What is a perfect life?
Usually the definition we give to someone else. A life we observe and think, ‘wow’ they have it all!
Many of us may not compare out of jealousy or envy, we may be looking to someone as an image of a goal that we want too. Or, we can use the comparison to beat ourselves up with and constantly feel less deserving.
We may even feel like we’re a complete and total failure when we look at someone who we think has it more together, got lucky or seems to live a charmed existence.
The perfect life only has validity as allowing our imperfections (and life’s curveballs) to co-exist with what we deem good enough. It’s to accept the whole as is and see the beauty.
Once we accept things as they are, right now, we can then look at what we want to create from there (otherwise the focus is on what isn’t working) and live into that goal.
For a reality check, into what we deem ‘perfect’ is usually far off the mark. We know this is true, every time a new story about a public figure with their carefully constructed image, has been turned on its head.
For many of us, we can look in our own neighborhoods, Facebook, the office or anywhere in the world for carefully constructed images that are really less than true.
Living a life of a carefully designed image is actually one of quiet desperation.
It takes a lot of energy to pretend and there is the constant pursuit for what will fill the void, which in turn creates a wider gap from who the person really is, and who they display themselves to be.
And sometimes these same people may confess the partial truth or something, which makes them seem more attainable to connect with, only to have them quickly withdraw back into their carefully cultivated images.
Often the people we idealize, who we think live a perfect Facebook post life (I heard this somewhere and thought it was pretty funny) are often not really living what they post 24/7. They have their own crap too.
Everyone has crap, it’s been said and yet what is it that makes us think someone else’s crap is less toxic than our own?
Perhaps, someone is more successful than us in certain parts of their lives (or it just looks more successful). Realistically, there’s something to be said for luck, timing, and being in the right place at the right time. Not that it’s the entire picture, because to achieve luck, we have to be ‘open’ to opportunities, which might be a risk.
A risk in getting out of our comfort zone.
Something, which may look unfamiliar and not like a true opportunity, could be the game changer for us. And yet, some of us will keep right on playing it safe, stuck in the discomfort of what we already know.
Fear is a fucker.
People with carefully constructed images live in a lot of fear too. We all experience it, because we’re human, the difference is to live a perfect life we must be authentically who we are…living our truth.
Authenticity leads us to wholeness, which in turn creates a perfect life, not an idealized version or everything we touch turns to gold, but one we can just own and love it!
A perfect life has nothing to do with what we own or what we present to the world.
A perfect life may include the following:
1. Acceptance and forgiveness: Really accepting all of our mistakes; decisions we made from fear or lack and everything that never worked out and then forgiving it.
2. Love: Once we do number 1, number 2 is easier…we see the flaws in others and love them for it too. The more love we have for ourselves, the more compassion we have for the world.
3. Honesty: First figure out what you deny, push away or don’t want to admit to yourself….and then live that truth. Hardest on this list to do for some of us.
4. Fun: Daily.
5. Doing what you love everyday, even if it is for 10 minutes. It keeps us connected to our internal joy.
6. Making happiness our own responsibility: It is not the validation of others, which leads to a perfect life…if anything this will keep us settling for the small and perhaps, bread crumbs we’ve learned to survive on regularly. It’s to create the boundaries, which matter and we live to them first. Deciding our YES and our NO based on our desires, not pleasing someone at our expense–so they give us back something (or owe us); it gives clarity.
7. Let go. Whatever you beat yourself up with or hold hostage….release it. Get rid of the image of perfection as an idealized life.