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Many of us say we want things to be different in our lives, but the loss of the familiar is way too scary.

We can stay stuck for years in non-movement, making excuses and feeling crappy. The main reason we stay there, beyond losing the familiar is we don’t know how to proceed. What’s the best course? Is there a course?

There is and it’s in our hearts. We have the map RIGHT THERE. We just have to listen and follow it, rather than analyzing, agonizing and getting stuck in our heads.

We are SO AFRAID of change, we create a life of regret. How many people stay stuck in jobs and relationships, which make them miserable? Perhaps, they’ve compartmentalized themselves so much that they block out the misery and are just numb!

Whatever bulls**t we tell ourselves, is so we can remain in the same place, never growing, expanding and really loving ourselves. The key is to be afraid, very afraid and do it anyway.

Often, we think we can walk away and close a door to someone or a situation without really allowing ourselves to feel. For some of us, we pack it away and say, “I am gonna push my way through or be SO strong that I overpower all of my emotions!”

That ain’t strength and it isn’t authentic and it leads us further away from transformation.

Transformation requires surrender, it means to stop the struggle. Yet, as people walk the ring of fire in transformation they struggle to maintain the old; the familiar. 

I know from all parts of my life what transformation really does: it’s letting go of what we grasp. Letting a new process or new way of being, becomes the way for us to expand.

In my business, I’ve struggled with finding the right coach for me. I’m a straight shooter and I find in my industry that quite a few people (not all) follow a pattern of sales, which is disturbing to me. Often, it doesn’t allow you to get what the coach really offers….there’s a promise of transformation, but it isn’t clear on how they help you. It’s hard to get intimate enough to know if it’s a solid fit.

It requires me to know two things, first I have to open myself to knowing that hiring a coach is scary, it means transformation, so I have to be aware of any possible resistance that I’m unaware of on my part (what excuses do I have to not hire them) and secondly, what’s the cost to me if I don’t hire someone to help me, to shine a light on my blind spots, so I get where I need to go?

It’s the same thing when it comes to love.

First, we have to trust ourselves to honor our boundaries and not try to please or manipulate to get what we want….and secondly, it means to become vulnerable and allow someone else to see all parts to us, because when we do, we’ve accomplished transformation. Otherwise, to remain cut off, invulnerable and being stuck in a non-loving position creates ailments across the board….and it begs the question, what is the cost to us, if we don’t allow?

None of this is as easy as writing it, because our old beliefs would like us to stay with the familiar (even if it sucks) will keep us stuck, trying to convince us to remain as we are….

Clarity in our motivation and understanding along with desire creating action to transform–is AWARENESS and the seeds to TRANSFORM. Forget talking, it’s about dancing with the unknown, stepping out of our way and embracing all that we are and will become.

Recently, I had anxiety, something which has become totally unfamiliar to me. I woke up on my birthday with it and after being in the theater watching Gravity (becoming claustrophobic, experiencing motion sickness), I had to walk out and get air. I had a friend mention all the change I was creating in my life…and I said, “yeah,” as though that wasn’t it. It wasn’t til I woke the next day feeling crazy, thinking I was losing my mind that it hit me. I wrote down all the overwhelm and my fears with change… I realized my thoughts were trying to sabotage me. My subconscious was trying to keep me stuck and unable to go forth…

Why do I share, because fear is insidious and when you’re prepared to transform, your mind will throw everything it can in the way of changing the familiar.

If you want help with transforming your life to one of pleasure, peace, happiness and overall acceptance…call me or join my newest program, I love helping others to gain the awareness/strength to LIVE THEIR DREAMS!

 

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