The believing project is almost two months old now. Much has changed in my life and what I notice the most is my mantra, “If not now, when?” And as I drop down through the valley of myself, hit with past experiences meant to stop a freight train; a feeling comes to me that I can only describe as my becoming Lindsay Wagner, bionic woman, picking up the freight train and re-setting it on its track.
I’ve put myself in a position to show up in my life as though I’m 20 once again, yet now, I’m clear on what I want to do from MY heart. This is the first time I’m leading solely (soul-ly) with my heart.
I know that courage (strength of heart) has become my ally in a way that I never could have imagined, as each minute I choose myself and what I want for me; the opportunities open up and come to me.
This journey has its days when I feel like nothing is going my way, then with every ounce of mental and emotional focus, I STOP. I stop the discouraging voice, the pattern of believing my past is my present and I don’t deserve what I want, and so on… AND then like a lioness I roar!! Overcoming and “changing” a behavior in that moment, it takes time, but I feel different each day. I thought I had self-awareness before, this has moved to a whole new level!
The FUN part is I have absolutely no idea what this will end up looking like professionally or personally; I am just believing and trusting. I have found more confidence that I deserve the list I wrote over two months ago.
You can find that post here .
On my list of 6 items this is where they stand:
(a) Each day, I am writing my book, “knowing” it will be published. It is just flowing right through me and is truly becoming a great love for me!
(b) In September, I was very fortunate to attend the wedding of a dear friend in Mammoth. It was a very grounding experience for me, and a complete joy! And I have been meeting new people on a very regular basis!
(c) Ah yes, to be blissfully wed to my best friend and soulmate at some point in 2012. I remember when I wrote it, I thought maybe I should put engaged or some other lesser stage of commitment, but this for whatever reason felt right! Call me crazy, but we’ll see! The who; when or where; is a mystery. I keep opening myself up as love in the broadest sense and the most intimate. I know if I’m open and participating in my life happily and honestly, a dynamic, authentic, solid partnership is the outcome. It will be based on intimacy, respect, truth, trust, unconditional love and friendship.
You see settling, is in the past, when it comes to all areas of my life.
(d) In the past week, I have 3 new coaching clients, which I am thrilled to be able to partner with on their journey. I have also had new clients come in for intuitive readings in the past two months and refer others to me too.
(e) This one is a little different, as much has changed in this particular area of my life. The company I was doing marketing for has come into a little crunch, as the product has not been released as of yet and cash flow grows tighter daily. In the midst of trying to figure out what I was going to do and how I would take on the next part of my existence; I wrote out a proposal and sent it out to a few of my clients, in which I detailed what I was about to embark on in my life. You can read about it here .
What a perfect opportunity for me to take a complete leap of faith, right? If I am committed to “me”, growing my own business, writing my book, etc…then why not make “now” the time? I mean, really…I coach people on leading their lives with their hearts to REALIZE those long forgotten dreams! So, here I am. Scared? Some moments, but I am focused and the more action I take, the more empowered I feel!
In focusing my energy on my coaching practice, my book and my life… I leave behind a nagging fear. I have worked hard to allow my work to bloom. I am 100% believing at this point, folks! So, I hope you will join me as I soar to new heights, overcome the valleys of darkness in myself and realize my dreams! Even though I have no safety net; I know I won’t be homeless. I know I won’t be alone. I believe I’m learning to roll with change in a different way- not victimized, but empowered. I am determined to create what I was afraid to create before…fulfilling prosperity and success in ALL areas of my life.