Stagnation. Settling. Stuck-ville.
This is the norm for many of us. We may say we want more, get excited or angry about our circumstances, but hold onto it, rather than take a step toward change.
“Don’t wait for the right answer and the golden path to present themselves. This is precisely why you’re stuck. Starting without seeing the end is difficult, so we often wait until we see the end, scanning relentlessly for the right way, the best way and the perfect way. The way to get unstuck is to start down the wrong path, right now. Step by step, page by page, interaction by interaction. As you start moving, you can’t help but improve, can’t help but incrementally find yourself getting back toward your north star. You might not end up with perfect, but it’s significantly more valuable than being stuck. Don’t just start. Continue. Shift. Repeat.” ~ Seth Godin
Often when people contact me, they believe they are looking to change their circumstances. Or so they think. Until they are actually in the hot seat of having a path toward change, then many people find excuses to stay just where they are!
Change scares the bajeezus out of many of us!!!!
It’s never about the time or money, because let’s face it when we want to buy some new outfit, car, or even a house…we will find a way, if we want it bad enough! But when it comes to change, we will find excuses until the cows come home!
The key to change, as in, when most of us finally are open to the power of change, happens when we reach this point:
“When our current situation, is no longer an option, we can finally move in a different direction.”
The issue with waiting for our circumstances to be so horrible that we can no longer distract ourselves, or find comfort anywhere else, is that it is an extreme stance on keeping things the same. It’s keeping things stuck where they are, because of the fear of loss being so much greater.
When we spend days, months and years, sacrificing, complaining and finding others to commiserate, who help us to stay stuck…we are in the process of creating regret for all the time wasted, because of our FEAR OF CHANGE.
I provide free 20 minute consultations on relationships. Most people indicate they want to work with me at the end. People get a lot out of those sessions, BUT when I mention the money to continue working together, whether it is $3.00 or several times that amount…I know, it’s an opportunity for an excuse IF THE PERSON has NOT gotten to the point, where they can NO longer live the way they are living.
Plus, after a 20 minute session, they feel they have the fuel to carry them to change on their own (at least for a few hours or a few days)….except they don’t, nothing really changes, except their growing discontent and pain.
Many of them are living in a ton of pain already, BUT prefer it to change. They have hope that somehow, some way, by waiting, holding their ground or some other form of stagnation things will miraculously work out how they want, especially in the area of love and relationships.
The Power Of Change is an opportunity.
Yes, it is unknown, if we are choosing to do something completely different than what is our usual comfort zone….we have NO IDEA what the outcome will be….
And that is what keeps us stuck, no assurance that we’ll have what we want….so we’ll stick with the shitty situation we got!
I remember when I was stuck in a relationship, I felt a connection, so strong and unbreakable that it made me NUTS! I wanted to cut it off, and did several times, but allowed it to keep coming back around several times. One day, I decided I was going to grow in this situation by COMMITTING TO MYSELF and taking risks.
My risk was not only asking myself, “What would love do,” as opposed to anger and annihilation, but what would be the most loving gesture for me to do, for me, right now? And in doing this, which made me anxious as hell, freaked out that I was losing control (even though it was to use guilt or reminding someone how much they hurt me, etc)…I had to navigate new waters.
I could not continue to waste time, energy and emotion staying stuck. The power in changing was massive. Not only did I learn to love myself, I found that when I soar ahead, either those who are also growing come along for the ride and those, who like to be stuck, stay put.
Seriously, staying stuck for the benefit of others, will NEVER GET US WHAT WE WANT!
Finding the power in change, releases us to live more in alignment with our truth. We get closer to our dreams, in fact, where we felt it was impossible, it becomes possible!
Things stay impossible, because of our refusal to move ourselves in a different direction.
If you’re ready to change your relationship circumstances now, please contact me for a complimentary 20 minute relationship makeover session.
Please email to schedule info@Tracycrossley.com