If you don’t like where you are, what can you do?
Join the circus? That’s a novel idea. It’d work if you have a special talent or want to learn how to be blasted like a cannonball through the air.
More or less, the common answer is to change, to do something, that would be different. And in reality-land, how often do people who are unhappy do this?
Most people don’t understand the source of their unhappiness. They’re just aware they don’t like how things are, and can’t accept it.
For things to actually change though, we have to accept ‘what is.’ By accepting it, we’re not in resistance to it and can therefore focus on what the real motivation (belief) is when we look at our unhappiness.
In gaining clarity….we can do one of three things when it comes to change.
The first is to stay in a state of resistance to change, then take flight and repeat.
Fear is the motivation for staying stuck and suffering. We may stay stuck until the pain of where we are is more than the fear of the unknown.
We let go of the outcome; we aren’t caring if our carefully constructed identity is destroyed or if rumors are true of our unrest. We just can’t stand it anymore. We need change. Now. Sometimes this lasts….other times we go running back to the safety of the ‘known’ even if it sucks.
Lack in trusting ourselves or the unknown, we seek the familiar.
We can do this our entire lives. Staying in resistance.
If we don’t go running back, we must stay connected to ourselves, experiencing change as it happens, becoming emotionally present, setting our sails completely, in a new direction.
There’s no magic symbol outside of us; we must risk and move out of our norm to have what we want…..or we’ll always get the same results.
The second choice is to incrementally take action.
We take action, piece by piece and hold our ground for that truth—it’s uncomfortable (it should be or nothing really changes) as we break a pattern.
Our pattern before taking action may be to say or desire things to be different, but the courage (strength of heart) is blocked by ‘what if’ I am wrong, ‘what if’ I destroy everything and ‘what if’ the sky falls….all is resistance. We may believe we deserve the shitty situation we’re in, until someone finally grants us the ‘approval’ to move forth. It’s a long wait, perhaps a lifetime.
Setting boundaries is taking action.
Set one at a time to break up the patterns, instead of waiting for #1 to occur. Clarity on what’s important, which we’re currently NOT standing for in our lives and then live into that boundary. Make it real. Want respect? Respect ourselves first.
Take action through the resistance. Don’t resist resistance, allow it to be, acknowledge it and move through it by focusing on the goal. Small goals and one boundary at a time empower us to make more changes. Leading to #3.
Third, Continuous action.
Say yes when we mean it, no when we mean it.
Don’t prove anything to anyone…become free.
Stop blaming others. Stop blaming ourselves
Get out of the box.
Think of taking self-inspired (desired emotion) action as helping everyone.
In staying stuck, everything is a holding pattern, including other people. They’re stuck with us right where we are….until someone has courage.
Start taking action (big or small-consistency matters) as a benefit to ourselves and others—KEEP IT GOING. Continuously doing what our heart desires— sitting with the urge to return to the status quo, the comfort zone….the longer we sit (not resist) with the urge and view it realistically…the farther we get from comfort and the more solid our NEW beliefs become, our neuropathways in our brain will start to rewire themselves through continuous inspired action. It becomes the new norm.