always have a desire for more. More life, more love, more affection, more money, more laughter, etc…

We can deny the desires, but why should we say “no,” to what we really want? If we want to live in the country, travel, get married, etc….and we’re not doing it or moving in the direction of it, we have to ask ourselves, WHY?

Abundance is unlimited, scarcity is limited. Abundance breaks the rules, scarcity colors within the lines. Abundance is relaxing, scarcity is constricting. Some of us feel guilty wanting more for ourselves and others believe we don’t deserve our dreams….and as long as we live in guilt or undeserving energy….we will continue to set up situations, which highlight scarcity.

Abundance did not come to me easily. I was not brought up to believe love and money grew on trees (but they do provide for both) and that you had to work super hard to rub two nickels together.

“Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.”
~ Epicurus

Getting to a place of allowing abundance in our lives can feel like we’re breaking all sorts of rules.

We may abide by certain philosophies, which allow us to honor reasons to stay in scarcity. The power of abundance is scary, because it’s unlimited.

If the Universe is made up of a creative energy that has an intelligence, a sort of matching us where we are energy….and our energy is about manifesting through thought and action, wouldn’t the Universe mirror it back to us? As humans we have no control over timing or what an outcome actually looks like, but if we believe in the power of abundance we can approach it as a wide-eyed child.

Often life throws us a curve ball, but what if we approach dire or troubling situations from an unlimited, abundant perception? It could allow us to find the opportunity in a crisis.  

If we create rather than compete, we’re focused on the value of abundance–creating more rather than in scarcity, taking what someone else has in their possession.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” ~ Albert Einstein

If more life is the goal of every living thing in the universe, we have to get clear on what keeps our “thinking,” in scarcity. Where are we limited and when did we come to believe this as our truth?

“Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”
~ Wayne Dyer

The moment we engage in what we love, we are creating, when we’re creating…..we’re living in abundance. If we want to be in the Power of Abundance now, what can we do?

1. Believe there is more rather than less for everyone. There is no competition.

2. Find what you love to create and start creating, even if you think you are not any good at it, do it with love and do it often.

3. Once you are in the habit of creating with love, believe in the abundance of it, focus on it with a goal (even if the goal is just more time to do what you love) meaning look for opportunities to come from what you love. They will.

4. From abundance the opportunity to give and receive fully, becomes easier. We energetically connect to more when we get out of our own way and include others.

Watch life change, as you become more accustomed to the unlimited, the possibilities that may have seemed impossible in the past, are now your reality.

If you missed the first two parts in the series, please click the links below:

Power of Presence I

Power of Balance II

If you’re interested in upping your abundance level, please contact me Tracy AT tracycrossley.com

Eating, Playing, Being and Orgasms


Lately, orgasms have been a focal point in my writing. Let me preface it with, I can only speak from my experience as a woman.

It’s not the sexual act of having an orgasm as to what I’m clearly addressing today. How about the value of an orgasm as it relates to “being present,” and “having the life we want.”

If we’re fully present and engaged in an activity; eating, playing, working, having sex or even just being, etc. we have a different experience of ourselves and the world.


I use the word authenticity when describing living life on our terms and the ability to have an earth-shaking orgasm. Ya Ya!

Authenticity is who we truly are, beneath all the bullshit we tell ourselves we are or should be. It’s the truth; it’s the voice we often ignore, because it means we have to change what we’re doing, how we spend our time and perhaps, who we spend our time with too.

As an example, I’ve a client who is afraid to let go of her marriage. It is dead and over, they live in the same house, but there is no desire to work on things or come together, on either part. She has ignored her inner voice for years, telling her to move on. She lived with excuses; other people and their “possible,” opinions seemed to matter more than her happiness. She’s still waiting for someone else to come and rescue her, or hoping her estranged husband will find someone else, or that some HUGE sign will show up, telling her now is the right time to go. None of this has happened and will more than likely not happen, she is being pushed to stand for her own life.

She has ignored that voice, her authentic truth….and her chance, to so far, live an amazing existence….and she’s missing out on amazing orgasms too!!!

Think I’m kidding?

How can you have an amazing climax, when only part of you is present to do it? You can have an orgasm, but to have that fantastic out of this world experience…it’s equal parts mind, body and soul.

If you’re missing one, your life and your orgasms are lacking.

How many of us do this in different parts of our lives? And how many of us can truly let go of who we are not and be at our most open, vulnerable and raw state to experience life or sex?

To have what we want and create the life we deeply desire, it requires openness to ourselves first.

We must be connected to the TRUTH of what we want, not all the excuses that hold us back. When we have that unity in our mind, body and soul, it’s our most creative state to match to the unseen and create our reality.

We can also have a damn good orgasm.

I know when I’m in the state of building up to an orgasm, all of the molecules in my body are engaged, as is my spirit and my mind. It is a super intense focus!! Now, imagine creating our lives with that love, sensuality, joy and fun!!  And imagine the outcome being a climax, except this one doesn’t end.

When I am doing what I love and being true to myself, I wake up giddy in the morning!!

I practice self-care, my life is more in balance and it’s pretty orgasmic! When I’m working at something, which drains me, because I am afraid to lose the money or I’m in the company of people only because I am afraid to be alone…..I am disconnected. I am in fear. And sex…..um yeah….

Fear stands in the way of orgasms.

If we want to live a FULFILLING life, whether we’re just hanging out, spending time alone, working, exercising, eating, etc….we must be fully present. To be fully present requires us to be connected with all parts of ourselves. When we’re in fear this does not happen, we are only operating with a part of ourselves and denying the rest of us liberation.

Fear keeps us limited. So, shuck the fear, get in the flow. There’s a whole other way to live this life starting with BE HERE, NOW.

If orgasms are far and few between or life feels like a flat line, please contact me, I can help!

Please click here: Tracy@Tracycrossley.com

4 Ways to Become More Confident Now!

No Fucks Given_ 20 Photos of People Not Giving a Fuck | Page 8 | HEAVY

We all have moments where something is making us think we can’t do it or we’re just not good enough.

The longer we stay in that state the more time we have to actually confirm the belief and REALLY the last thing we want to do IS perpetuate those limiting beliefs!

Here are 4 ways to immediately become more confident now.

1. Say f**k it. Just say it….breathe it in and realize there ain’t nothing that’s so much bigger than you or me, which requires any of us to stay small. If we don’t bring home the prize this time, life doesn’t end…there’s always opportunity, so the more you, me and everyone else says f**k it….the more we all stay open to ALOT more OPPORTUNITIES!!

2. Detach from all outcomes. We can’t control them anyway, so why do we get down on ourselves when things don’t go exactly as planned? Be in the moment with your eye on what you’d like to create or build more of, but don’t get hooked into it happening in a certain way or fitting into a picture of how you believe the final picture needs to look.

3. Stop picking yourself apart and be cool with you, as you are….as in, when you’re comfortable in your own skin no matter what’s happening, that is true confidence. Make a mistake? Handle it with grace, by being kind to yourself…showing yourself respect and value. Learn, grow and embrace where you are right now. The minute you relax and accept yourself, people will notice the difference….and most of all you’ll feel it!

4. No one is better than you. Sure, someone may have more knowledge or experience on a subject or a situation, but that doesn’t mean you have to compare yourself to them. You are where you are…and that’s okay.  You may want to be somewhere else with more experience under your belt, but that is another day. It’s far more easier to JUST BE HERE in TODAY and not worry about anyone else or what you don’t know…..forget the competition, focus on you, learn from what is around you and go for what will take you where you want to go…just remember you are okay just as you are and where you are!

At The End Of Your Manifesting Rope?


Yep…been there, done that and every time I get to the end of the rope, I’ve tied a bigger knot and re-focused on what I wanted to create.

Not only did I keep moving forth, I dropped some nasty-ass obstacles along the way…only to find myself looking at the same list I had for about 10 years. Same items on the list, what could it mean? Was it true had I never really moved any closer to living the life I wanted?

Tell me….what was that all about? And how did I not just crumple up every list I had and say “screw it!”

I let a huge sigh and thought, how many more books will I read on manifesting abundance? How many more sages would I listen to and think I had found the magic key? Only to find it just wasn’t the case…..because all it would make me do is get excited and really, truly follow directions only to find it didn’t work or perhaps, it does work, it’s just not on my timetable?

Then I’d hear another success story and think “Hmmm…perhaps, I am missing something?” And then the treasure hunt would continue. I definitely was not the same person, as I started out as when I embarked on this journey. It had definitely changed me for the calmer, happier and freer, BUT when those BIG goals that I had my eye on FOR YEARS were still elusive….I decided something just had to be done!!!!!


Go read, “Think and Grow Rich” or “The Science of Getting Rich” or any other book on manifesting, AGAIN? Geezus NO! 

Did it mean writing another list on what I should manifest in better language? In a different way, so that this time perhaps the Universe would hear me? NO.

Should I stop working with my beliefs that have held me back from the deeper connection to myself and my own happiness? NO.

Hmmm…perhaps it meant going in a direction without integrity or some other “quick get what I want scheme” through some sort of manipulation? NO.

No banging my head on a wall, no thinking anyone was more or less blessed than me, no more wondering what could be the fatal flaw I just couldn’t see (since I had been convinced it existed like an eyesore in the middle of my face where everyone else could see it), no more feeling compelled to let guilt hogtie me when I wasn’t doing enough or being enough or showing up enough or eating hamburgers enough…or whatever!

Did it mean to jut sit in front of the tube and say “fuck it?” NO.

Oh, oh, oh…did it mean I needed to lower my standards in both love and money or something, scrape by and go head long into some scarcity prison? HELL NO.

Should I give up the joy in the simple things like nature, listening to my kids, hanging with my friends, painting, coaching, writing? NO.

Hey…I’ve even found joy in shopping, years ago it used to fill an empty hole, then I felt it was ridiculous to be materially driven and now…now I understand the excitement and joy that can be felt when we really buy something for ourselves that gives us a smile, a feeling of love for giving to ourselves…so should I give that up to and stick to berry picking for my food? NO.

Then WTF?!?!?!

I’m no more fucked up than the next person, we have the same opportunities, right? YES.

We get to choose between passion and slogging it out, right? YES.

There’s also the choice to live into one’s goals as a gain, as opposed to feeling like the tooth fairy will leave us change under our pillow for what we have lost, right? YES.

Letting go feels way better than holding on….right? YES.

So, what was my answer?

  • Focus on my passion–do it daily.
  • Keep clearing out the dead wood of old beliefs that no longer supported me and kept me feeling STUCK and TRAPPED.
  • Find my joy and gratitude for what I have everyday.
  • Let go of the outcome, totally and completely, so as not to use it as a weapon to beat myself with
  • Not look to replace what I thought I lost, but to instead to look for the abundance in everything, even if it’s a bunch of beautiful leaves on the ground.

And keeping it this simple, guess what???? The manifestations that had been impossible in my intense state of MUST create, became within hand’s reach when I relaxed.

If you find yourself learning from my information and you’re stuck, frustrated and feel like it’s Groundhog’s Day, once again….then check out my holiday special, imagine how much progress you could make inside of yourself toward passion, happiness and abundance with working one on one with me?? Click here to find out more. Happy Holidays!!!





Recognizing Value or You Get What You Pay For!


I used to be a BIG believer that you could find the same thing for less, whether it was getting a designer dress on sale or a decent mechanic.

I also used to have almost no wealth consciousness or basically, “a general level of scarcity.”

I never understood why people paid a lot of money for certain things, when less expensive items/services were just as good. I figured some people were just into making a statement with a label or they had something ostentatious to draw attention to their success.

It wasn’t until I really started getting my own value, that I understood the differences in spending money. There is investing money and spending it frivolously. One is related to abundance and the other to scarcity. 

We each possess an inherent value in relation to money. Some of us work for w-a-y less than our REAL worth and some of us are paid for OUR value. We may complain or feel stuck earning far less than we deserve; we’re not happy, BUT IT’S OUR CHOICE. We live in fear and settle. 

When we’re too afraid to leave behind that, which does not really serve us financially and we hold on for dear life, because we feel it’s too much risk to go for what we truly want…we’re not living.

In a place of surviving for a paycheck, we live in scarcity. If we don’t spend money, because we’re afraid that we won’t have enough…we’re putting ourselves in a permanent “time-out,” as though we’re serving a penance (this is different than saving for a house or car or something we want)…

On the other side of existing for a paycheck, we stay in scarcity by spending money frivolously. We piss it away trying to escape the pain of half-living! We may live paycheck to paycheck and never get out of this vicious cycle.

In having my own business now and coming from having put myself through the 9 circles of hell financially, I speak from a perspective of value equals abundance and unworthiness equals scarcity. 

As I grew to value myself, I became more abundant.

Abundant in how I see myself, others and life in general. As I grew, I started charging more for my services. I realized when I didn’t charge my value, I’d feel tired, and not as focused, it was like a heavy weight to me to work for less than my worth (and if you’re just earning a paycheck–you know this feeling). Now, I only give specials, which are in complete alignment with abundance and me energetically.

I don’t actually help someone by charging them less, I instead, further enable their scarcity.

When I started charging more, I was afraid to spend any money.

I would cringe and get anxious, every time a friend of mine told me to buy myself something (considering I hadn’t bought myself a decent outfit in 5 years, this was almost ridiculous). When I finally decided to, I made it fun! Only buying what I truly loved and that it MUST reflect the HAPPINESS inside of me! Totally in opposition to my old scarcity!

What we spend money on and the feeling we have about it is a direct reflection to the relationship we have with ourselves. If we feel we’re worth it, we may spend money on what deeply pleases us or help us to grow.

When someone pays for a coaching package with me, I know they feel worthy of the commitment they’re making! And if someone struggles with the money commitment and decides not to–but needs it, then the question is…“what is it costing YOU if you don’t invest?” 

When we really value ourselves, we may get a bit scared with getting out of our comfort zone in our financial spending and goals, but it’s the only way we truly grow.

Wanna be rich? Value equals Abundance is key!

Spend to invest in ourselves–our happiness. Whether it is a house, a purse, a coaching package, a vacation–it reflects our inner world.

I pay others their full value. I NEVER would have in the past and yet, as I sit on the eve of making a MAJOR life decision, by forking over a very large chunk of change to hire a coach for my business…I know I could offer no less for myself or the value I receive for the service. 

We get what we pay for and if we pay someone for a service who doesn’t value themselves enough, it’s reflected back to us in how we don’t value ourselves. The Universe keeps us in direct alignment with each other. If I make a quantum leap, so do my clients and vice versa.



What I know about Manifesting A House or Anything…


I’ve manifested things, big and small. And so have you!

Usually without committing to it, in fact I really didn’t pay attention for a long time. I realized certain things came easily and others…well, they were a bit more difficult.

When I started on my journey of self-realization and inner peace, I didn’t know it meant loss, gains and a complete shift of awareness and consciousness.

Through the losses, I realized I had become complacent. I started believing scarcity was my birthright. Somehow I decided to live with “less than” in all areas of my life.

As I became clearer on this “complacency,” and started to make choices from a place of loving myself, many things and people changed in my life.

About the house.

Along the way, I learned how to manifest with purpose, but being human, one can still doubt one’s abilities, right?

We can also make it a challenge rather than simple and easily.

I connected to universal power, it was a simple and difficult process in bringing this house to me.

I had to learn to be in alignment with what I asked for…if I said simple and easy ways, then I need to allow for “simple and easy.”

What did I use? Affirmations, intentions, shifting my ability to believe constantly, participating and surrendering.

I’ve never been big on affirmations as the way to go until recently, because I know NOW there’s a bigger purpose in using them.

Often, we say them a few times, then we start to feel funky. They just don’t fit…and the discovery is we get to see exactly where we feel unworthy or stuck. It unveils us to ourselves.

The same thing happens with intentions, we begin to question our own value in deserving what we ask for and …. if we get it, can we handle it?

Please know, it’s okay to experience all of this and still get what we ask for, BUT….when we ask, we must ask a quality question or an intention that is well-worded–so it’s clear.

In the process of asking, we must lift our wealth consciousness. We must move toward unlimited possibilities rather than looking back.

Wealth goes beyond money–wealth in every part of our life. Observe where we feel we don’t deserve wealth and why? GET CLEAR, we usually WANT what is beyond the comfort of our own value…so it matters “where we are” in receiving it.

It cannot come from the lack, it must come from already feeling like life is good and abundant, because in reality it is…we’re the only ones which cut ourselves off from source.

So…the house. I asked the Universe to “please bring the perfect place for me simply and easily.” I had an idea in my mind of what size, shape and look the place had…but I was open to the Universe bringing it…well… sort of. 

I saw the first house…and loved it!

I had to have it, so perfect for my business and life. I among 10 other people, put in applications. When I had looked at the place the owner was there trying to find her cat…she left….and who showed up? The cat. I found the cat. I was walking to leave and the owner drove by, I told her I put her cat in the house. Was it a sign? Nope…I didn’t get the house.

Bummed and doubting.

The second house. I heard from an agent who called 10 minutes after I let go of control of needing to find the place NOW. I thought…hmmm, this must be it! I saw it and it was awesome too. Interestingly enough had the same layout as the first……way too many applicants, no word for 2 weeks …and I, again didn’t get the house.

More bummed, til I saw house #3.

This had to be it!!!! I called…I said I wanted the house sight unseen (And so far, simple and easy were missing from my vocabulary) I emailed, texted, I hit it off with the current tenants! I wanted this house, perfection!!! It was mine in my mind’s eye…until it wasn’t. They took it off the market.

Bummed for a moment and then I decided to get real.

I had asked myself all along if this was simple and easy (NO), so I decided to really ALLOW myself to participate (by looking) and let the rest take care of itself.

I found two houses that day, I was totally relaxed in finding the right fit.

The first house was in a city I wanted, but not a desirable street (and the same layout as the other three). And the second one, was in an area I had moved out of…did I want to move back (same layout as the other 4)?

I liked many things about house number 5, but after my experience with the other 3 (I didn’t do anything with house #4)…I contacted the owner….sent her everything on me, short of my blood type and figured whatever happens, happens.

Right away, I told my Mom, I knew I would get it! The owner called me a few minutes later…and was so excited to have me as a tenant. Plus, what I do for a living is something she is interested in learning more about…

Here’s the thing, when I actually STUCK TO what I STATED as my intention…it worked. Intention clear, my actions supported it and voila … the house is for me!

We can manifest anything this way…it’s easy, really. BE SPECIFIC AND MATCH YOUR ENERGY AND ACTIONS TO IT AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.

Is Hope a Form of Hell?


There were times in my life that I lived in my own personal purgatory, an eternal hope that circumstances would change and I’d be first in line to receive what I wanted so badly.

I used to wonder if hope creates a living hell?

Besides being in the middle of war or some life-threatening situation, where you hope you make it out alive….

In all other circumstances, the word “Hope,” says things aren’t okay now! It’s a battle—the acceptance of what is vs. hope. Who wins?

It’s an exhausting fight.

I’ve done crazy things for hope and at times done nothing, but waited….and not calling it waiting, but in essence, it was….waiting.

I stayed in friendships and romantic relationships, hoping something dysfunctional would miraculously change or they’d wake up, get help or wear a matching t-shirt with me.

In a romantic relationship, I’ve been that chick.

The one who gave a ton o’ lovin’, hopin’ some day I’d hear how important and wonderful I was to their very life source. Silly, silly me.

I’ve also stayed til the bitter end of hope, when I’ve given up only to then get what I wanted….only not to want it anymore.

And I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t get rid of hope so easily.

It quietly seeped into my decisions.

I might hold back or go forth depending on that little pebble of hope. Every time I based any decision on hope, it never worked out.

Making decisions and hope should not be in the same buffet.

Decisions should be made wholeheartedly based on what is true for us in the moment.

When we desire someone else to change, like our mate, boss, kid, best friend…..we are passively living in hope.

Hoping had been a mental activity since I was a kid. Hoping for someday.

Someday what? That I’d get what I need, and have what I want?

What about the present moment?

Sometimes, someday never comes.

And if it does, it’s just as fulfilling as we allow it to be RIGHT NOW. If we’re not digging our lives today, what will make the difference tomorrow?

Thinking we’ll wake up someday and our whole life will be a wonderland, because we hoped it true, as long as our inside status stays the same…no outside nirvana will make a difference!

And we can’t hope we’ll change; we have to take action to change!

Having hope for change, means, “I’m not presently here.” It means no action.

We can get caught up in the “if onlys”; if only, this would happen then my life would be better.

Words and inspired action go hand in hand. Not someday, but NOW. “I can’t do that now, I’m not successful, pretty, happy, worthy, etc…yet, someday I will be!”

Now is all we have and now is the time to create change, so nothing remains a hope, instead its our reality.

Does hope ever bring a sense of fulfillment? Yes and no.

On our journey, if we hope and really believe everything will work itself out, we have a sense of contentment, and a state of non-attachment. We’re not worrying and we’re STILL putting energy toward what we want.

On the other hand, attachment sucks.  Sometimes it feels impossible to let go, especially when we’re still hoping it works out. How do we stop?

Stop hoping, and get very clear on the reality. What is really going on now? Accept it. Then we make decisions toward a HOPE we can control. All we can control are our own thoughts, reactions and actions.

Clarity allows us to give up the internal struggle and surrender to what is happening now. We can then see how our actions either support us in our desire to have the life we want or they move us away from what we want, where we can only “HOPE.”

When we actively participate in our journey, we trust that all will be well and we’re not attached to the outcome.

Although, sometimes having hope is like having a map–like when we’re completely lost and we know where we want to end up, so we have hope that it gets us there.

The Way of Imperfection

debout ! / stand up! I

Somewhere in time….a long, long time ago.

I mistakenly got on the path to perfection. Don’t know if it was a right turn or a left turn. I didn’t realize it back then, I just assumed it was the way to love and acceptance.

It was the way to finding out “perfection” had nothing to do with love and acceptance. Being “perfect,” or I should say trying to be in the eyes of others, may win you a trophy and some money, but not much else in the form of emotional fulfillment.

When I realized that keeping the floorboards clean with a toothbrush, making sure I never made a mistake (and when I did–beating myself up), and other assorted torture-inducing activities; I stopped.

Clean floorboards? Okay, once in awhile, I’m not big on dust.

Mistakes? Make them. All the time. the more mistakes you make, the more you are guaranteed you are ALIVE and doing something with yourself!

To be loved and accepted, be yourself. All the time. Be you, in each and every way that shows your essence. Love yourself as flawed as you are and guaranteed, someone(s) else will too.

Ensuring imperfection is easy, and if you need a little help coming up with ways to let it all hang out, no worries. Here are other things that you can do to make you lovably imperfect:

  • Dripping or dropping a bit of your lunch down the front of you.
  • Laughing wholeheartedly at nothing.
  • Laughing wholeheartedly, because you’re happy or thought of something funny.
  • Admitting to each and every insecurity you have–it’s fun! And it lets everyone else chime in with their “stuff.”
  • Tripping over the non-existent bump on the sidewalk
  • Wearing your shirt inside out
  • Wearing two different shoes (yes, I have done this, actually I’ve done all of these)
  • Saying something completely inappropriate, but it is what everyone in the room is dying to say
  • Rolling out of bed, not brushing your hair and meeting your friends for breakfast (no hair needs to be in place, though you may want to brush your teeth–for their sake)
  • Discuss bodily functions, we all have em’ and sometimes they’re accidentally acted upon(or purposely) in front of others.
  • Talk about who you are, not what you do with strangers…let them get to know you!
  • Cry.
  • Share music you listen to or tv you watch, that you are somewhat embarrassed to share.
  • HAVE FUN!!!
  • Accept others as they are.

Those were just a few ideas, but really, let down your hair and relax. Perfection is nonexistent and life gets so much easier when you remove the idea that you have to “appear” a certain way.Confidence comes from being imperfect; loving yourself in your own skin. Perfection will always create the grounds for insecurities, because it is a n impossible and subjective ideal.

No one cares if you are perfect, but they’ll totally love you to bits the more imperfect you are….especially when you own it!!



The Right Thing to do!

NY 2013

It’s New Year’s Eve.

Most people are looking forward. Either to their festivities of the evening or the year ahead. How will this year be different than the last in terms of “what you are doing or thinking?” Is anything really going to change with your perception?

Many people say the right thing to do today, is to make promises that you will change what isn’t working in your life. As though, a magical fairy will come along and *poof* the way you have done things and perceive life will now conclude.

If you are not looking within, there is no way a fairy or anything else will provide the runway to launching your life.

The dawning of a new year will have no impact on your ability to hold to these promises. The only commitment you can make, is to yourself outside the calendar of time.

The commitment to live in the NOW.

Instead of looking forward as a destination and the “place you want to be,” recognize most of life is a journey. We can re-invent that journey at any time by changing our perception. And to change that perception it means, a change in what you are thinking followed by what you do.

Let’s break this down a bit.

Living in the NOW means to be “emotionally and physically” present. Not checked out on your current activity or life. it means to fully experience what is happening now. It doesn’t mean you personalize it or make it about you, it means you recognize, see and say “okay, this is now. You don’t even have to understand it, just connect with the moment.

Understanding will always come when we just allow it to, by staying connected and moving through your life.

Living in the future, means there is a better and more improved version of you or your life. It is not today’s pieces and parts, it is the idealized version of what you want. The main issue with living in this manner; we are never in the present moment to recognize our thoughts and feelings, which set up each moment that follows. And if we are NOT here, each moment that follows is the same as the last. We have no clue as to why we do what we do, when we are not fully present today, we miss out on creating a different tomorrow.

What is the right thing to do today?

Commit to yourself and what you want. When you look at what you want, ask yourself how ready you are to receive it? What stands in the way?

The easiest way to recognize what stands in the way, is to ask yourself what has been standing in your way all along, within yourself, which has kept you from getting to what you want?

It is the same today as it was yesterday. And if you can start to recognize where you haven’t wanted to commit to yourself and why, then you can begin to have different moments. The more you commit to you, the more present you will find yourself each day.

Even when you do mundane activities, these are the greatest times to connect with you. Ask yourself how you feel as you perform your tasks, recognize the water on your hands as you wash the dishes, when you make your bed notice how it feels to stretch out and pull the fitted sheet into place. Notice you are fully engaged in the moment when you connect to the doing.

Notice life now.

Today is a moment, you can change the next moment by committing to you and your happiness, success and accepting all of you, just as you are. Be well!