Too Many Flaws

I saw the headline above this morning as it flashed across the TV screen at the gym.

Not to address the context it was stated, but what constitutes “too many flaws”?

What is the “official flaw limit”? 

I wasn’t aware that as human beings, any walked among us “flaw free”. Yet, we each have a judgment for others and ourselves as to what is acceptable.

Another view is one person’s flaw is another’s success.

And of course this is determined by what an individual embraces “success” to be in this world.

Many people are made infamous for a flaw. They make money and achieve fame, because others are enthralled by their “flaw(s)”; almost like watching a car accident.

Flaws are used against people all the time. “You screwed up, you are worthless” or “that wasn’t a mistake, you did it on purpose”; there is a litany of statements, which fall under flaws people show and how all are used against them.

These errors in: judgment, non-awareness, driven to have what you want at cost to others, any breaking of any rule, deviant behavior and anything considered “wrong” by an individual are burdens. Shackled to for the rest of their lives from an outside perspective and probably an inside one too.

And when we turn against ourselves for our flaws and live in shame, guilt or any other image to beat us up, what is gained?  Does this remove the flaw? And if so, do we replace it with another?

As you may have discovered pointing out flaws that another has doesn’t work.

It doesn’t work because they have to be aware to change them.  And really, is the impetus to point them out because it works better for you? Or you want to feel superior to that person because of your own struggles with yourself to feel good?

Blaming does nothing; it takes your control away and leaves you a victim.

People spend money, time and energy trying to better themselves and be less flawed. And I guarantee the end result is not perfection.  It is a harsh sentence to be told you have too many flaws and therefore you no longer count. How in another’s eyes do you absolve yourself? You don’t and nor should you.

Acceptance is a good start.

The pursuit of perfection is a perfect fiction novel that we all want to make into our biography; our own work of nonfiction.  It will never happen. People deny this is truly the goal.

Yet, we seek it in all who exist in the public eye; we seek it in our looks and our own distorted view of the disturbing features we possess. If we are rid of them, we won’t be set apart anymore or we will finally gain a place in being accepted and okay.

Whatever battle you are fighting with yourself to have less flaws, can cost you, so much. Your time, energy, self-love, esteem, treating yourself as a captured criminal, the activities and goals you pursue.  

After all, if you don’t think your good enough, because of this flaw or that one…you have found the perfect excuse for all that is wrong in your life and  stay on the ground; not reaching for the heights of your unlimited creativity.

Flaws can be a show-stopper.

I have found looking at my gifts and growing them to be a much more fulfilling way to live.

As I wake each day, I realize it is an opportunity to create. I have been giving up the pursuit of perfection for years. Bit by bit it is gone up in smoke!

Sometimes when I make a mistake the old belief comes in yelling at me ” I wasn’t good enough or how could I be so stupid or what is wrong with me that this happened!”

I pause.

And hit the re-set button.

I look at what really happened. If I didn’t utilize my best effort, I relax and give myself a break…if it is something I could have prevented; I find it easier to forgive my “human-ness” now.

I allow obsessive thoughts to come and go on how I could’ve done better and pretty soon it floats out of my awareness and I’m back to creating.  I do not cover it up with positive affirmations. I always feel like it is putting perfume on “p*&^p”!

I let go so much sooner now; I no longer keep a running list of all my flaws to beat myself over the head. And when I reflect on an area not going how I want it to in my life….

I remember that I’m participating in its creation, being aware of my feelings, my reasons for the action I take and then I figure this is all I can do and its okay!

And my journey is not a linear line. We all have flaws and isn’t that what  makes us most endearing and lovable?

 

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