Is Hope a Form of Hell?


There were times in my life that I lived in my own personal purgatory, an eternal hope that circumstances would change and I’d be first in line to receive what I wanted so badly.

I used to wonder if hope creates a living hell?

Besides being in the middle of war or some life-threatening situation, where you hope you make it out alive….

In all other circumstances, the word “Hope,” says things aren’t okay now! It’s a battle—the acceptance of what is vs. hope. Who wins?

It’s an exhausting fight.

I’ve done crazy things for hope and at times done nothing, but waited….and not calling it waiting, but in essence, it was….waiting.

I stayed in friendships and romantic relationships, hoping something dysfunctional would miraculously change or they’d wake up, get help or wear a matching t-shirt with me.

In a romantic relationship, I’ve been that chick.

The one who gave a ton o’ lovin’, hopin’ some day I’d hear how important and wonderful I was to their very life source. Silly, silly me.

I’ve also stayed til the bitter end of hope, when I’ve given up only to then get what I wanted….only not to want it anymore.

And I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t get rid of hope so easily.

It quietly seeped into my decisions.

I might hold back or go forth depending on that little pebble of hope. Every time I based any decision on hope, it never worked out.

Making decisions and hope should not be in the same buffet.

Decisions should be made wholeheartedly based on what is true for us in the moment.

When we desire someone else to change, like our mate, boss, kid, best friend…..we are passively living in hope.

Hoping had been a mental activity since I was a kid. Hoping for someday.

Someday what? That I’d get what I need, and have what I want?

What about the present moment?

Sometimes, someday never comes.

And if it does, it’s just as fulfilling as we allow it to be RIGHT NOW. If we’re not digging our lives today, what will make the difference tomorrow?

Thinking we’ll wake up someday and our whole life will be a wonderland, because we hoped it true, as long as our inside status stays the same…no outside nirvana will make a difference!

And we can’t hope we’ll change; we have to take action to change!

Having hope for change, means, “I’m not presently here.” It means no action.

We can get caught up in the “if onlys”; if only, this would happen then my life would be better.

Words and inspired action go hand in hand. Not someday, but NOW. “I can’t do that now, I’m not successful, pretty, happy, worthy, etc…yet, someday I will be!”

Now is all we have and now is the time to create change, so nothing remains a hope, instead its our reality.

Does hope ever bring a sense of fulfillment? Yes and no.

On our journey, if we hope and really believe everything will work itself out, we have a sense of contentment, and a state of non-attachment. We’re not worrying and we’re STILL putting energy toward what we want.

On the other hand, attachment sucks.  Sometimes it feels impossible to let go, especially when we’re still hoping it works out. How do we stop?

Stop hoping, and get very clear on the reality. What is really going on now? Accept it. Then we make decisions toward a HOPE we can control. All we can control are our own thoughts, reactions and actions.

Clarity allows us to give up the internal struggle and surrender to what is happening now. We can then see how our actions either support us in our desire to have the life we want or they move us away from what we want, where we can only “HOPE.”

When we actively participate in our journey, we trust that all will be well and we’re not attached to the outcome.

Although, sometimes having hope is like having a map–like when we’re completely lost and we know where we want to end up, so we have hope that it gets us there.

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