We can be stuck in negative thinking, because it is familiar.
It can be just what we know. Especially, if our thoughts are focused on a situation that won’t change, such as some of the WHY questions: “Why am I alone?” “Why can’t my partner do what I need?” Why does my life, job, home, relationship suck?”
And the I HATE statements: “I hate this situation I am stuck in, I hate making decisions, I hate him/her, I hate that I’m fat, I hate my life, job, etc…”
And so on…you get the picture.
Perhaps, upon waking the thoughts are there, the same ones like a wheel turning and all they manage to do is wear a person out!! Seriously, what type of mood does that put forth for the day ahead?
The reason it’s so exhausting is that those thoughts are stressful and if we were to act on them in an angry or stressed out manner, the outcome will probably not be what we want.
There is a way to stop the negative cycle of thoughts from taking over the day. It takes time to begin a new practice and I suggest starting small, very small….that will make it easier to continue and create a new habit.
1. Stop for a second in the middle of a negative thought. Ask yourself if it is helping you? The answer is more than likely, “NO.” All it does is keep you caught in a circular pattern.
2. Tell yourself to relax just for a minute. Close your eyes. Nothing bad is happening right in the moment. It’s just you here. Now as silly as it is, say, “I want to feel happy.” If you listen to that statement, you should feel some of the stress associated with negative thinking drop down.
3. Now. Pour some kindness on yourself. Meaning, tell yourself you are doing the best you can in your circumstances. Be compassionate. The kinder you are to you, the less angry you are with others.
4. Look at the situation, relationship, or whatever it is that keeps you uptight, BUT look at it through the eyes of kindness. Take the compassion you have for yourself and look outwards. Is there a small glint of acceptance for what is in the now? Do you feel a different option in how you are thinking, acting or desiring?
This type of transition may be incremental to some of us over time or it could be an epiphany. Slowing down and stopping the negative thoughts will make a difference in our lives, even if it is just in how we feel each day. Instead of having a pit in our stomach as we face the day, maybe there is a warmth throughout our body that no matter what we will be emotionally, “okay.”