The stories we tell…ourselves and others

Umberto Boccioni -Dynamism of a Man's Head.

How do you tell a story in which you can’t remember all the elements?

Is it even worth telling when some of it is misty or musty? Or do you just make up new details?

I ask myself this question as I look at what I’ve written and shared thus far on my blog and on elephant journal. I am beginning to realize the journey in sharing experiences has really only begun today.

Like most people, I have been a fairly private person when it comes to details of my life. 

As I let pieces and parts come out in my writing, it seems that others gain something from the excursion.

Which….leads me to this day. The journey to now writing stories that I have long forgotten some elements possibly crucial or maybe more like window-dressing.

And the thought of the word “story”, got me thinkin’ and I decided to explore it a bit with you today.

The “story” no longer defines me as “who I truly am.”

I don’t really have a story anymore, at least one that is set in stone. 

There is no horrible scar tissue that remains, as it used to be what drove me for years.

My view of the past with all its twists and turns on my path, used to convince me I thought I knew me.

I really had NO clue.

And I didn’t know how clueless I was until I was standing in the middle of major epiphanies! Wake up time!!

Do you know what I mean?

How have your past stories changed? And how did those stories change you?

What brought about your epiphanies?

I have epiphanies on a fairly regular basis.

My perception last week may have changed dramatically this week. Thank you light bulb moments!

Its a stretching and realization that everything changes, and when we resist, we’re screwed.

I was contemplating sharing some stories here, because what was painful to me, may be painful to someone else. And some of the things that were painful, may still bite me on the ass. Or in some cases, I may now be the compassionate observer to myself in a state of inner peace (at least in the moment).

We are all connected.

As much as we’d like to disconnect from some people, we remain connected… and to me, sharing our ever-changing experiences is a great place to remind ourselves of this truth.

The thing with stories, is they are just that “stories”, words with our special spin on past experiences, thoughts and perceptions of ourselves and our world.

When you realize you have the power within you to change your story, or destroy it and create a new one…. a whole world of ideas can open up to you.

If I feel like I am a loser and every story I tell about myself and my experiences to willing listeners ends with me “showing” how I am this huge loser….I have taken a story I believe and now given others the fertilizer to think the same thing.

And the funny thing is…

Number one: I am lying to myself me in my tale of woe, the belief is not true that I am a loser….its just the perception I am choosing, because there is a benefit to me in portraying myself as such a person.

And secondly, stories don’t define anything in terms of authentic truth about ourselves, if they are used to show how we are the victim or the super-hero. There is no true winner.

Either extreme is the ego looking to feel worthy through approval or prove once again that we are unworthy. Both sides of the coin show…we ain’t digging ourselves too much.

Thirdly, stories are from ONE viewpoint. You choose another POV and you have a brand new story.

We walk around exchanging these stories, these one-sided b.s. laden, fear-drenched, sad sack, victim stories. Stories can be very insightful and if you really listen, you can hear the honest truth beneath the words.

I spend a portion of my days as a coach listening to “stories”. And one service I provide is getting to the seed of the story, as to where the pain started by asking questions of my clients. Once there is the awareness of why a story exists, we can give it a broader more balanced perception. And this requires a lot of accepting on the part of the storyteller.

It gives way to freedom when we break out of our old, gloomy Gus stories. It gives us a plank to walk off into the unknown depths of who we are truly meant to be in this life. We are released to take chances and be the rock star we know lives in our heart!

Really, what lives under the weight of our stories is a sense of emotional adventure, passion, unlimited possibilities!

Stories keep us afraid. Stories keep us in suffering and pain. When you decide to change the story of your perception of your life by accepting you and the world, a tiny miracle happens. You stop suffering and you can see new possibilities.

It is that simple.

5 thoughts on “The stories we tell…ourselves and others

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