If we really, really want something to change.
If we really, really want to manifest good things in our life to give ourselves joy, and bring the impossible to us….
Then we need to look at our underwear.
Many of us don’t place a lot of importance on our undergarments, because we don’t get the relationship or significance it has to how we actually feel about ourselves and what we deserve.
I was talking to one of my clients, about caring for oneself and all the ways we really live in scarcity.
Where we scrimp and compromise for ‘okay’ or ‘good enough’, and perhaps, even give little thought to how we shortchange ourselves. As she and I discussed the lack of caring that went into how dressing for the gym or even for bed, was really a reflection of how we feel about ourselves….
I brought up underwear.
Not her underwear specifically, but how for many of us, especially the ones who are single and sleep alone (and for the married couples who have no intimacy, etc), we figure no one is seeing them, so who cares, right?
We see them in our drawer and are basically saying to ourselves, we’ll buy new undergarments when we have someone in our life who would appreciate it or some other excuse. Do we realize what we’re saying to ourselves, when we don’t treat ourselves as someone we love?
Many of us treat people we love a helluva lot better than we do ourselves, which means there is usually a deficit. It’s out of balance; in truth, we can only give what we have plenty of or it is a sacrifice. One that eventually turns to resentment, since no one can ever appreciate us enough to make up for sacrifice. We have to value ourselves first, so we’re not thinking the only way to be loved is through people pleasing sacrifice. We have to fill up our loving cup first, which means what does our underwear look like? It’s a reflection.
If our partner has holey underwear….what do we think?
Okay, so back to my client who happens to be a nurse. In our ‘underwear’ conversation, she said “You wouldn’t believe some of the underwear I see coming into the hospital, not in a million years!” And I asked her, “What do you feel about the person when you see their underwear? What sort of identity or characteristics do you associate with them?”
She and I discussed it. She said on a first impression, she felt sorry for them, perhaps they were lonely, mistreated in some way or just didn’t care anymore. Exactly.
We all make a judgment call when observing others….negative or positive, we do it. What would our underwear reflect to others, as a statement of our inner world? Scarcity or abundance?
Even if we say we’re not settling; we believe we’re loving ourselves and being kind, ...what does our underwear say?
Is it in alignment with our goals?
Does it reflect our true feelings about what we deserve?
Are we so used to robbing Peter to pay Paul for the one thing we deem more important than another–instead of understanding how it impacts the overall picture? When we sacrifice or give away something to gain something…it is not done from a ‘there is plenty to go around’ perspective. We’re living in some form of scarcity in our lives. It is not fluent; it’s fragmented. Value is value.
If we want to manifest the impossible, we need to see where we deny ourselves what is possible, right now.
What do we pay no heed to in the way we treat ourselves, showing our brains what we deserve? What are we waiting for–a sign, a nod of approval, meeting someone new, or winning the lottery? Look where we say we don’t care; where we will blow it off today as not being important, as something we’ll instead, worry about in the future and today, we can change it, we can start giving to ourselves right here.
Checking out our underwear…..our hygiene…..our outer self–how we care for us; does it reflect the inner scarcity or the inner abundance?
What does it say we deserve?
When we fill our loving cup, we know that there is always more….that we have it to give, because we’re not looking for validation or saving pennies to buy new underwear for a rainy day.