The Depression List

Guess what?

Unless there is a physical reason for your depression you DON’T have to suffer from it for one more stinkin’ minute.

If I can do it and my clients can do it, so CAN you!!!

Can you commit to your own inner well-being and happiness? Because if you can’t who will?

Standstill for 5 minutes; watch your actions, your perceptions and your thoughts. Follow the sensations, thoughts and perceptions through to beyond this moment. I bet if you drew a line to your goal of inner peace and happiness everything you are feeling and knowing would make that line zig zag, go backwards, upside down and then probably back to where you are standing. Feels shitty, huh?

Guess what else?

You JUST took the first step out of depression in becoming aware of yourself. How hard was that exercise? Depends on how disconnected you are from yourself emotionally.

The longer you distract yourself from your emotions, the longer you stay depressed.

NOTHING you accomplish on the outside takes depression away, NOTHING. It’s an inside job.

Don’t give me the lip service of someday your life will begin or you’ll be happy, cuz guess what you’ll still be YOU with those old thoughts, limiting beliefs and same approach you’ve been using for years.

And many yesterdays ago, you thought you’d be happy by now, because everything would have lined right up and you’d be walking on sunshine, so this is YOUR future. And where are you? Depressed?

The longer you are unaware of how your choices cause you pain, the longer and more reasons you create to be depressed.

The longer you think the good choices in the past have bearing on the present the longer you will feel hopeless.

Let’s look at some causes and then the remedies for depression.

1. Denying  joy.

You don’t deserve joy, love, happiness, etc… until you have achieved, blah, blah, blah. I say bullshit to that, because even when you achieve all those things, you will still have the same limiting beliefs, which make you believe suffering and punishment are somehow the road to happiness.

2. Withholding.

Yuck, yuck, yuck. You keep all of it inside of you, pushed down, shoved around…no one knows what you really feel. Where do you think that unexpressed emotion goes? It gets moldy, because it is layered in fear. You’re afraid to recognize or share your feelings from your heart-to be vulnerable. You don’t TRUST yourself or anyone else not to hurt or disappoint you—guess what, it’ll happen and you will survive.

But withholding—it is SLOW SUFFOCATION. It is you creating obstacles; you want the relationship or situation to fail. You are guaranteeing it, because your limited beliefs say “this is what you deserve.”  You are your own dam to the flow of love and life.

3.    Victimhood.

It all happens to you. He did this, she did that, there was an earthquake, my pants shrunk I didn’t gain weight…it says I have no control over my life. It says I have NO say and everything outside of me is a complaint, because I make no choices, it is too hard to change things or I like to wallow in depression, because its COMFORTABLE and SAFE. I do what is expected or I live in my own limited perception, because I control nothing. STOP BLAMING. 

That little voice in your head…that’s you as a child.

It’s you reminding you of the experiences you had as a kid; the negative ones, which created your view of the world with these labels for yourself. It gave you a place and a warped idea of who you really are…and guess what? IT AIN’T TRUE!!!! #1 reason you are depressed.

4.    Lack of love.

When you feel a tingling of love. What happens? Do you cry for your blankie, cuz your scared? Do you associate love with pain, suffering, loss of control? THAT IS NOT LOVE!!!

That’s control, limiting beliefs that you’re not good enough and deserve to be alone, because once someone gets close to you, they’ll see what a loser you are….and BECAUSE YOU believe this, you’ll create it!

5.    Stuck.

It comes from not taking action; doing what you don’t want to do to please an invisible or visible authority, unrealistic expectations in which you feel like you’ve invested and have to keep doing it the same way.

Depression comes from holding on when things don’t work out, not letting go and NOT moving on. Depression comes from wanting things to be different and doing nothing to change it.

6.    Don’t commit to yourself or others, only to what feels crappy.

Depression comes from not living YOUR life. It comes from one foot in and one foot out in your relationships. Not giving it your all or giving something you don’t want your all, so you stay miserable. Screw duty, find a different perception—it will change the duty.


  • Stop feeding what you don’t want. Say NO, Say YES…whichever is holding you back….say more.
  • You create more depression by denying joy, fun and allowing….. When you allow, your world changes.
  • STOP waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you keep on believing pain must come, it will, BECAUSE YOU CREATE IT!  HAVE FUN ANYWAY!
  • Stop. Take an emotional risk, the type that makes your teeth chatter with nerves, uncomfortable and scared…yeah, you feel it??? IF IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, Do it!! Do it now! Don’t wait!!! HAVE COURAGE!!
  • If you love someone tell them, show them, be with them, holding back means you feel you don’t deserve the love or feeling good.
  • BE VULNERABLE—it makes YOU courageous. If you compartmentalize or separate your emotions from your everyday life—you are depressed!!! FEEL your FEELINGS—live it up and love your feelings, they’ll love you back when you allow them to coexist in your world.
  • You are unlimited. Act without limitations.
  • Do something that inconveniences you, but brings you joy and excitement. Make the time between the “have to’s” for the “Want to’s”. When I start to get depressed, this is what I know works for sure bring on the BALANCE. I feel in control of my life and my choices. Surprise yourself and others!!! It feels awesome!!!
  • Love doesn’t hurt, I promise. It’s your beliefs about love that hurt. Physically when you focus on love, it feels good. When you focus on the fear of getting hurt or disappointed, your stomach and whole body tense up and your convinced you can’t handle it. Allow yourself to feel your heart, good will come IMMEDIATELY.
  • SHARE, be intimate, trust, allow, bond, open. Depression is closed and lonely. Be the butterfly and watch yourself fly. It’s okay, to withhold is NOT okay, unless you like being depressed and alone.
  • Have goals that are attainable, make your heart pound with excitement and ARE fulfilling.
  • Make today opposite day–do the opposite of your norm!!!
  • Feeling you deserve good and happy, rather than suffering and punishment.
  • Be okay with how things are way less than perfect or how you believe they should look. Life never looks how we want it to for very long. Get used to it.
  • CHOOSE!! Choose you, choose happiness, change your mind. Just make a choice and see what happens.
  • Accept you, stop trying to be someone else or perfect—there are no rewards for anything less than being authentically YOU.
  • Listen to your emotions, feel them, and just be with it, they change like the tide. It connects you to you.
  • When limiting thoughts and beliefs come up, ask their truth. Are they valid? Or bullshit. You have as much right to happiness as anyone else. 

And call or email me, I can help you to attain this level of living…

And watch for my ecourse on saying goodbye to depression.

Painting by Marc Chagall. 

3 thoughts on “The Depression List

    1. Hi Cindy…

      The older we get the more hemmed in we are by past experiences, because there’s a big part of us that believes it’ll happen again, we can’t let go and move on or if we do, we bring it with us. All of the limitations we have come from ideas we developed about the world and our place in it when we were kids. So, if you thought you were smart, dumb, pretty, ugly, invisible, unlovable, unworthy, etc…as a child because of either how you were treated, what you witnessed or what you were told, it became a belief. When we are young we don’t notice the beliefs so much, yet if you look at your history, you’ll see common threads which relate back to those old beliefs. In essence, we spend our lives trying to prove these f—d up beliefs as true, by making sure we set up situations which reinforce the belief over and over again. And by the time you are in your 40-50s, you have a huge backpack full of experiences, which tell you those beliefs are true. Until we are aware of that background noise, it can keep us stuck, miserable, victimized, unlucky, unhappy, etc… (I get a bit passionate when I explain this concept, because it is the biggest truth I have found for myself and those that I have as clients). When you become aware of the noise–miracles can happen in the present moment. : )

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